why.... don't I care?

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My coworkers are always trying to talk to me and ask me questions about myself. I know they're just being nice, but I just don't care. Sometimes I'll pretend I didn't hear what someone said or say I thought they were talking to someone else, but I know it was me. I just feel no desire to put in the effort to talking to you. Why do neurotypicals always insist on being conversational? Strangers everywhere I go do the same thing! I honestly just don't care about what you're saying: you're not talking about things that matter. I'm glad to have conversation with people-- if they're going to bring up something interesting! I don't care about your weekend or your lunch break. I don't honestly even care what you were like in high school. I care about sharing experiences and knowledge. Feelings just fall so flat for me. Speech is such a hassle. If I had something important to say, I would say it? Why can we not just enjoy what is happening right now, rather than have to bring up things that aren't?
I try my best to engage people and make them feel good when they are engaging me, and most people think I'm dreamy or spacey or thoughtful, not rude. But I feel rude on the inside, because I honestly just don't want to be talking. I'm always railroading myself for other people's social benefit because otherwise I'm making them feel bad. Which is like... I DO care about how other people are feeling. I become incredibly volatile, sharp and well-spoken, filled with anger, and the desire to protect whenever anyone starts to infringe on another's humanity. We all FEEL things, and you should never be allowed to make someone feel like s**t just because you can't handle your own s**t. But I just DON'T CARE! I don't care about how people see me, and I often don't care about having friends. I don't know. I feel frustrated with social-ness, and that makes me feel alone? I guess I care about having friends who were just as non-social as me I guess. Why can't we just send cool facts and art and quotes back and forth?

I'm the same way, honestly. I'm not sure if it's because I don't care, it's just I find it kind of boring. People can talk all the time without really saying anything. I think people are just uncomfortable with silence or something.

In the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, there was this species that suddenly had the ability to read other people's thoughts, so, in order to see if they can prevent people from reading their thoughts, they would talk very loudly about the weather, or food, or noncontroversial topics. This kind of seems like it's true in real life, but who knows. Perhaps everyone else in the world can read minds except for me which would explain this behavior.

Honestly, I don't really like talking about myself either or care about what people do for a living because...I'm honestly not sure why. I feel like I'm more of an idea person so I like talking about those kinds of things with people but I think a lot of people don't have the time or mental energy to talk about that as much as I'd like to. And I think conversations like that are open to more disagreements...which is honestly kind of fine for me, but I kind of transitioned into a discussion like this with someone who made an assertion that I disagreed with and apparently I made her mad when I went further into the topic instead of changing the topic is something people would normally do, apparently.

But, honestly, just do anything different and people will think you hate everybody. Maybe a group of people wants to go out to eat but you decide to go home because maybe you're tired and didn't feel like doing anything else today. To the group, that means that person hates everybody. Or maybe you're reading a book instead of mingling with people at a group event because you don't feel like talking. That also means you hate everybody according to the group.

I'm not being paranoid either. When I was a part of some group conversations, they would talk about these people behind their back...and it doesn't make sense to me because I recognize that maybe they don't feel like talking all the time and prefer to do their own thing anyway.

Logic...

And for the person who decided to read a book instead of mingling...I've gotten to talk to him a couple of times and he's a really interesting person to talk to and I've had enjoyable conversations with him.

Small talk used to really bother me when I was younger. It doesnt now. Maybe Ive just gotten used to it. Its not that I hate talking its just that Im very bad at it. Ill admit it would be a hell of a lot more interesting, even relieving, if people talked about something that interests me.

Why don't you care?

Probably because you are more mature than they, and that your personal data is none of their damned business.

I don't like people I'm not really friends with asking me personal questions. In that particular regard, I know precisely what's the reason. Whenever people get to know about my private life they use whatever they found out to attack me, humiliate me and so on. Therefore, I am not the sort of very open a person.