Am I the only Aspie who's sensitive to tone of voice?

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Joe90
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25 May 2018, 11:07 am

This involves emotion too.

When I was a child I remember always being affected by the teacher's mood. If the teacher shouted at someone or the whole class, it made me feel anxious (I didn't show it), and if the teacher shouted at me (or talked to me in a negative sort of tone of voice) I often would cry, or as I got older I'd feel like crying.

I've always been the same. If the boss at work is in a bad mood, I can tell straight away, and I know not to say too much. In my old job I remember the boss shouted at me for a mistake I made, and her shouting just scared me. The louder someone's voice gets, the more uncomfortable I feel. Not only that, but the more 'intense' their tone of voice gets, I get uncomfortable. Intense meaning the tone of voice saying "I am having a go at you". So it doesn't necessarily have to be shouting. It's the emotion behind it that affects me.

Anyone else, or am I just an extremely rare Aspie?


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TheAP
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25 May 2018, 11:19 am

No. If my mom or someone else says something in a flat, unenthusiastic tone of voice, that bothers me, because it makes me think the person is mad or uninterested. It makes me flinch when my mom speaks in a harsh tone to my brother.



MissBigM
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25 May 2018, 11:27 am

Nope. I am sensitive to people with loud and high pitched voices. My stomache even starts to hurt from them.



kraftiekortie
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25 May 2018, 11:37 am

I’m pretty sensitive to tones of voice.



leahbear
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25 May 2018, 2:37 pm

Nope. My dad told me when I was little I would freak out if anyone raised their voice and I would try to make them stop. My boyfriend in university came from a very educated, intellectual family where it was normal to have heated, passionate discussions/arguments and when his voice would get excited I would shutdown. He learned to tone it down. Heck I even get worked up when I read the way some people interact on WP and have to take breaks from here.



B19
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25 May 2018, 7:57 pm

I listen to tone of voice even more than the words. It conveys a lot about the attitude of the speaker to any particular person or topic. I have hyperacusis and a lot of musical training, so identifying differences may be slightly easier for me.



Trogluddite
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25 May 2018, 8:28 pm

I can spot the changes of tone easily enough, but it can take me some time to work out the meaning of them, and I quite often don't manage it at all. I think I get the more extreme good or bad emotions right generally, but the way that I'm nearly always last to understand sarcastic jokes and the like tells me that I am probably much worse at the finer points. People who I've not heard speak much before are particularly tricky; I seem to need to relearn much of it for each new person.

Shouting, I just can't abide, as much for the loudness of it as anything else; it can make me cower even if it is not aimed at me or is quite distant. Adults yelling at children particularly makes me cringe.


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26 May 2018, 6:52 am

I experience very similarly to how you described it in the opening post.



skibum
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26 May 2018, 9:05 am

I have similar experiences as well. I don't think you are rare at all in this. I think it's pretty common for Aspies.


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shortfatbalduglyman
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26 May 2018, 4:28 pm

Relative to neurotypicals?



Exuvian
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26 May 2018, 5:11 pm

Many years ago in a class of mine the students were giggling, making commotion and ignoring the teacher. He finally got exasperated and shouted, "You people are so damn rude!". Part of the class ignored him, part of the class laughed at him and I had a feeling of being scared, nervous and cold.

I wondered if he was going to become physically violent and really wanted to escape. I noticed that a lot of times when teachers would yell other students didn't seem affected. I assumed it was just because I'm a wimp (and maybe it is).



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26 May 2018, 5:26 pm

I am very sensitive to tone of voice as well and I thought it arose from having to judge the mood of a parent, now I think it is just being aspie. I think NTs are not aware of their tones of voice. I just chaired a meeting in which one participant was loud, angry and defensive and after being unable to redirect her, I asked her to please lower her voice and she said "I AM NOT SHOUTING!" :D :D :D

After I finally learned that I am not the source or cause of other people's problems (or tones of voice) and now with more agency than I had as a child, I can deal with it more easily.


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Dear_one
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26 May 2018, 9:28 pm

I don't think tone insensitivity is common, but you might ask people who speak in a monotone about it.



NoClearMind53
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27 May 2018, 5:30 am

I’m sensitive to all nervous mannerisms. I have a really hard time even being around people who are verbally aggressive or just never seem calm. I start to feel sick.



shortfatbalduglyman
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27 May 2018, 3:19 pm

When I talk it is monotone



starcats
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27 May 2018, 6:16 pm

I'm the same way. I mostly understand what people mean through tone. If something is lacking in tone, I have a really hard time processing it. I can read most fiction just fine, non fiction is hard to get through. Someone retelling a story I can follow along with, an over rehearsed dry lecture, not at all. Whatever someone feels, I feel with them physically.

I seem to remember reading somewhere that the part of the brain that processes tone is more related to emotion than to cognitive thought.