Do you dissociate? How do you cope with it?

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Do you ever dissociate? If you do, how do you cope with it?

Sometimes I wake up and my entire day is made 10x harder, because I started dissociating from the moment I woke up, often from having a bad dream. Other times I just get bad anxiety over something during the day (usually something that reminds me of past trauma), and then end up dissociating the rest of the day.

It's very annoying because it makes it so I can't think well, and it for some reason always makes me very very depressed afterwards. The dissociation itself even adds to my anxiety because I don't have control over it, and I don't like the "numb" feeling it gives me.

I don't really have anything that "grounds" me. Being around my pets doesn't even help that much. So far my only way of dealing with it is to just try to wait for it to pass.

In my case, dissociation used to be the main mechanism to cope with sensory overload and overstimulation. It didn't end well long-term - I lost my sense of self and then got misdiagnosed and mismedicated.
Maybe there is something - feeling, information, stimuli - you need to process but you don't know how to safely do it?

That's probably what's happening. I wasn't really allowed to feel any negative emotion as a kid or I'd get screamed at, so now when I do I just involuntarily dissociate to kind of "get rid of" the emotion. I don't know how to stop doing that though, which is what is distressing about it. I have no control over it and it happens every time I get upset.

sure, i think it is hard for us to understand what you mean exactly
perhaps due to our lack of knowledge on psychology

i wonder if what you are suffering from is anything like autism shut downs?

meltdowns and shutdowns

I have experienced a lot of meltdowns in my life
and some shutdowns

the shut downs have happened after what i perceive as extreme trauma
break up of a romantic relationship
death of brother
or just build up of several years of distress and trauma

meltdowns however can happen any day with only a little trigger

i am no clinical psychology though

Well, I know what shutdowns are and it's not that. I was hoping people who know what dissociation is would comment, because it's a common symptom of anxiety and PTSD and I know a lot of people here deal with those things.

https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/dissociation-overview


The specific type of dissociation I deal with is called "derealization" and it causes a feeling of detachment from my surroundings, an altered sense of time, tunnel vision, and other unpleasant symptoms. I developed it as a coping mechanism to anxiety and trauma, but it happens daily, even when I don't need it to happen, and persists for so long that it prevents me from getting things done.

I just saw this post. Yes I can relate. I'm diagnosed CPTSD from ongoing trauma in my adult years, but I remember dissociating even as a child. I've always lived in my head and felt a sense of derealisation / depersonalisation (I'm never sure which one applies better). My trauma psych actually says I'm not experiencing clinical dissociation because I know what's "real" and what isn't, but regardless, I relate very much to your experiences.

I agree that sometimes our dreams seem to feed into it, even if we don't remember the dream. Sometimes I wake up feeling detached from my life because I know something's going on subconsciously in my emotions.

How do I deal with it? I've spent about 5 weeks obsessively sorting thousands of old printed photos from my parents and grandparents, and micro-analysing the small details to bring back memories and to put them in order. My OCD has kicked in big time. It's like a forensic deconstruction / reconstruction of my life. Obviously it won't cure the feeling, but it's helping me to see who I am, and where I fit in my family tree. Genealogy has helped me too. It puts my life in perspective to see so much history, and to realise the people may have felt exactly the way I do today.

I developed a dissociative disorder as a result of childhood psychological trauma.
As a result of that, I developed ontological security.
In essence, I was an 'empty shell' or 'dead inside' as someone informed me when I was in my 20s.
The perfect 'Manchurian Candidate', you might say.

Even today, I am struggling with realising a sense of tangible reality.
My passionate search for a hardcore connection with my existence is still ongoing, not that I am out of touch with the world.
It is more like a film over my mind's eye.

The interesting thing is, that while I haven't achieved the degree of objective awareness that I am pushing for, I have a better perspective on life than many other even older people, than myself.

Part of the problem with trying to self-actualise is that other people interfere with the process.

This reminds me of the quote:
'Honesty is not a social duty, not a sacrifice for the sake of others, but the most profoundly selfish virtue man can practice: his refusal to sacrifice the reality of his own existence to the deluded consciousness of others' (Rand, 1957, p. 945).

This is the problem with collectivistic groupthink.
If you are dependent on others for your grounding, you will never find your true self.
If you depend on the 'conscious delusions of others', you will continue to feel a sense of dissociation.
An internal locus of identity is the way to go, period.

Some people will always try to pull you down because of your individuality.
Don't let them.

Yep, pretty much. It's the main reason why I'm even here actually. Distraction. Fighting against it tends to make it worse.

Hmm, that's an interesting way to deal with it. I've definitely noticed that looking through old pictures and school work helps me trigger other, sometimes unpleasant, memories from my childhood, which in turn can help me work through some things.

Like you said, that doesnt make the dissociation go away, but if I used that to remember and actually deal with more things that have negatively affected me and that I have repressed, it'd probably be beneficial.


This is also helpful. I have an issue with letting the people in my life negatively influence how I handle and think about my problems, because I try to go to them for help and they don't have any actual constructive advice besides for complaining about my choices.

I could at least benefit from being more selective with who I seek advice from, and learning to recognize and ignore unhelpful suggestions.

It's been no picnic. I've been on an emotional and psychological rollercoaster with a lot of the pictures and memories. Some of them upset me so much I didn't know if I could continue. It was all a therapeutic process for me, as well as a good way to work on organisation and executive function by sorting sooooo many photos. (Picture about ten shoeboxes overflowing with undated family photos going back to the 1800s, and having no idea where to start because I'm OCD about getting everything in absolutely perfect chronological order, without any frame of reference - I actually examined the shadows on the ground to know which photo might have been taken five minutes after another one).

I also went through all my school reports and mementos, which was emotional too. Obviously you might not be comfortable doing such a Hurculean task, but I've been acutely aware of its benefits for my emotional health. I think looking at objective evidence of people, places, things, and memories, can help reshape the way we see the world and our place within it.

You guys are braver than me...

If I see something old that for some reason happens to have survived, and it's something that can be burned, I burn it.

yeah..and well I generally just smoke some weed and it brings me back. That said the first time I really recall it was the incident that caused my PTSD there was a lockdown at my HS and a student got shot, for a lot of it I did just feel numb I remember being really freaked out but then my brain was just like nope now you feel nothing, even thought I was fine for a time afterwards before I started getting all anxious and hypervigalent about something like it happening again.

since that sometimes I randomly get disassociated feelings, and idk either it wears off after a time....or if I smoke some weed it usually goes away.

Hero,
I forgot to say that my OT suggested doing yoga and other interoception exercises to help me feel "grounded" into my body.

I set aside regular stim times, and I also got a Wilbarger brush which has helped me be more aware of my physical self, if that makes sense. All of this helps the brain and body to connect a little better.

I've noticed that weed actually makes me dissociate or makes dissociating worse, I don't know why. I'm glad it works for you though.



I actually think I've noticed that exercise helps me stop dissociating a bit, so you mentioning that is very helpful. Thank you.

I also in general just need to exercise more, so maybe trying to dissociate less will help motivate me to do that... lol

There's definitely some pictures and documents that I'd like to have not exist because they remind me of certain things. Every time I look through things like that it's a game of "will something I find just frustrate me or not". lmao

Some people do have more negative reactions to weed, so for sure its not the right thing for everyone. I am glad it helps some though because I have had pretty bad luck with trying various psych meds but of course some people find some of those very helpful.

My mom though she has gotten into like yoga to relieve some of her stress and that seems to help her...I have never been able to get into that but a lot of it is about sort of connecting with your body so that may be something to look into.