I can't help anyone

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I always hesitate to tell people I have Aspergers because usually they either start patronizing me and treating me like a child, or they assume I don't have a sense of empathy. It's actually the opposite; I probably have more empathy than the average person. I cry when someone else's loved ones die. When people tell me something they're upset about, I get just as upset about it if not moreso and do anything I can to solve it. The problem, I guess, is that most people don't want me to try and solve their problems, they just want someone to listen. And that's something I can't do. I can listen and internalize everything they say, but I have nothing to say on it, because I don't know how words can help anyone. I think that I take problems too literally. I only want to fix things, not hear people complain about them, and if fixing it isn't the answer then I can't help. The other day, in art class, my friend who also has Aspergers was upset that she couldn't paint well. I watched another person tell her "you just need practice" and the teaching coming over and trying to joke with her about something, and I watched her become more and more stressed out. I felt horrible because, being autistic, I was the only person there who understood how she felt and who had been in similar situations thousands of times. Everyone else was making it worse, and I was doing nothing. Out of frustration, I yelled that she wants to be left alone and that they're just making it worse for her, but nobody listened. It's odd because if someone messages me through text or online and vents, I can easily come up with some inspiring and reassuring paragraph to help them feel better, but in person, anything I try to say is interpreted as insincere because the pattern that my voice pitches in is unnatural and always sounds monotone or neutral. I never developed the ability to sound sincere or genuine about any emotion. That also doesn't help when I'm upset about something, because no one knows. The only emotion I can naturally express is anger, which is only obvious when I throw a fit or am having sensory overload. So yeah, I guess everyone thinks I'm insensitive and emotionless.

I know the feeling when I was that age I was only able to express anger also. I think that even thought the other may have thought it was insensitive your friend may of appreciated it. Next time you see them explain calmly that you panicked and wanted to help her or write a letter explaining your reaction.

I learned that people never listen to the person shouting and are more likely to listen to a calm yet demanding voice. I used to find that taking a breath and planning what I was going to say would help me tell people calmly what I was thinking