Am I autistic or a narcissist?

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I was diagnosed Aspergers when I was 5 but I have always been obsessed with social status. I always wanted to be popular and be with the “in crowd”. Even as an adult, I get insanely jealous of seeing others girlfriends/houses/cars/careers on Facebook. However, I enjoy bragging about myself from time to time and love the attention, especially on social media.

So is this Aspergers or narcissism?

You can be both. Sometimes people are a narcissist because of low self esteem and being unsecured about themselves.
Some take it to an extreme so it makes it a personality disorder for them. I don't see how someone on the spectrum can't be a narcissist as well.

BTW, wanting to fit in and envying others does not make you as narcissist. I call this being human. Lot of people want attention on social media as well and will brag on there about their life.

Last edited by League_Girl on 27 Oct 2020, 12:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I don't think this makes you a narcissist. Everyone gets jealous sometimes. Everyone brags a little, even unintentionally. I was asking myself the same question, but when I look at the traits of a narcissist, I probably don't have enough to get diagnosed a narcissist. I am very self conscious of my appearance. I never think I'm attractive enough. I won't leave home without makeup most of the time. I have low self-esteem. If I have any personality disorder, it's borderline personality. I can see being diagnosed with that, I have many of those traits.

I've always been jealous of other people's social lives.

It is actually an NT trait to want to fit in and be noticed. I happen to have this trait, which contradicts with Asperger's.

Sometimes I feel like I'm half-autistic and half-NT. You can imagine how contradicting that can be.

To be a narcissist I think you need most of these traits (some of these are normal human traits, so having some of them doesn't automatically make you a narcissist):-

Have an exaggerated sense of self-importance
Have a sense of entitlement and require constant, excessive admiration
Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it
Exaggerate achievements and talents
Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate
Believe they are superior and can only associate with equally special people
Monopolize conversations and belittle or look down on people they perceive as inferior
Expect special favors and unquestioning compliance with their expectations
Take advantage of others to get what they want
Have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others
Be envious of others and believe others envy them
Behave in an arrogant or haughty manner, coming across as conceited, boastful and pretentious
Insist on having the best of everything — for instance, the best car or office

I once knew a woman who literally had all of these traits. I got obsessed with her because she fascinated me, but as soon as I started to find out her true colours she didn't like it and she accused me of being the narcissistic one (well, she didn't exactly say but I could tell she was implying that I was the narcissist) and we haven't spoken since.
To be honest now that I know more about narcissism I'd like to get back in touch and be friends and accept her narcissism, but she won't have it. She even blocked me on Facebook. So that proves that she won't have anything to do with anyone who catches on that she's a narcissist.

Narcissism and socio/psychopathy are terms very much overused these days.

Narcissists have had their self-esteem so critically wounded that the wound becomes subconscious. They go around trying to get people to see how wonderful they are and get enraged if anything seems to threaten the ego they've built up to manage their wounded self-esteem.

Does that describe you?

Narcissists generally don't mention or recognize that they may be narcissists; that would threaten their egos and their false personas of greatness.

totally agree. I guess, after some time being human would be a diagnosis as well

I once asked my therapist that same question and she said, if you are even asking that, you’re not a narcissist.

That's pretty much it. A narcissist wouldn't see it as an issue to be solved, rather its others that have an issue. The only reason a narcissist would seek/accept a label like 'aspergers' is if they perceived it as validating their 'superiority/specialness'.

Or use it to say anything they want and call it their honesty and how they can't lie or use it to invalidate your feelings and hide behind the word "logical."

You could be both but I don’t know if the traits you listed definitely point to narcissism. It seems like it would be the opposite of what an Aspie would do but not necessarily. In my case, I’m not diagnosed but I believe I have AS. I’ve found myself behaving in a similar way in the past because I felt I needed to compensate for my misfit social status. Lose weight, buy trendy clothes, post pictures on social media, etc. Then when I would get complimented I would feel better, like someone noticed me in a positive way so I kept paying attention to my appearance. I feel like being somewhat conventionally attractive has helped me compensate for deficits in other areas. It sounds shallow but sometimes you have to work with what you have in life. I’m also pretty sure I’m not a narcissist. I was actually a victim of narcissistic parenting.