Always fun, is it not? I've never been under suicide watch before, so I guess I have that going for me.
I probably should have gone 5 or so months ago, but I was needed here, so I had to remain as whole as I could on my own. I'm glad I didn't go. I had thoughts and dreams keeping me company for a couple of months, as they do, along with the odd phone call to services. I know all of the psychiatric methods, so in reality, a hospital is just a place where people do things for you and you can get things out to me. The thoughts and dreams...brought that memory to me, the memory of things I want and always wanted. I decided that I'll fix myself this time, and in the least, give back something I've needed to for a long time. I did that. I got some help I wouldn't ask for (nor do I feel like I deserve, but that's how I am).
Mental illness and life got to me, as it does.