I guess I’m just unlucky. I’m too old.

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Hi everyone, it’s been quite a while since I came to WrongPlanet, so you’ll have to excuse me. I need to get this off my chest.

I originally came out on this site, to gather some insight into the fact that when you’re aspie and gay, the rules are completely different. (Vis-a-vis hugging, meeting, etc...)
I actually got a few responses from some people telling me how I deserved the shabby treatment I got, because what I had done was against the will of God.

There was one dating thread, for everyone.

And now, I come back years later and there’s a whole FORUM dedicated to being LGBTQ.

...but not for me, of course, because look at me. I’m old, I’m past it. I’m over that magical age of 25, where nobody wants to talk to you or even look at you. Well, apart from the 45 Grindr people who look at your profile, but don’t actually say anything.

I feel like I missed out, and I don’t know how to get back in. I have yet to meet anyone in my sizeable city who is even born in the same DECADE. I don’t feel like accepting it, putting on a sweater vest, and staying home with a bunch of cats. I want to get out there and connect.

Any thoughts? Where the hell are all the xennials?

I am 39, but I'm not a guy. If by "get out there" you mean "meet people in person," then you could ask around town or look online for nearby gay venues or gay night at other venues.

Dating apps seem like a bad idea for lots of people. Dating websites seem like they would be better than apps. There are also one or two autism-related dating sites. I don't know if there are many people on them though. spectrumsingles.com is one.

If it's safe in your area, you could wear some kind of gay-themed T-shirt or discreet rainbow gear to motivate the right people to approach you.

There are probably also some gay magazines you can use to learn about gatherings or even get penpals and such. Also gay groups on Meetup.com

I know the feeling of being to old when you get older it is that people that are silver foxes don’t go out much and some have house boys ECT you now people like that some groups are ok if you have a hobby or passion get into it meet people who are into the same things as you and you will have fun and meet people in your own age and you will have a conversation starter in Phoenix there’s a group called baby boomers and beyond most people in my age group are about to retire and want travel ect. As for me I live in assisted living because of complications from heart surgery you sound like a nice person get out and go for it and live

Its all relative - and really something that exists in your head. You can change what you infer and what your evaluation is of how you are.

To me 40 is still young. At 60 I sometimes feel old but not always, my 80 year old Aunt sees me as being young.

With the usual caveats, the internet is a great tool for connecting to others - that can be a good start especially in these restricted times.

The gay male community, sadly is very ageist. I had to learn this s**t the hard way. It seems it's a very youth orientated media liaison.

Although to be honest, I'd think you have more issues being on the spectrum, than your age. The reason I say this, is because that's going to be more of a deciding factor than your age. Yes the gay male community is ageist, but older gay men still make an effort to circulate and brand themselves. Gay men with autism, and older gay men with autism, heaven help us. So it's just more difficult.

Just hold on though, things will get better.

brings to mind , the Simon &Garfunkel Song , That Speaks about " Time "
" The Sounds of Silence"
Men become distinguished as they age .. Women , Society appears to say , Just get Old .
You have my sympathies ..... As one of the tale end of the boomer generation .
SIGH ...

Are you talking about personal experience? The info under your avatar says you are 28 years old.

This is true, at my age I don't even consider dating guys, besides the fact I'm going through a divorce. I knew guys my age when I was 24, and they didn't want guys their own age. I hooked up with them because I did not have any friends, another symptom of ASD? They for sure wanted to be my friend, it was all about the body-oddy-oddy. Actually the tone of the skin, how nice and tight it is on the bones. When we get old, that flesh gets loose, wrinkly like old leather...

However, you need to ask yourself why you feel this desire to hook up. I've hooked up in my younger days and it is no big deal. There are a lot of downsides, like drama, b.s., risk of disease, risk of getting ripped off. So one 60 year old guy I know, found himself a boy toy of 25 or so, and had himself a houseboy. He wound up getting ripped off big time, lots of money lost. That is how it is, if you do score a young one, they are going to size you up for $$$, how much are you worth?

That is how people are, I found out. They want your money, or if you're attractive, maybe your body. They may need you to salve their fragile ego. Any which way you cut it, you will get used. Is it really worth all that for a little bit of fun in the bedroom that you could just as easily get from the efficient and highly effective porn industry?

Age is what you make of it. I look better now than I did when I was 24. I feel better too honestly.

You have to have a sense of dark humor about age. We all grow old and die.

That may be so--looking better, particularly if you are taking better care of yourself.