What is wrong with me?

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I am a 31 year old married father of a 2 year old. I live a very normal life and function just fine in the real world. I went through the majority of my life doing what I thought everyone else wanted me to do. I tried to act the right way and always just pushed everyone deep inside of me. It wasn't until my mid 20s that I started to notice certain things about myself and my wife started showing me what I was doing.

I spent the majority of my life being told I was an a**hole and just not a good person. I can be the nicest person in the world(when I'm getting my way). But if you throw a wrench in those plans I will reign down hell upon those who dare get in my way. For my daughters second Christmas I wanted to put her toys together myself on xmas eve. My wife had her friend over and they wanted to stay up and help. I freaked out and threw a tantrum. Even when they gave in and tried to give me what I wanted I refused and just stayed mad. When my wife is moving "too slow" I can start to feel my body temperature rise and I become frustrated. It's almost as if I am watching myself freak out. I try to tell myself to stop but the anger just continues to spew out of me.
I don't enjoy doing things like going to concerts, going to parties or crowded shopping centers. However I love sports and will go to them anytime. I get annoyed when people can't think of an answer fast enough and would rather just do everything myself than get anyone's help.
I become obsessed with people and things. Once iv decided I love or hate someone you can't change my mind. I have seen every episode of the Office maybe 50 times. Once I decide on something like getting a dog I have to get a dog.
What is wrong with me? Am I just a douche of a person?

Whenever you feel a tantrum coming on, just take 10 deep breaths.

And try to be more patient with people in general.

No, I don't think you're a douche. I do believe you should be more flexible in life, in general.

You like to be in full control of those around you and your inflexibility is making you unpopular. You can be lucky your wife puts up with it because many women wouldn't.

I'm not criticizing; just observing. People around you perceive you as selfish and a "control freak" and feel they are living around an active volcano! I know how it is when I want to do something myself and others who are well-meaning want to help. Sometimes we have to compromise.
You said it all when you say "I'm the nicest person in the world when I'm getting my way!

But I also have these tendencies so I understand where you're coming from. I lose patience with things which don't work properly e.g. will sometimes snap a pen in half if it refuses to write...

I also don't like crowded places like shopping malls when they're ultra busy, or parties where people stand around looking and sounding unnatural.

I think you're intelligent but impatient, and maybe you have a touch of OCD so you might benefit by seeing a therapist about it. You're not at all a bad person though since you clearly recognize that you have your faults. People who are true egotists don't.