Speaking between the lines

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Hello, I have never posted here. I am formally diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome about 3 years ago. A short introduction, I love music, (making my own) espresso and music production.

It has been pretty scary for me recently as I have just turned 22 and am finally starting to understand what people are saying between the lines. And people use this to excess, for example my boss will say "are people keeping up with their cleaning duties?" to say that theres something I have forgot to clean. I have never understood this method of communication. Why doesn't she just say "could you clean the fridge today?".

Is it normal for people to constantly guess if a person is speaking in such a way or do people have a way of filtering different manners of communication? Me, Im always guessing and it can be extremely stressful to do so.

Good thoughts to all. Later.

Hey welcome
I agree with you on that one, I hate when people just guess or like say a phrase like u did, its like why don't u just say whats gotta be done, like whats with the rhetorical questions, I hate those, I never understand them either!

Welcome to the wonderful whacky world of NT behaviour where nothing is as it seems to be; where there lie traps and troubles with real consequences for all who cannot infer each and every arcane implication made by a bunch of numbskulls who cannot just come out and say what they mean.

At least half the time they don't know what they mean.

I assume it means is everyone working fast and not getting behind.

I often ask "What does that mean?" or "What do you mean by that?"

Thanks everyone.

Communication barrier? What do you mean by that?

Perhapsbecause I am, and my parents were, good readers I dontreallyhave troubles with that...I guess...

Welcome. Me too.

People say I don't know how to take a hint and they couldn't be more right. I really need people to say exactly what they mean.

It's very frustrating having to be around all these NT's all the time because they all understand the body language and secret hints and stuff.

And I just don't get it and as far as I know I never will get it because of the way my brain is wired. They think I'm weird and are starting to think i'm crazy.

I hate when people tell me to do something in such a roundabout way. I prefer somebody to just tell me what needs to be done. Better yet, I hope that I don't have to be in the position where somebody even needs to tell me to do something in the first place. It embarrasses me when I forget to do something.

I've learnt to deal with that. Just think that your boss has grammar problems and likes to use plural third person instead of singular second person.

I really hate it when NTs want to ask a favour. It always goes like this.

NT: Umm, can I ask you something?
Me: (thinking) You already did. (saying) What's that?
NT: I hope you don't mind...
Me: What do you want?
NT: I hope it doesn't bother you...
Me: SAY IT ALREADY!

Luckily it goes smoothly after that because I am renowned to be scary when I get angry. But I really hate it when people spend ages trying to be "smooth" instead of being direct about what they want.

Welcome to WP!

I have problems with that too, it's frustrating. Why don't they say exactly what they want to say?

The reverse of this is that they think you are rude when you say exactly what you mean. You're being bossy, harsh, abrasive. I've heard it all. When they do the hidden meanings with me, I confront them, but I don't blame them. I just tell them, I'm not going to get whatever you're trying to tell me so just say it. They usually do. I know they think I'm dense. Whatever. I don't have time to sit around and play guessing games about what they are trying to say. It's just a stupid game they play to avoid saying what they mean and it's cloaked in their favorite words "I was being polite." There's nothing polite about ambiguous. Most of the time, I don't even notice them understanding what they say. I just see a mass of constant confusion.

If I really want to know and can't get them to tell me, I ask dh. He knows all of that and thinks it's just as stupid as I do.

Funny you mention that Zannemarie, I called her just after she stopped in and said something to the extent of "please be upfront with me I don't read between the lines well".

Hope they don't think less of me.

There are actually lines that you speak between? Uh...is this like the lines on paper that are there to keep your handwriting neat?

No wonder why I cannot speak, I've got a pencil but no paper! I'm just writing in the air....

That's because NT's are balless wonders that are too afraid to be up front. Every aspie I've known that's faked being NT comes off as an even bigger balless wonder. Sorry if I may have offended people, but that's just my personal opinion.