The struggle for a social life

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Words can't describe how terrible I feel right now. I have for years struggled with being ignored, rejected and occasionally bullied by some of the people I thought were my friends and ideally would have been my friends. For a long time, I've had the notion that I mean something to someone, only to realize that they will probably never miss me.

I occasionally get invited to parties and other occasions, but I feel the only reason is because they probably know I don't have anyone else or anything else to do. I have a strong feeling that they don't enjoy my company, and that my aspie personality is seen as extremely repulsive by them. I'd have to agree that they don't have too much in common with me, but neither with the few people outside of school that I do have something in common with do I have a good relationship.

I'm leaving high school this summer and I hope and pray things will get better from there. I'll spend the summer travelling, for some reason I find it much easier to interact and connect with people from foreign countries and cultures, I have no idea why really. The only true friend I feel I have here where I live, who I actually mean something to, is a foreigner.

Hopefully, hopefully things will improve further when I start university this fall. Then it will be easier to meet people with the same interests as you, everyone is new to the city, and I truly believe that if I put my best effort into performing well socially in the first weeks, things will go just fine, though I'm really scared that if I fail miserably socially in the beginning of uni, I'll drop into a depression with subsequent academic failure. Having to think about "performing" socially, unlike NTs who do so effortlessly, causes me a lot of stress, it feels so unfair, I'd trade most of what I got for better social skills.

Does anyone have some advice on how to cope? There is nothing I wish for more than being able to live a normal social life, even though being less social probably would cause me less stress. I just want to fit in and be like the others... Occasionally I manage to with a lot of effort, but too often I fail so badly

I personally found things improved a great deal for me socially when I started uni - high school is a mess for most people. Make sure you're constantly working on yourself & improving how you relate to others. Don't be too harsh on yourself, but at the same time keep making an effort.
All the best!

I can relate. Maybe you could try getting involved in different groups, if you haven't already. It might also be a good idea to look for friends who aren't easily persuaded or influenced by anyone because they would be more trustworthy.

And don't use the Big Bang Theory guys as role models. No NT in real life would put up with those douche bags.

You just wrote my experience back in high school. You know what, as I look back now, in high school and uni, those that actually took the time to know me better, who actually seemed to care, and treated me like I was worth something, were a little older than me, a little wiser, or a little more mature than others my age. All my life, I wanted to fit in so bad, that I burned myself out. Now I am a little more careful for my own wellbeing - I'll do what I want and say what I think is right, then I'll stop second guessing myself and stop forcing myself to do what is expected for someone my age. If I am weird, then I am weird. Some people love my weirdness - those are the ones that matter, and make me feel happy.

When you go to uni, find people that also have similar interests, and get rid of people that make you feel uncomfortable. In high school that is a little difficult, but in uni that becomes easier - everyone is new, and everyone is in the same boat.

Things started picking up for me after age 21 when I loved in with a family member and learned basic social skills as well as manners and rules. That is when things began to click.