LGBT Bashing

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First of all, I identify myself as "straight", but just because I know a few people at my school who are LGBT it does not mean I'll become gay, bisexual, or begin identifying myself as transgender.

Many times, my mom (who takes strong pride in being an LGBT-phobe) has accused me of being gay for many reasons such as (but not limited to):

-Watching movies or TV shows that feature LGBT characters.

-Having LGBT friends.

-Allowing an openly gay man to guide me through life during my high school years. (In fact, he was the school counselor, so he had every right to do so.)

-Not conforming to roles and stereotypes associated with being male.

If you identify yourself as straight, have you ever had this problem? It's very annoying and as much as I want to tell off my mom, it could set her off even more.

I have suffered the same false rumors without having any friends in the LGBT community. Oddly, the only gay guy I knew was a close friend of my brother who suddenly became openly gay in his 20s. My straight brother did not know he was gay before this. I suppose mostly they didn't understand that I was an aspie and tried to explain my oddness this way. Once a female family member started discussing my orientation with other family members and my mother heard about it and went ballistic.

Oh yeah. I understand this. I'm almost 60 years old, straight, and was always comfortable with the LGBT population because they were other people who more often than not were in pain. Have you ever looked into a human being eyes after you give them acceptance and understanding and aren't the same as them? Much of the world is quick to label you when you do this. People I worked with shoved me into a closet and shut the door because I was accepting of the LGBT movement. Did ya get the irony? It got around. I was the given the opportunity to sue them but I didn't. Now, they all kiss my *ss.

I am most comfortable with cis-women, whether straight or "L, B, or Q". Yet I often find myself having fun with cis-men who happen to be "G". This may be bigotted, but I think people on that particular spectrum are more fun to be around than a buncha old, fuddy-duddy straight people.

I had a lot of experience with this, terrified of being labelled gay myself, as it was used as a pretty common insult to me in my youth where I was bullied. Made me a little funny around people who may have been gay, and although never quite homophobic myself, made me super worried over what people could call me if I watched or interacted with something too "gay".

Until more recently where I have accepted identifying as non binary. And at least the I have identified that although I have been pretty sure that I am straight, I might have had limited bisexual attraction as an explanation for why I was so worried. A friend once criticised me for having my high school crush because apparently she looked like a boy or something, which I think created some sort of complex despite recognizing what might be my type.

I am "straight" and cis-gendered, still I would not take that personally, in fact I would be honored. Assuming my life is not at stake, I would dive into my "accuser's" insecurity by asking why she is upset about this, how would she feel if I had a same-gendered or trans partner, what aspects of herself are cross-gendered or when has she considered attraction to the same sex? I would put the discomfort firmly on her head. We stand by LGBT and ourselves by not being ashamed for ourselves or on others' behalf. Be proud to be "accused" of being LGBT.

It would be weird if my friends' parents start accusing them of being ASD b/c they are friendly with me, and if my friends screamed back "how dare you! I am not!" That would be sad. My friends are ND enough or otherwise "open" that they can relate to me sufficiently. That makes them MORE wonderful, not less. Just as we are MORE wonderful, not less for accepting others' differences.

So the next time she says "you're gay!" say "although you are factually incorrect, I will say thank you that you notice my open and understanding way of being".

And I prefer myself as 'gynosexual' (romantically attracted to girls/women).

Another term for this is "gynotropic".

Other terms I have heard:

atropic - no attraction (implies asexuality)
ambitropic - equal attraction (implies bisexuality)
androtropic - attracted to men/males
gynotropic - attracted to women/females
omnitropic - attracted to everyone (implies pansexuality)

agendrous - does not identify with any gender, regardless of physical condition
bigendrous - physically male and female (implies hermaphroditism, and is easier to spell)
cisgender - physically unchanged since birth (implies one physical gender)
nongendrous - does not develop or display physical features of either sex (implies neuter)
transgender - emotionally/mentally/physically altered from birth gender

My friend group is mostly composed of bisexual women and straight men. However, I get on with any group so long as I get on with the individual in question. Unfortunately, I have had to deal with some unpleasant parents and general backlash due to my friendships with straight men. I tend to prefer making friends with guys who are in a relationship. Otherwise I usually have to deal with "why won't you date my son? He's not that bad, give him a chance", "you could always try dating men", "wait, you're not dating each other? You're gay? I don't believe that" and "you two have great chemistry".

I sometimes wish I were straight or bisexual since I'm apparently great at unintentionally flirting with men and making friends with them. Plus it'd be nice to believed and not have to deal with but you're too feminine looking remarks. I'd probably have an easier time if I were straight. Usually I go between phases of I wish I had a girlfriend and I wish I were straight instead.

Most of the time I am assumed straight; however I do meet people who assume that I'm gay from the get go. Whenever people do, it tends to take me by surprise. I am openly gay but it doesn't usually come up much.

My NT sister identifies herself as asexual, but whenever our uncles visit out of the blue (they never call ahead of time, which annoys us very much) they always ask her: "So, have you found a man to be with?"

Then they both ask me, "So, have you found a pretty girl to be with?"

Our love lives are none of their concerns, but a few times one of them threw an insult at my NT sister by telling her, "Well, if you will continue refusing to find yourself a man to be with, then you will never be happy for the rest of your days!"

They laughed at her and threw a similar insult at me by saying: "Well, if you can't find yourself a pretty girl to be with, then you will always be viewed as weak because the first thing a man should always get is a pretty lady."

Both uncles both believe looks are always the most important factor in a relationship, not personality.

That sounds like a very frustrating experience. I’m sorry it happened to you.

I don’t remember anyone using a LGBT-phobic term to insult me in person since I was maybe 13 or 14. I guess the combination of not being around people much and generally society accepting that homophobia is wrong (or at least bad optics) has led to that.

It's okay. In fact, the next time both uncles visit, my NT sister and I are going
to make sure we stay out of the house.

Watching LGBT movies/TV shows, having LGBT friends and all of the other things you describe most certainly don't mean one is Gay. Have you considered moving somewhere else?

For most of my young adult life during the 80s and 90s, people tried to guess my sexuality. People guessed 'gay' a lot. I think it was the default answer to the underlying question, 'Well, if he ain't one of us, then he must be gay.'

When I spent six years share housing with goths and gays, even the gays shared their alcohol on the assumption that I was gay.

And the gay clubs I got drunk in, the gay furry porn comic (Lobbo) that I enjoy, walking in the Pride Parade each year, my four sexiest men list (Jason Momoa, Freddie Mercury, Morgan Freeman, and Grace Jones), could all add to the case for me being gay.

But I'm not.

I quit my third year of bible college back in 89 when I realised that I couldn't accept their core doctrines any more, including their attitudes towards gays. Two thirds of my cake decorating teachers were gay, and a couple of my house mates were as well. I liked drinking in Irish, Goth and gay bars. I just didn't like the usual straight white worker bars.

I march in Pride March each year with the PFLAG contingent. I was forever being bullied in school, and I like the PFLAG ideal of offering support until it's no longer needed.

I don't differentiate based on sexual orientation or gender identity or whatever. My only standard is 'adult + consensual.

I judge based on a person's ideology and actions.

I view myself as cisgender male, 97% straight, married with kids, who waited until I was in my 30s to engage in dating.

A couple of summers ago, I decided to go to the mall, by myself. Some redneck looked at me and said, "I'm not walking past that R-word....I'm Transphobic!"

I am Trans by the way and proud of it.

My father once asked me if I was gay because I was having trouble finding a girlfriend.

I can only see myself being romantic with a woman. And it’s been that way since before kindergarten.