why do i feel incomplete?

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sorry if this is in the wrong forum or place please just let me know where to put this if its in the wrong place.
i am wanting to make new friends nearby but i'll try and be as concise as possible
any questions just message me or something
well my psych tells me this might help so here ya go:

positives:
i can drive passing with only 1 minor.
i am saving to buy my own house which i should achieve by June in two years time.
i enjoy building things and learning how to build things
i am getting distinctions in engineering all the time.

as for the negatives..
um i have two close friends who i think are sick of me.
i live in a house full of shouting and screaming..
i have depression .. (weeee! )
i have been a victim of domestic abuse in a relationship.

okay, i feel incomplete too. (fine)

but not necessarily for the same reasons as you. (fine).

so, of course, i do not know you, i ain't psychic, i ain't telepathic. (fine)

but the reasons why i (suspect that i) feel incomplete:

ain't got no precious lil "friends". almost everyone that has ever told me he/she was a "friend", ended up betraying me.

gender identity disorder, autism, clinical depression

fourth year, flunked out structural engineering

only had minimum wage jobs, and got fired. everything i know how to do, any old bozo also knows. despite education

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if it makes you feel any better, i am jealous that you are an engineer and i am not. however, the world contains plenty of engineers. and maybe being a structural engineer has cons that i have not considered, b/c i do not have that experience. and maybe being long term unemployed has advantages that i have not noticed, b/c i failed to pay
attention.



(fine)

congratulations on your engineering awards. i am jealous. but whatever. who am i? i am nobody, and i am not important. so who cares if i am jealous?

it's better to have a job you are good at, than to not have a job altogether.

and i am 34, older than you.

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anyways, my guess of why you feel incomplete, would be: you, correctly or wrongly, think/feel, that precious little "most people" do/have/became something you want, but feel that you could never get.

like i feel like i could never have friendships. and that i will always be autistic and trans, instead of neurotypical and cisgender.

maybe autism related.

but, of course, you did not provide enough information to answer that question.