Strange Question

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Imagine this scenario: a woman tells you that she has mixed feelings about her college. She says that she loved her professors but never wants to go back there for reunions or anything. She says that she even avoids going near the campus whenever she's in town.

What would you suspect was the most likely reason for such an attitude?

Triggers related to the campus or the students.

If it were a guy I would suspect that he was faker, claiming to be a college grad, who never went to any college at all, just padding his resume to impress the dating partner.

If it were a female I guess it could be due to actually being an alumni of the college in question but having bad memories of the place.

College Reunions? Do they happen? Huh.

I mean, if a woman told me that, I'd say "Um, yeah, obviously, why would you go near campus unless you were either going back to study, are there to give a talk to students, want advice from the careers centre or are looking for funding to set up your own business?"

Unless she flat out wouldn't go to the entire area itself, then I'd wonder if something traumatic happened. In which case I'd tell her that if she wants to confide in me she can, but doesn't have to if she'd rather not tell me the details. That we can always go visit somewhere else instead.

Social anxiety could be a reason.

I love my professors too but I don't like going on campus because other students have teased me about my diagnosis

I would think it was a trauma response whether I knew it was you or not.
I'm not sure if I'd probe for more information but I'd indicate I understood.

Yeah, a guy I dated did probe somewhat on our date, but I evaded the topic. It’s not first date material in my opinion even though we had been talking for a couple weeks. I wasn’t sure what that was about. I’d assume that if a woman didn’t want to go near her campus it’d be due to trauma, especially sexual trauma, but I wanted to see what others thought. (Our college experience came up in an email and then he questioned me about why I felt the way I did on our date.) I’d probably not broach the topic or question her on it because I’d know that she’d tell me when she was comfortable.

Do you think he was clueless in an innocent way because he lacked empathy / theory of mind, or do you think he understood yet had no tact?

Maybe a little of both. I don’t know.

I loved some of my professors at college and uni, but I didn't make any real friends there. Getting my degree was a hard and unpleasant experience overall, and I have zero desire to go back and re-experience any of it. I didn't go to any of the re-unions or alumni events for the same reason.