I am worried

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Hello I am new and I don't think I will ever be able to have a relationship because of my autism.

relationships require ultimate cooperation, something there will be much difficulty with me. My autism makes me seem "off" or strange to NTs so they reguard me as unattractive even though I take care grooming myself to seem appealing to them.

I'm not really interested in other autistic people, I am sorry, normally I do not get along with my autistic counterparts IRL, so I would like to pursue an NT.
However I don't think it would be fair to give someone else the pressures of my autism, how if I have a child I would likely pass on my condition genetically, how I have meltdowns etc.

Why would a NT want me? I don't have much market value to offer. They could easily find one of the 99.7% of the female population without autism to date.

Is this a problem? How do you guys think I should pursue an NT? I have not developed any flirting skills.

The reason a person might want you depends on your personality and life goals. You don't really need to flirt; it's ok to simply ask people out if you are willing to do that.

You can be a bit "off" and still find someone, but it might be harder and take longer. You can increase your chances by hanging out in certain places and avoiding others.

Also decide if some of your "offness" is too socially unacceptable and work to change it. If you think your behavior is ok then just be confident in your "offness."

I think the idea of being "in" or "out" of a relationship is interesting. I know most people use the term to mean a romantic relationship, but the word itself doesn't really mean that. Conceptually I think this can be a helpful tool. I'll bet you have a non-romantic relationship with many people you interact with on a regular basis: your postman, a grocer, family members, online gaming friends, etc. By doing basic things like helping people when they need help, just listening to someone when they seem upset, or smiling at someone who looks familiar when you see them, you can get a really positive response from all kinds of people in these short non-romantic relationships with you. These positive experiences can be building blocks in the foundation of a romantic relationship too though.

I think what's most important about a romantic relationship is that both people enjoying the company of the other. This means that by practicing enjoying these little interactions, you can prepare yourself for life's biggest potential interaction: a romantic relationship. I speak from experience that a lot of romantic relationships to me sounded good from afar, but were stifling up close. It took a lot of adjustments. For me, thinking as a sequence of kind interactions broke these things down into a manageable feat.

Most importantly, don't count yourself out. You are a human being. Your feelings are real and are important, regardless of how they are perceived. You are both unique but have a lot of commonalities with people around you. I bet there are more people who enjoy interacting with you than you realize.

I like pasta, too.

I'm sure you'll find a nice guy soon.

How about a person who is not autistic but not an NT either? That might work in a relationship?

It's all a game for us LOL!

I posted on POF.com (free) that "I am the perfect man looking for the perfect woman. If I send you a "hi", that's an invitation and was ignored by every hot girl on the site for months!

Out of frustration, I finally found my NT by posting "Looking for the perfect woman to ask nothing from and give everything to... you're out there somewhere- find me" and it took three months for an ugly, abused, fat, opiod junkie of an NT to find me and accept me... it was all a joke for Aspies and she was put there for me to find LOL! And you all know she was the best woman they had on the site LOL! We've been together for four months, or 3,000 years, depending on how you look at it... last week she posted on my wall that we were now married and I replied? "Oh really? Again? This is like the 500th time we've done this over the millenia! Now we have to die and lose each other again dammit!" LOL and she understood!

I've been with my husband for 10 years. We met online when I was 15 and he was 16. We were online friends for months (I'm not sure how many) and I told him I was interested in him. No confusing flirting. I told him outright. He was interested in me, too.

So we established an online, long distance relationship. I was fat, and unattractive. Still am. I was depressed, weird, didn't have any friends, and was barely clinging to a normal school schedule. Still am. I didn't have any market value then, and I don't now, either.

However, he thought I was pretty, liked how I talked, and how I made him feel. My husband happens to find my autistic oddness cute, and conveniently enough, needs to feel needed. So when I have a meltdown, he feels fulfilled when he can help me.

So an NT would probably want you if they found you pretty, like how you talk/communicate, and like how you make them feel. You don't have to be conventionally beautiful, charismatic, or likable. You only need to find someone who likes you, and someone who's needs you can fulfill. This is my only relationship experience so it's all I have to offer you as far as advice goes.

I've been married for near 13 years now. Don't know how it happened, but there it is.

Don't worry too much about finding someone, that just ends up putting unnecessary pressure on yourself and you don't need that. It'll happen, but in the meantime do the things that make you happy.