Eye Contact Is Stupid People Who Demand It Are Selfish

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of course I posted this in /r/unpopular opinions and was ridiculed as usual.

In asian, south american, african, and middle eastern cultures eye contact is a sign of aggression https://blog.joytours.com/2012/12/20/th ... -cultures/. which totally makes sense. have you ever watched two male cats fight? they stare directly into eachother's eyes yowling, scratching, and biting eachother! also with dogs don't give them eye contact because it is seen as a challenge to a fight.
i am sick of being seen as weird because I refuse to give others eye contact. f**k people call me out on it too.
One man even REFUSED to hire me to cut his grass JUST because I would not give him eye contact and he told me I was "not genuine" to him.

i came to cut his f*****g grass NOT do an interview!
to me it seems aggressive and selfish to be honest. like eye contact is some validation. i also hate when people DEMAND it. its just seems aggressive and ignores my WORDS AND SKILLS! but focuses on some stupid arbitrary mannerism that is ONLY practiced in the west.
it's like saying: "truck1214 pay attention to me! pay attention to me! look at me! look at me! i'm special! Hey truck1214! are you paying attention to me? huh? huh?" "your not paying attention to me!" "pay attention to me!" "pay attention to me!" "look at me" "look at me!"
look no one cares about you! you are not a special snow flake! their are 7billion f*****g people in this world who popped out of their moms snatch just like you and me! you are really not unique!
look sometimes I am NOT nervous rather when I think I sometimes look down or away.
plus if someone is being aggressive towards me I LOOK AWAY because when male cats who don't want to fight want to bail they LOOK away from aggression. it biologically makes sense in every way. it is ludacris that aggressive people DEMAND you look at them ie if your boss is yelling at you they say "look at me"

-discuss

You are so right!! !
Eye contact is overrated.
I usually give them their much needed eye contact, many times to my discomfort. Not looking to a stimulating source of input (in this case this means not looking at the eyes) gives me a boost in brain capacity! I find it easier to think, speak, process information...
My peripheral vision is also very strong. One of my past special interests was martial arts, and when fighting (during training) I never focused my gaze on the other persons face. It made me more aware of my surroundings, and I didn't give away with my eyes where I would attack next.
NTs should really learn that you don't need to look at something directly to perceive it! Maybe this strong peripheral vision is why autistic people's eye contact is often perceived as indirect, shifty...?

Oh,

You can continue to fail to get even lawn-mowing jobs, or you can learn the interpersonal skills that lead to success.

It's entirely your choice.

Bea, I agree with you that there's an abundance of youthful fervor, angst and frustration going on here that may be preventing him from seeing the "big picture".

I will say, however, male to male eye contact for me is different than when I look at women while conversing with them. There is a primal undercurrent I feel when talking with men I'm not close to if the eye contact seems to be sustained longer than I think it should on their part.

It's hard to explain, but men who stare or want to make prolonged eye contact trigger feelings (albeit deep seeded feelings) of aggression. Perhaps it's an evolutionary hold-over, but it's like a mental equivalent of feeling my upper lip start to curl in a snarl. Of course it's not overt and it's a mental, but it's a fact. So, I think for men, having another man make too much eye contact is perceived as a challenge to the recipient male.

From an instinctual perspective those feelings seem logical to me. If I was going to fight someone, would I look away from them? Most certainly not. Exactly the opposite......

OK, I apologize for saying "grow up."

I recommend those for whom eye contact is difficult should perhaps play staring games with cats. (or other animals) It might mimic the deep-seated unconscious animalistic confrontation that evidently men get when staring each other in the eye. Eventually you can get quite good at it. Then try it on humans with whom your relationship is secure, finally moving on to situations where you feel less secure.

There are ways to get out of an uncomfortable staring match (unless it is involving a tiger). You could smile and change the subject, ask "Do you agree?", or look off to the side. Looking down is submissive, but looking at something else on the same line as the person's eyes should not convey that. You might also try making lots of eye contact (say, in an interview) but not in one solid block - looking back at the other person, then off to one side, then back, etc.

However, understand that you are never going to change the expectation that the NT majority population has for eye contact during introductions, interviews, etc.

from my understanding, humans and cats have very little in common.

In North American and similar cultures, eye contact is extremely important and mastering this skill can significantly improve someone's life. I suggest starting with making eye contact with photos.

Just look a people’s noses to fake eye contact.

I dislike eye contact with passing strangers.

But when I'm talking with people, eye contact comes naturally. If nobody looked at each other ever, how would you know what people truly look like or see their emotions in the eyes? How weird would it be to, say, be married for 10 years but have never actually looked at each other in the eye before.

Sorry if this post isn't the right sort of respond to what's written in the OP, it was too long with poor punctuation so I couldn't focus on reading all the way through.