DAE work FT and fully support themselves and live alone

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Hello!

Does anyone else work full time and fully support themselves while living independently in their own place and paying all of their own bills with no outside help from other ppl or govt assistance?

If you do...how do you do it????

What job do you have? How do you manage the stress of it all?

Any input would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

I work full time, but I piss my money away, hoard, live in a smelly messy hoarded apartment and eat junk food. I ended up pissing the last job away because of shut downs and the wrong attitude. I don't know how to get out of this. I still have one job that is almost full time. My family is terrible with money.

You should have had a plan and been working on getting jobs while you were younger. It's never too late to start. First step. You have to.. apply!

I started a full-time career while I was still living at home. I then had some years in long-term relationships (and thus outside the scope of this question), and some years living alone. It's been... hmm, nearly thirty years now?

Most of the work I had, particularly in the early decades, was either in admin or tech, for extremely large (although not usually international-large) employers. Places which had very rigid HR frameworks and strong unions. Salary, not hourly, and no unpaid overtime. Jobs which tended to be very repetitive - either paper-pushing or troubleshooting. I never worried about being fired, even when there were, shall we say, occasional frank and fearless differences of opinion with individual managers.

I rented for the majority of those years, which meant that while I did have all the issues involved with dealing with rental companies (some of which I had to bend over my knee and spank to get them to behave), I didn't generally have to deal with the flip side of arranging multiple different types of maintenance directly for the places I lived. Mostly, I lived in apartments or units, so I didn't have to deal with gardening or maintenance. I tended towards minimal and modular/collapsible furniture and possessions, so moving house was fairly painless and I could do so quite often in order to minimize my commute whenever I got a new job (note: HIGHLY recommended). And outside of work, I had a fairly simple life with no social obligations or hobbies affected by other people's schedules.

By and large, it worked for me.

These days, if I was starting out, I'd probably look for work which had the following characteristics:

- working for a large, national or at least state-level government department, ideally one which is extremely white-collar, in an internal infrastructure/support team (or in an initial low-level job which might allow eventual sideways or promotional movement into such a team). The HR and legal frameworks of the employer can be onerous, but they tend to pay wages reliably and they often have tens of thousands of back-room positions involving very little face-to-face work. Also many opportunities if you can move to a new city or interstate in order to take up a better-paid position, and will often have highly-paid technical and specialist positions available (i.e. you don't have to be a manager to be paid well). Not to mention that moving between departments is far easier than moving between private employers, meaning you're effectively working for "the state" or "the fed" rather than just the one department, and can transition between potentially hundreds of thousands of positions to find one that suits you.

- working from home. This has become significantly more normalized and available over the last twelve months. Grab the opportunity if you can!

- answering largely-repetitive email questions as a huge chunk of the job. Once you learn the answers or how to look them up, the work becomes trivially easy and low-stress, and it's fairly easy to drift into seniority when most other people aren't looking to do that kind of thing as a long-term career move. Plus, it's a very easy task-set to find yourself working from home with; far more than any job where you're expected to answer walk-up questions or turn up at someone's desk to answer something for them. (Or anything blue-collar, which tends towards a lot more physical work on-premises, as a default.)

Well, I went from university to living with my boyfriend, who later became my husband, so I was fairly dependant on him for many years. Now I'm divorced and trying to manage independently (though not alone, I also have teenage kids), and it is quite challenging. I'm not sure I could have done it when younger but now I have enough experience to get by.

The important thing is to be in stable employment. As Dial1194 said, white collar work in a government agency is good, that is what I'm doing now. Not fantastic pay but worth it for the stability. Stable employment means the ability to buy a car, rent a house, or even get a mortgage on your own house.

Otherwise, this is how I manage:
I got permission on health grounds to reduce working hours to 9 day fortnight, giving me a 3-day weekend every other week - this helps a lot in providing decompression time. Most of my bills are paid by direct debit, avoiding problems with me being too disorganised to pay on time. I also pay someone to mow my lawn, so I can concentrate on just doing the basics of getting in food, washing clothes, and doing just enough cleaning to keep things hygienic. Once those things are sorted, it's not that hard.

Two words: CIVIL SERVICE.

I’ve lived in my own, with little or no assistance, since I was 20. I got my Civil Service job at 19. I was very lucky.

I did run into debts, and made financial mistakes....but that’s my problem.

These days, I feel something in the health field is the best way to go. Call Center jobs tend to be dead-end jobs that don’t last long. The best thing you can do is stay on a job at least a few years.

There is a great need for health care workers—even CNAs or Home Health Aides. It can literally be a “crap” job—but it pays the bills.

It’s better to be a nurse, or get a certificate in something like “x-ray technician.”

Civil Service.....or the health field.

This can be a huge factor, and people don't consider it anywhere near as much as they probably should. A government job, particularly a permanent one, unlocks a lot of easy-mode access to such things in society. Banks, rental agencies, and many other places see it as the next best thing to a guarantee of stable and long-term income. You're more likely to be able to get a mortgage with a $30,000pa government job than a $50,000pa income from owning a small business, purely because of the stability (and because government agencies tend to perform a bunch of screening on their applicants).

It's also a solid social platform. No-one thinks a low-level white-collar government employee is likely to be unstable, or weird, or someone to keep away from (at least by default). They might assume you're staid and boring, but there are a lot of worse things to be thought of as. You're considered part of society's framework. You are "in", so to speak. And, if we're being blunt, a lot of us know all too well what it's like to be out in the cold, from a societal perspective.

Other advantages include:
- depending on the government, the department, and the culture, pay rises and promotions can have a seniority factor. Simply turning up and doing the job for a number of years can net you automatic salary increases and make it easier to apply for more lucrative positions without having to schmooze and network and turn up at all the parties.

- again, depending on the culture, there may be a strong aspect of retaining personnel in the rare event of a department downsizing or being absorbed. If you're in government, it's far more likely that you'll either be given a new job at the same level, or given a whole lot of help (and jumped to the top of the queue) when finding a new one. Your income and career continuity is far more likely to be preserved than if you're working in the private sector.

- relatedly, it's really damn hard to be fired for something which is genuinely not your fault, and even (a lot of the time) for something which might _technically_ be your fault but where the management or procedural framework contributed to the situation in the first place. This can be an enormous stress relief just day to day, and when making future plans.

Idk how people do it, I am on disability and can only handle part time.

yes, CNAs if you complete the Red Cross course in the US or a similar course is doable for some aspies. There are challenges with flexibility and intuition, time management, burn out, sounds and smells, team work. the CNA job is very brainy believe it or not.

Yes I know, I also have severe OCD. I’ve interviewed for cna jobs-in america you don’t have to have a certification at all places, some will hire you without it or pay for it. But my OCD took over and wouldn’t let me.

I have:

ASD level 2-no intellectual impairment
OCD
PTSD (CPTSD)
ADHD
and a ton of anxiety dx including Agoraphobia.

Damn. I think I’m gonna ride out this job I have and then just file for Medicaid and food stamps and maybe try for the impossible-disability.

Try for a clerical civil service job. Or maybe medical billing or coding where you don’t have to deal with people.

If you are able, don’t go the “disability” route. You get treated like crap, and they might discontinue benefits at the drop of a hat. The SSI/SSDI people could be very intrusive folks.

If you do go for disability, you will probably be rejected the first time. If you’re rejected, get a lawyer who operates “on contingency,” meaning you don’t pay the lawyer unless you win your case.

Those diagnoses might not qualify you for disability, especially upon first application.

Thank you kraftie!

I will definitely start applying to everything I can!

I feel like you should take courses, too.

Like maybe take courses in medical billing or something similar.

Or get a certificate in something like “MRI Technician.”

The health field, in general.

I have enjoyed periods of full time work for a few years, and suffered joblessness for more.

Ironically before going to Uni and working my but off to get a degree, i was employed in a good job in a good area.

I live in an island which is a tax haven, where the majority of employment is in merchant banking and supporting industries, which are either public facing or which are in a highly conservative working environment which has very little capacity for abnormal people or their behaviour.

When i returned to the island after work, I got work mostly in IT jobs, fairly low level basic hardware or software jobs.
Which were OK paid, and I was happily employed and supporting myself completely living independently.

Unfortunately I then got involved with a woman, who I later married who was a drama queen, who went out her way to ruin my reputation with slander. I live on a small island so the slander spread fast. She didn't have a degree (not that it is everything). But her slander did ruin my reputation. She did this shortly after my only and older brothers death, after violently assaulting me and after cheating on me. Ironically, she was also highly religious, she was a Jehovah Witness, despite this, I think she broke all the 10 commandments.

Since splitting up with her, I have had a couple of jobs, but she stalked me to both of them and people started to victimise me in the work place. So I lost my jobs.

That was the last i had in terms of getting involved with work. But i continue to pursue my own areas of interest that may end up being a source of revenue eventually.

When i had my psychological evaluation for ASD, the clinical psychologist recommended that i try and work out a way to become self employed, greatly due to how the symptoms of ASD affect me but also due to my unfortunate circumstance.

Although, having ASD, it is hard to raise the funds for the equipment needed to start a business, and hard to interface with the real world because of the lack of soft skills and reputation.

But I know from experience, if you can get yourself trained up in the right area, if you work out a job where you can get a good income then you will find life a great deal easier.

One of my friends wives is a lawyer, and gets paid per hour what i would get paid a week.
So part time is manageable, if you are able to take such qualifications.

Other well paying part time jobs are book keeping / accounting tech etc.

Other self employed work is reliant on really good organisation skills and lots and lots of hard work,
so I probably wouldn't recommend creative endeavours unless you have supportive benefits or family.

Welcome to Wrong Planet.

I have the same diagnoses as you: Level 2 ASD, CPTSD, Combined ADHD, Agoraphobia, and even Selective Mutism. We sound very similar except that I've never been assessed with OCD. I can offer a perspective in both directions for you. I did work fulltime for many years, owning my own homes and being self-sufficient as well as being a single parent (with all of those expenses). I don't want to glorify it. It was extremely challenging but I had no choice, and no one else to rely on for financial or practical support. Long story short, but I'm now on Disability for CPTSD, and because I suffered a stroke. It's paid by my former employer and topped up by the government. This was only possible because of my career. I worked many years and paid into disability insurance, and it paid off when I really needed to stop. There's no way I could work now, because I've been in an Autism burnout for several years. I still own my own home, and pay all my own bills independently. I wouldn't want to depend on anyone else to support me. It's exhausting and expensive, but it is what it is and I'm glad to be financially secure.

I do think Disability is a viable option if you have exhausted all other avenues for self-sufficiency, and you truly cannot work. In that regard, I see both sides of your choices. I don't know how the American system works but from what I've read on WP it does seem quite challenging (although not impossible) to be accepted for SSI / SSDI, and to keep disability benefits longterm. My daughter had to attend tribunals for her Disability claim as a person with chronic illness and HFA, but she won even without legal representation. I'm not suggesting it's easy, and you will need considerable documentation of your diagnoses, but I thought I would share my thoughts with you, the best I could. I might add that my daughter doesn't earn enough on her disability payments, to be self-sufficient. She didn't work for years or contribute toward disability insurance the way that I did.

I'm rambling. My apologies.

Best wishes with whatever you choose. I hope you enjoy WP.

Thank you for your kindness

We are very similar. Even my adhd is “combined”.

I hope you’re having a great weekend.