Getting through a shutdown

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streetrodder
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29 Mar 2019, 1:33 pm

Hi all,

Had an issue today, and am not sure if there are any tactics to shorten the time to 'recover'

My wife is bi-polar and running a bit manic today. One of those symptoms is that she talks a lot and
real fast, jumping from topic to topic. At the best of times, I can't process what she's saying; often it feels like a
verbal assault. We were driving to the CPA to get the taxes and she started going. I'm trying to focus on safe driving
(a challenge in St. Louis). She was going at it verbally. I ended up retreating and trying to just focus on driving.
So now, I'm mostly non-verbal. I should start talking more bit by bit, as something draws me out (usually Jeopardy)

Does anyone else have this happen? If so, can you quicken the verbal recovery, and how?

thanks, Paul



serpentari
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29 Mar 2019, 3:52 pm

hey. i had been having a lot of mute episodes, which are decreasing a lot now. mostly it happens because of my cptsd triggering. i have a custom solution, that might not help u, but - i get back out of it with help of a few very close people, each of which have their own methodes of dealing with it for me. what is general, consideration and care. being understood and accounted for. effort they put into it. and it bulks into my overall recovery. we have precoded signals for me to communicate with during mute strikes, too. at least, u are capable of typing. so u can use that to communicate to somebody. in full mute (or kindly called by friends, non-verbal) mode, i cant type either. pre-coded signals, pictures, music with right lyrics. i suppose, when ur wife's mode changes, she'd be willing to help u. if it did not allready change in response to ur state. or i could try to help u, if that works


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streetrodder
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Location: St. Louis

29 Mar 2019, 9:35 pm

Thanks for your experience. Perhaps an arranged signal to my wife will help mitigate the onset. The longer the over-stimulus goes on, the longer the shutdown. I'm able to partially function through it, for non-verbal actions (driving) and minimal verbal (needed for signing papers).

I'll try to talk about it with her. Today, the thought of talking with her stoked the fear of recurrence.



Magna
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29 Mar 2019, 9:41 pm

Shutdowns have to run their course with me. There's no magic fix. I agree with you that it would be best to preemptively try to mitigate their onset.



BeaArthur
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31 Mar 2019, 11:08 am

My husband is fond of making stupid jokes, juvenile body-parts jokes, and lots and lots of puns. It's just his brain showing logorrhea.

I do all the driving since he had to give it up due to old age. I have had a long discussion with him about the need to concentrate on the road, and he is not permitted to joke at me while I am driving.

Of course he doesn't always observe that, but the four words "Not while I'm driving" are usually enough to remind him of the restriction.

I don't have any tips for getting through your shutdown. My tip is to avoid coming to that place by eliminating the trigger. You can't do this for everything, but you can do it while driving with your wife. Just explain your needs and be prepared to remind her when she forgets, as she inevitably will, often multiple times in the same trip.


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