Aspie optimism? Expecting people to be nice

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This is another "Is this just me or is it an Aspie thing?" thread.
I find that I am generally optimistic about people. I expect people to be honest and caring, as I feel I am myself. And I am surprised when they are not. Sometimes I think I live in this little bubble of how I think the world should be and reality does not enter into it. Then occassionally I start to see something that changes this view and it frightens me, and I don't know how to deal with it.
I am aware that there are problems in the World, and that terrible things do happen. But on a day to day level, in my own experience, I do not expect it.
Does anyone else feel like this?

I've really got no idea whether its an aspie thing or not, all I know is that every time I've ever met anyone I've always automatically thought that they must be a kind caring nice person.
I mean why not, why wouldn't they be.
I have many times found out that these people aren't so nice, but still can't change the way j feel about a new person.
I guess I can't or dont want to stop thinking that most people are decent kind people.

i do, sort of.

i've had my own bad experiences with people that, at least in theory should have taught me otherwise, but that hasn't happened.

i think that is a decent attitude to have, and might even be better than "talk to nobody, because they are all out to get you sooner or later", but i hesitate to be that open/optimistic myself. i'm just a bit more wary.

hopefully you aren't hurt too much because of it.

i don't think it's either a "just you" or an "aspie thing".

Generally, I assume that people are going to be nice unless I'm in a supermarket or in a certain town, in which case I assume that they're going to be an inconsiderate a***hole.

I expect humans to be cruel, then forgive them for it if so and foolishly expects them to change somehow.


I forgive them because they are humans, and they cannot help but be needy and demanding because of the reality they're living with.

And no, I do not hate people nor pity them for being human.

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I do think people will be nice, but not because I am. I aspire to be nice and warm and fuzzy, but I am not at all. I'm often mean. I certainly can be nice though. I don't know if it's an Aspie thing. Being naive is though.

I think that's more just being a bit naive more than anything if I'm honest. You should try to think the worst of people then be pleasantly surprised when they do something nice, that's how I do it anyway. But I think this way about adults more than younger people. Like, kids for example I suppose are usually innocent and don't do anything really bad usually so that's an appropriate reason to be shocked when a child does something quite bad.

Thing is though, being naive socially is quite common with aspies so it probably is down to being an aspie in some sense.

I don't know if it's an Aspie thing or not ( I don't know if I'm an Aspie ) but my GF says I always see the good in people and generally have good faith in people. Unfortunately having this attitude means that you can be abused and used due to your kind nature - and you never seem to learn

I have a basically optimistic nature...but I'm wary, too.

Definitely not me, I am a pessimist I guess and I really lack the ability to read other people so I've become less trusting and more guarded as a result. I don't think it's a good or healthy thing, while I might avoid getting taken advantage of or humiliated I also avoid a lot of other potentially good things. It is a constant battle against my natural instincts.

Hi there Yes, I totally relate to this. I am eternally optimistic about people even though experience has taught me that people are not necessarily all nice/kind/honest etc. I never learn I have just learnt to accept this about myself and try to rely more on the opinions of those close to me.

Whenever human beings are "nice" I find it surprising and a bit shocking. I learned just how "not nice" people can be at a young age and not to trust anything they say.

I'm a born pessimist and a loser, and learned as a very young kid that 90% of the time things will go wrong. If you're happy and excited about Christmas or your birthday, you'll get sick on that very day, or shortly before. If you plan an outdoor event, like a picnic or a trip to the beach, it'll rain. If it doesn't rain, you'll get sick instead. If you try to play games at a party you'll be the only one who loses at every game, and then everyone will have a prize except you. If people act nice it is usually just that, an act, and sooner or later they're gonna betray you. It's just how life is.

When I was younger almost everyone seemed so perfect. Now, as they don't treat me like a child anymore, I've realized that there are people who have their faults.

I think it's a mentality people learn or grow up with. People who are told the world is a nice place might be more inclined to assume that the people they meet are going to be nice and that good things will happen. I was very shy and nervous about life for a long time because my mother worried a lot and told me too much about our financial and family problems when I was too young for it.

But, perspective can also change with time. I'm a lot more optimistic than I used to be.

It's not really a little bubble, there's plenty of good people. However I've made 2 observations.

A) Everyone gets frustrated, everyone gets insecure. Everyone is going to become irritated with everyone, so at one point or another everyone is going to come across as an a**hole. I made the mistake of believing that there are unconditionally good people in the world, but those people are extremely rare, and they have to give up their insecurities to be good to others. Sounds logical at first, but to give up insecurities is to open yourself to what can cause more insecurity.

B) It seems to be a common thing for people with AS to believe someone else will think or behave the same because that's the logical part. We believe it is only natural for someone who likes what we do to have the same motivation for liking said things. However every individual is unique, and I'm not saying this because cliché usage everywhere, I'm saying it because it's literally true. Every single person in my life has had a different talk style, different thinking style, unique ways of dealing with stress. There are no 2 people in in my life that I have met that have been completely similar. So when we make the mistake of thinking everyone must think like us then we lead ourselves into a trap of despair once we get the delusion that all people are bad. I'm not saying any of you do this but I know that I myself have believed that and it lead me into a period of significant isolation and depression.

I hope this helps a bit