Very Confused

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So I am 16 (almost 17) female, and I've been questioning my sexuality quite a bit recently. I've always 100% been into guys and confidently called myself straight for 15-16ish years, but recently, I've been finding my interests about 55% men and 45% women now (sexually), but emotionally, I've never had an emotional romantic connection with a real-life woman before. Its kinda hard in quarantine to test whether or not im into real women emotionally. As for fictional women, i've got a thing for them (but still not as much as i do for guys).

I mean, at this point, I could call myself bisexual, but its been so thrown around lately, I've heard that a lot of people (especially young women) do this for attention. I know people who've done it for attention personally. I'm afraid that people will look at me and think that I'm an attention seeker, even though I actually mean it. I also live in a small rural midwest town, and even though we have a GSA at our school, theres only a couple of people in it and a lot of other people are religious. I don't necessairly feel unsafe, rather just outcast. Also, my stepdad's side of the family is REALLY rural, living in a really small heavy religious town with a bit of a "Family" pecking order (Some families rank higher than others) and if they found out about this, the best case scenario would be them being confused and claiming its a phase and worst case being throwing insults and refusing to keep contact. As for the other two family sides (biological dad's and mom's), I can see them acting civil (although not necessairly supportive).

Last worry, I'm worried that I'll never find a person who would be as into video games/star wars/food/birds/art as me. Some neurotypicals don't have very exciting hobbies (I hate it when people tell me their only hobby is looking at social media). I don't know how they find joy in doing something extremely simple and shallow for 5 minutes and be satisfied for the day in terms of fun?


I don't know what to do, I don't know if I could even be considered bi without the consistent emotional connection, what should I do if I do come out, how do I find people like me?

I think that you should be proud for writing this. That you are comfortable enough to look at yourself like that.

I probably cannot give you a perfect prescription of what to do, and I myself am new to a lot of things. But if you feel like you are bisexual like you are saying that you are, then I think that you are. I think maybe you should be aware that I am pretty sure there can be a difference between bisexual and biromantic, one being a sexual attraction while the other is romantic attraction. I am pretty sure that you can find other people online who can recount similar feelings of being bisexual, but not biromantic.

https://www.reddit.com/r/bisexual/comments/aki5oj/bisexual_but_not_biromantic_can_i_still_call/

You are still pretty young, so I don't think that you should be too worried if you are finding most people around your age not sharing your interests, especially if you are mostly constrained to a small town with some sort of family hierarchy. There should be plenty of ways for you to eventually find people who share some of your interests.

About your poll, I won't try and force you to do anything that you are not read for it. Although, maybe if something relevant pops up, like someone asks you, you should not be afraid to say how you do feel like you are. Call yourself bi in the spaces that you feel comfortable to do so, but it is no one's business if you don't want it to be.

If you think you might be bi, then you're probably bi. In any case it's a possibility worth exploring. As someone who is bi/pan I've noticed for a lot of us there isn't always an equal sexual or romantic attraction to the same or other genders. I've always found it easier to connect romantically with women, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't be open to or enjoy romance with a man or nonbinary person. I thought I was straight for a while because of this, but having preference doesn't mean you can't be bi. In my experience a lot of my preference for the other sex came from me feeling pressured to not explore those feelings more, so that might be something useful to keep in mind.
If you're worried that you might be doing it for attention, then you're definitely not doing it for attention. Given your situation you might want to hold off on coming out to your family. I was fortunate enough to have understanding parents but you shouldn't tell them unless/until you feel comfortable. Do you have friends who know about this? Either where you live or on the internet? It can be easier to come out to friends than family.
As for worrying about finding people who share your interests, I wouldn't worry too much. Even if you live in a small town it's possible to find like-minded people your age. I find that a lot of neurodivergent people are more accepting of different sexual identities and orientations, both in themselves and others. A lot of them are also huge nerds so no worry on that front.

I vote that you not come out until you feel ready. Regardless of your choice, these feelings are still worth exploring, and you should understand that identity isn't always clearcut or unchanging. Preferences can change over time, and as we explore these feelings, we might find that our preferences change when we examine ourselves from a new perspective. Just take your time and do things at your own pace, and try to be honest with yourself.

be true to you.

When you know who you really are regarding your sexuality, then you will know.

I considered myself mostly straight in my teen years but my same-sex attractions increased gradually into my early 20s, until they were equally strong. I've been openly bisexual since then. If you had told 13 year old me that my longest relationship would be with another guy, I'd never have believed it.

If you're not sure you can always wait. You're still young and there's plenty time to figure things out.