Why is there so much sex in the gay world

Post Reply New Topic

One of things that i dislike most about being bisexual and attracted to men is how it seems to only be about sex. All the gay dating apps i have used is filled with people looking only to hook up. Then even on the profiles that say they are looking for friends get a look at you and your not their type they ignore you. So what happen to taking time and getting to know someone before jumping into bed or why does sex have to be any part of it at all?
This is the part i hate very much about the gay.
The other is at least the people i have run across usually on the same apps as the people looking just to hook up are couples looking for side fun. Like does monogamy mean nothing in the gay world and the married and couples who do this why did we as gay community fight so hard for gay marriage if we're not going to honor it the same way as a straight couple? What's the point of me saying I'm going to love honor and cherish someone for the rest of my life if on Saturday and going out and having sex with another partner? Is there such a thing as gay monogamy?
Because the thing I want most and in the gay world is he committed loving partner someone who is as committed to me as I am to him. Regardless of bedroom performances it's not about sex but it's about love and commitment that we have for each other. I want one straight married couple I know has commitment to each other I mean that particular relationship the man has had his prostate removed so alone time isn't happening anymore and she had a stroke and forgot it's important parts of a relationship and yet they're still together and still love each other. Does that not exist in the gay world? When neither one is looking outside of the relationship they are satisfied with each other in the relationship they have Concepts in my own Meandering through the gay world seem to almost be lost on most gay people. Why is it we is gay people prefer sex Above All Else?

Good question. I've pondered that myself, and I guess it's for that reason I remain single. I couldn't stand to have someone cheat on me.

I'm guessing that the gay world is a lot bigger than your dating apps, and you are overgeneralizing.

It’s hard finding a great guy. But, I think at least four of us so far saying we’re seeking a boyfriend in a classic type of relationship shows that we’re out there.

Advice though- stay away from grindr.

I’ve had more success going on dates with guys interested in personality over just sex on tinder.

The "gay world" sounds like the fulminations of... somebody religious.

at least here, the stereotypes with lesbians are the very opposite: they tend to get into serious romantic relationship quite fast... but with gay man, they are strongly associated with parties and one night stands. as an stereotype, it obviously have some share of truth but it's an exaggeration of reality. i'm pretty sure you will manage to find people with a similar mind and desire for connection. maybe try online dating in non-gay-specific apps?

when i went to live abroad, i shared house for a month with three gay guys. it was so weird for me how in our first week living there they were already bringing guys to our house. and they were so open about it, and it was mostly have sex and goodbye. at some point, one of them found a boyfriend and had a monogamous relationship for a few months. they broke up and he seemed so fine with it (maybe because we weren't so close for him to open about his feelings?). i always found funny and slightly uncomfortable how open they were about their sex life around me.

Uh, because guys are horny & have sex for pleasure vs. procreation? Could be that. There's also some social phenomenon at play with gay guys.. I remember reading an article that basically said casual sex is the social currency of the gay dating world. Guys that can easily get laid tend to have a higher social status vs. guys that can't. It seems being able to connect & hookup with others is a bit like being able to make more money and be the alpha provider in a stereotypical heterosexual relationship. So, could be that, too.. guys hooking up to "prove their worth," even if just to themselves, ie to feel better about themselves because they were able to hookup with someone out of their league, or with x # of someones.

I'd say that, in general, MOST gay guys are.. promiscuous. However, that doesn't mean that ALL gay guys are. There are plenty that are only into dating/long term relationships - even on the apps. I know many partnered gay couples, and some married ones, too.

If you're logging into a hookup app, then you're going to find the guys that are into the hookup scene, pure and simple. But dating & LTR oriented gays exist. Chat with people who are interested in chatting/going on a date.. filter out the ones that are looking for hookups. Hell, put "No hookups, that's not what I'm here for." right in your profile.

_________________
No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

Take the first two paragraphs of goldfish21's post, tweak it just a little, and you have an apt description of the hetero male PUA culture.

While men seem to have sex more for pleasure than for procreation, women seem to more inclined toward establishing relationships. It would then seem that the "gay community" would have a lot of promiscuity and short-term hook-ups, the "lesbian community" would have a lot of long-term relationships, and the "hetero community" would be somewhere between the two extremes.

Ah, but what do I know? I'm just another gynotropic cis-male.

I think the reason gay men tend to be so hypersexual is because it's guys sleeping with other guys. I mean I've always heard that men tend to crave sex more than women so when two horny guys get together to have sex it's almost like a dream come true. You get to be with a partner who really wants the sex as much as you do.

But then again I'm a virgin with no experience when it comes to dating men so I might be stereotyping a bit. All I really know about gay men is what I've seen on TV and in porn videos.

wouldn't you, if you could?

have all the gay sex in the world.