Kiprobalhato wrote:
there is no life i know to compare with pure imagination.
Yeah those connectors get all misfired and I don't know wtf is going on so I fake it until I make it and I stay stoned to not bash my head against the wall. Got off weed and proceeded to bash head against wall but seroquel works a little. To me, you don't get to pick special interests, they pick you. I learned to relate to the word with gaming from that came computer skill and with weed came a very strange way to function but at least I was functioning. Seroquel does NOT remove the urge to want to bash my head but it does tranquilize me enough to not want to move to bash my head. I didn't wake up one day and say I think I want to do an illegal drug everyday, just nothing they gave me pacified me enough to not want to self harm like weed did and evidently I am not communicating a lot better off weed but meh. I would rather have some level of calm, I have been freaking out for months now off weed with connectors misfiring in all kinds of horrible possibilities so I don't feel my quality of life has improved off weed but Seroquel does give a "body" like high that makes me not act on urges but I would rather not have them to begin with

So I am very autistic,
Or I have an unknown mental illness,
I don't think I am schizophrenic though at least not in the traditional sense.