Am I going crazy?

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I have been diagnosed with ADHD as early as I can remember. I have had behavioral therapy to help control impulses, took mess to help with my hyperactivity. But there is something elsenlingering with it and I don't like it. I have always had problems with sitting still, but sometimes I just get this random burst of energy. A tingling sensation in my body. It just feels like I can do anything. Run a ultra-marathon even. I am quite impulsive when this happens. Like I make stupid risky decisions that could have easily been avoided. Like darting through traffic to cross. Or try to catch unknown snakes and what not. This feeling doesn't last too long maybe just a couple of hours. I feel ok, until I get real irritable at everything. I don't even know why. I start getting ticked off, then I go to feeling hopeless and tired. It is just like a switch flipped in me. Sometimes I feel both of these at the same time. I have to say it is a strange feeling being extremely energetic but tired and hopeless at the same time. I don't know what is wrong with me or if I'm going crazy.

I will let others reply as I am not exactly sure.

Last edited by Mountain Goat on 22 Oct 2020, 2:47 am, edited 1 time in total.

anyone who is sane should be crazy right now...

Because what the f**k is going on...ahhhh, like what is this.

Sounds like very short manic episodes or mixed affective state.
If you don't fear medication, you could try mood stabilizers like lithium.
Well, it is a thing for psychiatric treatment but as you are fully aware of the disturbance, you are likely to get it under control and live a healthy life. Just don't let the psychiatrist sweep you under the carpet with wrong medication - you have to adjust the medication so you feel and function much better.

One thought I just got: Maybe, before psychiatric treatment, exercise would help?
I have an acquaintance with severe ADHD who copes with sudden bursts of energy by increasing his physical effort.

One can definitely go crazy from trying to contain too much impulses and you say you're in behavioral therapy for ADHD. That may be improving your functioning at the cost of your mental health
Maybe instead of containing your ADHD, you need to channel it. Training some sports you like may be a solution.

I would see a doctor, but I get real anxious around them. They scare me. I know a 17 year old shouldn't be scared of going to the doctors, but let me explain. Doctors have so much power nowadays (even before Covid-19). If you tick them off you might as well write your will. They can just prescribe you meds (I "know they listen") that is not very reassuring to me. If the meds don't feel right they can say wait at least a month (this is torture). When something doesn't feel right waiting a month before it can change, nope I can't. When a doctor asks me a question you can just see the fear on my face [ Side Note ( Parents have confronted me before about it. I told them how doctors make me feel. They agreed to sit with me in the doctors office. I am about to be 18 and on my own. I'm still terrified of doctors and don't plan on going to any when I move out.)]. I usually am moving constantly no matter the question they ask. You could always hear the fear in my voice. Maybe I'm just scared of the doctors office. The smell, graphic yet educational posters, their notepad, the list goes on. Sorry it kinda feels like I'm just rambling now. But no way am I going to the doctor.

I assure you there are WP members much older than you who feel very uncomfortable in doctors' offices. They aren't really friendly places.
Also, a doctor's incompetence can be extremely harmful and I have experienced it during my misdiagnosis. There is nothing irrational in your fear.

Physical exercise is a route that may help and it has much less potential to damage you, so I would recommend trying sports first. Some people I know - including close friends and family members - need regular physical training to maintain their sanity.

Exercise helps in *so* many situations.

I was diagnosed with adhd as a toddler and as far as i can tell i have it pretty severely. I too feel the sort of tingling sensation. I believe sudden mood changes are a symptom of adhd but i'm not sure. You are not going crazy. I'd also like to point out that you can learn to master these impulses and the hyperactive state I guess. The mood changes are a different issue and in my experience there isn't much you can do besides just suffer through it and not let it impact your life. I've also taken adhd meds most of my life. Unfortunately adhd medicine doesn't always work. Learning to control yourself regardless of your adhd is an important skill to have. However I woudln't rely on this to heavily.

Are you going crazy? Not likely. But what you've described does sound a bit like bipolar - a manic episode followed by a depressive crash.

ADHD and the inability to sit still is one thing - but the sudden impulsive burst of risky activity and feeling like you can do anything, followed by a period of lethargy and depression sounds more like bipolar behavior than ADHD alone.

Again, still not going crazy. More of an internal regulation issue. Talk to your doctor about it, if you have one. Do some reading about it and see if it sounds like what you feel like when you go through it.

The fact that you realize that you go through these cycles is a good start.

I'm starting to read up on it and it seems familiar. I always just assumed it was part of ADHD syptoms.

If you focus on just the highs and ignore the lows, then bipolar does tend to look like ADHD - and equally so if you look at just the lows and not the highs, it tends to look like depression. It is still possible that you have bipolar and ADHD. But, one thing at a time. Good luck in your search.

Exercise seems to help in most of these types of situations.

Also:
Cut out caffeine, sugar and recreational drugs.
They hyper-energise the emotional spectrum and reduce your rationality.
Works for me.

I need to go to my doctor and see if I'm bipolar. It would explain alot. If I am not then I am going to lose it. I don't know what else it could be.

Did you have that short energy burst when you were little Bipolar usually is something that doesn't develop till the teen years or young adulthood but little kids might be able to get it. I'm not really sure what else it could be besides bipolar thou but it might could be other stuff. A psychiatrist may be better than a GP type doc for this but you may need a referral to see the psych. My girlfriend has something maybe kinda similar. She's had a bad depression since she was in her teens due to bad circumstances & her depression tends to fluctuate a bit sometimes. She gets hyper sometimes when she's tired or busy which can be good cuz she's able to get more done but she has a crash after. She also has some days where she feels kind of energetic for her for no discernible reason. She sometimes tries to get a bit of stuff done then. She cant really handle doing a lot in a day thou & she usually feels like cr@p for a few days after being really busy. She doesn't really have a problem acting recklessly thou unless she's very mad, then she has a meltdown. She reads a lot of psychology stuff & she suspects it could be an ADHD thing with her in addition to other various stuff like depression & anxiety stuff. She has major problems with executive function. If you've always had major problems with executive function since you were little Vamp that would make me suspect that you might have ADHD. Like uncommondenominator mentioned, it is possible to have ADHD & bipolar or various other stuff. Even if your not bipolar & just have ADHD, there is a chance a med that has mood stabilizing effects might could help. There's a couple different types of meds that do. Some people who are really scared of bipolar type medication are thinking of a specific med or class of med & they don't really know about the other options for meds. That would be something to discuss with a doc or psychiatrist thou.

Had been diagnosed with ADHD as long as I can remember. Depression since I was 13. Begin noticing the sudden changes around age 14, didn't say nothing because of being feared called crazy.