teasing from older woman?

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I'm 58, and have AS or HFA. I have a friend named L who is older (83).

At times, she says things that sound mean spirited. A long time ago, when I was having a bad day, she says "how can you have a bad day on a beautiful weather day like this, unless you are picking a fight with your husband?". I had given her no indication there was anything wrong between my husband and I, this just came out of the blue. She also said once "It's a shame you don't use your Spanish (I'm bilingual) more."

I'm feeling confused by all this. This same woman tends to gossip and talk about other people in the church too, and focuses a lot on negative topics. She also tends to preach at me and quote bible passages a lot.

I was teased and bullied mercilessly as a child, so it's very difficult for me to know if someone is really joking, or being mean, and then disguising it as a joke.

Here is what happened most recently. The other day, we were supposed to go out to lunch with a mutual friend of ours. I called L to let her know which restaurant. But then, I had to call her back 10 minutes later because the time changed. She answered the phone saying in an angry tone of voice "what now??". I said "are you mad because I called you twice in a short period of time?" She says "I'm just joking you should know me by now.". I ended up laughing a fake laugh, but in truth, I felt uncomfortable with her behavior. I wish I had had the guts to tell her that she didn't sounds like she was joking, she sounded mad.

Does this sound like playful or malicious teasing? What would you all do with a situation like this?

I'd probably just let it slide, since she's 83. My dad is 84 and is starting to have some cognitive problems and impaired judgement, and sometimes just says whatever is on his mind to people, even if it's really inappropriate. Confronting him about it just makes him get defensive. But since you say your friend is gossipy and negative too, it might be a matter of how much you are willing to put up with in order to keep the friendship.

Yes I'm just going to distance myself from her. Not cut her off completely, but limit my time with her. I'm going through drug withdrawal (antidepressant) and my nervous system is very raw and sensitive from that. Thanks for the reply.

That's the plan I would chose. I'm sorry about your antidepressant withdrawal, I hope it gets better real soon.

Thank you. My nervous system is already very sensitive and easily overwhelmed, so the antidepressant withdrawal just compounds that. I'm coping by just keeping a very low profile, and only doing the basic functions needed to survive. I Found the antidepressants made me fat, very forgetful, and dulled my cognitive abilities. I can tell my mind is sharper already. I think this will be best in the long run, as the circumstances of my life have improved drastically lately, so I no longer need the antidepressant.