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"Hi! I'm new."

I've always realized I was different from other people, a "species of one" I figured. Just a quirk of personality, because I'm pretty strange.
INTP all the way-- "a Martian". Or perhaps a Vulcan. Never did fit in, anywhere, and afraid to try. People are weird, and very opaque.

But I recently happened to look into Asperger's because my nephew is diagnosed and I thought it might be easier to understand him. Several cousins and grand-nieces/nephews as well. Runs in the family, on Dad's side.

So I read some things online, and my jaw dropped.
Oh! How the hell did they know that?
Well, then.

I looked deeper and tried some of the better online tests, because I research things that catch my interest.
Call it an informal meta-analysis, of sorts.

AQ 39

EQ-SQ EQ 14 / SQ 73

The Aspie Quiz v4
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 126 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 85 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)

RAADS-R
Total score Language Soc Rel Sensory/motor Circumscribed interests
150.0 14.0 87.0 22.0 27.0

Aspie Test for Adults
"Score Obtained 1815 out of 2550 (71%)

They correlate pretty well, actually. There's some meat there, from a Bayesian perspective. Worth looking into, anyway.
Seems to be middle-of-the road Asperger's, heavier on the social side and lighter on the sensory/cognitive side.

But it's the questions that really got to me, not the scores. Spooky, how many were "written just for me". Like a quarter of them-- familiar ground, like looking in a mirror.

Um, so... now what do I do?

I'm 56, high functioning professionally, non-functioning socially.

I've been diagnosed with depression and GAD, then Bipolar 2, then treatment-resistant depression.
Medicated for a couple of decades, ECT too, to no avail.
But none of them ever asked me about my life-- too focused on the immediate symptoms, I guess.
And at this point I think depression is more of a symptom than a root cause.

For the last 10 years I've been doing reduced stress / balanced diet / exercise / enough sleep instead, which has helped more than meds ever did.

Just started with a counselor, who is trying to help with my social phobia and depression/anxiety.
She doesn't know much about ASD though, more of a "treat the symptoms" approach. Again.
Looking into getting a formal evaluation, though I'm not sure how valuable that would be at this point.

Any advice for a very old noob?

Thanks much,

Foozle

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome to WP!

Yes, I found the questions that came up in my assessment were like 'oh, you wrote this for me'.

A proper diagnoses is important if you don't know yourself. The biggest clue is interacting with other people on the spectrum ie on WP until you have an answer (you'll soon have a good idea of whether or where on the spectrum you are). If you're sure you are, I recommend getting counseling/help from someone who is experienced with people at all points on the spectrum, otherwise as you pointed out they are helping you with the symptoms.

You are absolutely right to be dealing with anxiety, this is the most important thing I have learnt since being on WP. I now prioritise it over everything else, and it has helped. I mean by that, long term anxiety.