My ex messaged me and I snapped on him....

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My ex messaged me yesterday asking for another chance and I got so mad because he was obviously lying so I snapped on him and went on a rant about every single reason why he upset me and why things went wrong. It was in the heat of the moment and I wanted to get the last word in and make sure that he knew how much he hurt my feelings and how much I hated his friend as well. My parents found out that I snapped and I got in trouble for it at home. I never wanted to fight I just wanted to stand up for myself and let him know that he made a mistake and maybe a part of me wanted him to be miserable knowing that he can't get me back with trying to sweet talk me after what him and his friend did. I was so mad that I took screenshots of his messages and exposed him on social media, even though I knew it was wrong. My friends were giving me praise and encouragement this whole time to do stuff like that. They told me I was standing up for myself and that I shouldn't be afraid to say whatever I want to him because he deserved it, which only pushed me to keep doing it. I feel upset with myself that I got pushed to say those things but at the same time I meant every single word of what I messaged him and didn't apologize for nothing. He apologized to me and begged me to give him another chance but I said no and went on to tell him that he was immature for what he did etc etc. I didn't even believe he meant it cuz 2 months ago he wanted nothing to do with me and claimed he had another gf but now he comes back and claims that wasn't true after I called him out for lying about it. He's only sorry that he can't find anyone better than me cuz anyone better than me would probably reject his sorry ass anyways lol. I got the last word in and blocked him again but now I feel miserable, like I'm in a permanent bad mood. I snap on people when I'm at home, I snapped yesterday at work, and I almost snapped on my friend even though she had nothing to do with it. Its been like that for awhile, since we broke it off. My self esteem is literally gone, I hate myself and I hate boys in general. In fact, I don't know if I'll be able to even date again cuz every time its literally the same immature stuff and I'm tired of it. I attract the worst types and I feel its my fault and that I'm the reason nothing ever works out. I was moving on and now he has to come in and ruin things for me its so stupid.

Hello,

He sounds like a twat. I think you should stick up for yourself. I don't know why your parents are angry, if he did something wrong I would expect them to understand your hurt and support you. Though I can imagine they are upset because of the social media thing. They may be from a generation of people that do not do that sort of thing. It is some what aggressive to do that. Your friends would support it because it is a good way to damage someone and it would create some drama for them to enjoy. Be careful of what to take from your friends in the way of advice. They may be trying to get you to do something that will make them feel good regardless of your feelings.
This guy is obviously a nasty person and his friend. I do not know what he or his friend did, I don't think that matters so much. The only thing that matters is you try to learn from this. Know that he hurt you and that is not acceptable. You have stood up for yourself, better that you vent at him than your friends. Be careful with venting at your friends, but you know that. Do not be put off of men because of this dick. There are nice people out there that would love and support you. Though finding one may be difficult/luck.
Be careful with venting in general, avoid doing it at work at all costs. Work requires diplomacy. If your friends are being supportive appreciate it. If they are trying to get their way, distance yourself from them slowly to avoid getting them on your case.
This is just my take on it.
There will be many, all different.
Pick and mix.

All the best
Simon

This happens with me also. I vent, hurt, yell and then go back to sweet talk and act like a fool.

we need to take firm decision before they take firm ones and dump us.

very few people can take the s**t i deliver

If your ex is approximately the same age as you, then he IS immature, he doesn't merely ACT immature. Teenage boys are not grown men any more than teenage girls are grown women (though some girls are forced to grow up very fast, by an early pregnancy for instance).

Give dating a little break while you work on other areas of your life. Avoid extreme thoughts like "I will never date again" and "all men are creeps."

I agree you were 100% right in not taking him back after he hurt you, and he's just fumbling around in the dating game not knowing what he's doing and making lots of mistakes. Eventually, he will learn that a good partner is not somebody you mistreat. But it's not your job to be his teacher.

If you feel full of rage, take some long, slow, deep breaths, and see if that doesn't relax you a bit. A trick I learned is that the exhale should take just a bit longer than the inhale. So if you inhale to the count of 6, exhale to the count of 8. The whole point of paying attention to the time you spend on inhale or exhale is to take your mind off what has been troubling you.

Let us know how you're doing!

Sometimes parents are wrong. This might be one of those instances. You do not always have to be nice and civil to someone. In some instances it's appropriate to be harsh with people, for example, when they have been untruthful or deceptive to you, when they are harassing you, or when they are making unreasonable demands and won't take no for an answer.


You have no obligations to protect someone who has intentionally harmed you in any way. So what you did might be vindictive, it's not necessary wrong. In fact, in some situations, it's entirely right to expose someone, for example, if they are physically or sexually violent, but of course, in those instances, always go to the police first.



Maybe you feel miserable because you let him get to you, and though you are content with what you said to him, perhaps you were not as emotionally controlled as you would have like to have been when you said it? Also, perhaps you felt disrespected twice? The first time when he did whatever he did that caused you to dump him, and the second time when he tried to pressure you into taking him back.



Oh don't hate boys in general. The only thing they have in common is their sex, and your boyfriend's behavior is not representative of the male sex as a whole, any more than it is of the female sex as a whole. There are good people and bad people, and people at various stages of emotional development, and your ex boyfriend is still at a very early stage of emotional development.



You are very young so most relationships at this age will be temporary because most people your age are still developing socially and emotionally, including you. Also, during the teenage years, things like emotions are amplified, and that's why the teenage years are so hard for so many people. It's not until sometime in the 20's that people start to form more long term, stable relationships usually.