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Sarahsmith
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23 Jun 2018, 5:27 pm

Recently I have been going out and doing more stuff. Im proud of that. But I would like to do more. Like get a boyfriend. Im afraid though that I might not be good enough. Someone here said to get over that fear try dating sites and get used to being rejected. Being rejected online isnt so bad but if it were to happen in real life I think it would be hard on me. It would make me question myself and become a little paranoid.

Ever since I caused nerve damage from a suicide attempt sometimes I s**t myself. It hasnt happend in a long time thank god but Im afraid of it happening again. It makes me afraid of being adventurouse. Id like to be more adventurouse but this is holding me back. Someone on here said they dont care if I s**t myself because Im only human. If only everyone thinked like that.

How do I stop being so afraid? How do I cut loose and become more adventurouse? I am easily hurt.



redbrick1
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23 Jun 2018, 5:33 pm

Have you lookes at cognitive behavioral therapy? It may help with some of the phobias. Everybody's different and you will be dating a lot of people to find that one person. But everyone, and I mean everyone goes through some sort of fear. Fear of rejection is quite real.



kraftiekortie
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23 Jun 2018, 5:35 pm

Just continue to pursue your interests and do things that you love.

So, even if you happen to be rejected, you have something to fall back on.

The more you are independent and can create your own pleasure, the less likely you will be rejected.



Sarahsmith
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23 Jun 2018, 5:38 pm

Thank you for the replies. Maybe I should work on myself for a while before dating.



TheSpectrum
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23 Jun 2018, 5:39 pm

As crazy as this sounds, have you considered making it a "fact about yourself" on a dating site? A sort of double bluff to make people laugh and let them know you have a sense of humor? I would include it with another obscure thing that isn't true, like you sing to chickens or hold some zany world record. Something to throw them off balance and actually not consider it properly. It would be so random people just wouldn't believe it, and they'd look past it.

But then, I might be giving some really awful (if unorthodox) advice. Actually don't follow it.

I hope you overcome this fear. You sound friendly.


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Sarahsmith
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23 Jun 2018, 5:43 pm

Im a bit frigid. I wonder if there is a cure for that. Maybe if I meet the right person.



kraftiekortie
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23 Jun 2018, 5:49 pm

Being “frigid” is sometimes good protection against having the wrong guy violate you.



TheSpectrum
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23 Jun 2018, 5:53 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Being “frigid” is sometimes good protection against having the wrong guy violate you.

Agreed!


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redbrick1
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23 Jun 2018, 6:05 pm

TheSpectrum wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Being “frigid” is sometimes good protection against having the wrong guy violate you.

Agreed!

But what about keeping the right guy from violating you?



TheSpectrum
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23 Jun 2018, 6:07 pm

redbrick1 wrote:
TheSpectrum wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Being “frigid” is sometimes good protection against having the wrong guy violate you.

Agreed!

But what about keeping the right guy from violating you?

Uh.. the right guy wouldn't do that.


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redbrick1
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23 Jun 2018, 6:09 pm

TheSpectrum wrote:
redbrick1 wrote:
TheSpectrum wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Being “frigid” is sometimes good protection against having the wrong guy violate you.

Agreed!

But what about keeping the right guy from violating you?

Uh.. the right guy wouldn't do that.

Depends you what you are into....



kraftiekortie
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23 Jun 2018, 6:10 pm

The right guy will not violate her.

The right guy is a decent guy.



TheSpectrum
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23 Jun 2018, 6:11 pm

redbrick1 wrote:
TheSpectrum wrote:
redbrick1 wrote:
TheSpectrum wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Being “frigid” is sometimes good protection against having the wrong guy violate you.

Agreed!

But what about keeping the right guy from violating you?

Uh.. the right guy wouldn't do that.

Depends you what you are into....

I know I'm not exactly the person to talk, but is this appropriate right now?


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redbrick1
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23 Jun 2018, 6:12 pm

TheSpectrum wrote:
redbrick1 wrote:
TheSpectrum wrote:
redbrick1 wrote:
TheSpectrum wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Being “frigid” is sometimes good protection against having the wrong guy violate you.

Agreed!

But what about keeping the right guy from violating you?

Uh.. the right guy wouldn't do that.

Depends you what you are into....

I know I'm not exactly the person to talk, but is this appropriate right now?

You took those responses seriously.. you're a funny guy



TheSpectrum
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23 Jun 2018, 6:14 pm

I get you're trying to be funny, but is it really tactful to be doing that here?


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LoneLoyalWolf
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23 Jun 2018, 8:12 pm

Like the other person, I don't care that you s**t yourself, not your fault and if someone blames you for that, it's their bad personality showing and they are not the type for you.

How to stop being so afraid? Acceptance is the only way. You are a beautiful person just like anyone else and deserve love just like every one of us.

There are guys out there who do not care about your problem, good guys, just be open and honest about it, humor works great with this as well and when that special guy comes along, you will know. But like anyone here can tell you, it takes time, don't go for just any guy, wait for the right one.

Wish you good luck and hope you can accept this problem soon and enjoy your life to the fullest.


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