spare time

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My dumpster fire "job" had the nerve to tell me that it is putting me on involuntary Leave of Absence. It said that if a doctor writes a note that says that my back pain is better, then I do Lot Attendant without accommodations. If my back pain is getting worse, then Involuntary Reclassification to a job without heavy lifting, if a job is open. She said that the only job without heavy lifting is Cashier. Otherwise, Constructive Dismissal. Home Depot has a sign on it that says "hiring". Home Depot has also been cutting part timers' hours lately. It's like it's trying to get rid of you, without making you redundant.

It is only reasonable to apply for jobs for so many hours a day. No "friends", "family", $$$, or car. Zero job skills. Don't like anything. Not good @ anything. What is there to do during spare time? Exhausted all the time and always have to be close to a litterbox.

The past four consecutive days, no work.

The only things I did:
gastroenterologist
pharmacist
safeway twice
trader joe's twice
cvs
library 3x
pulled weeds on three days
two naps
a lot of time on the internet
emotional overeating

Sick, tired, and bored, of myself, everyone else, and everything else. For many years, I had no job (just a couple volunteer jobs). Long gaps in work history, make it really hard to get a job. Also, zero job skills, autism, and weirdfuck personality.

exhausted all the time

have to be close to a litterbox @ all time

wasting a lot of time in the litterbox

zero goals, hobbies, "friends". pretty soon, home depot might have the nerve to make my worthless corpse redundant. really do not wanna panhandle (social anxiety). but i've been applying for jobs for a longfuck time. plenty of jobs. restaurant, retail sales. minimum wage. unskilled labor. going nowhere. i would loiter outside home depot with the day laborers, but they keep screaming "Chino!" @ me, like that's my name or something. if i had the nerve to scream "mexican", "latino", "chicano", or "hispanic" @ them, i could get made redundant. ("at will" employer). home depot takes "unity and diversity" very seriously. (even though plenty of employees have the nerve to mispronounce my non-English name, and a manager had the nerve to tell an employee to throw away her fish b/c it "stinks"). racial diversity, yes. not Myers Briggs Personality Type diversity, no.

no $$$ or energy to do s**t with.

bored when i do nothing.

ahedonia

masochism

dissociated

detached

In my opinion that's a LOT of stuff accomplished in four days.
I doubt I'd do that much in four weeks. Actually, probably not in four months.

Are you still working?
I'm trying to follow what happened with your 50 lbs accommodation.
It seems like you were redundant or put on leave.
Somewhere else you said you're working tomorrow.

I hope everything will work out OK with Home Depot.

Hope situation changes for you.

I would stay in touch with Home Depot and let them know that you are interested and available for the cashier job. Good luck with everything.

Isabella:

Almost everyone I interact with, appears to be energetic and require much less sleep than me, and they accomplish a lot more than me.

June 4, human resources told me that I would start Leave of Absence on June 18. However, human resources still continued to schedule me for work. The following week, I asked human resources if I go to work on June 18, b/c I was scheduled for that day. She said, come to work every day you are scheduled until she told me I was taking too long. Right now, the schedule has me scheduled to work through July 28.

The doctor filled out the form. I followed the instructions and faxed the form to the number on the form. That was two weeks ago. Human resources has not told me that Corporate (1) made me redundant (2) made me a cashier (3) is letting me be Lot Attendant until December 2024.

isabella and bee,

as of today, july 10, 2025, still working @ home depot as Lot Attendant.

my doctor's note that said i was not allowed to lift over fifty pounds, expired two weeks ago. thus far, nobody from home depot has had the nerve to tell me to get another one.

two months ago, micromanager Queen Angela had the nerve to write me up. as a result, i won't be eligible to transfer to jobs w/a higher salary than Lot Attendant, until november (if i haven't gotten made redundant or hit by a car or dropped dead before then).

cashiers get micromanaged up hill and down dale. cashier sounds like a really bad job for autistics. but whatever. plenty of people bad @ their jobs. plenty of people hate their jobs, hate their bosses, hate their coworkers.

"life" goes on and on and on and on....


the past four consecutive days, no work

the only things i did:

apply for jobs
job interview
whole foods, safeway, food maxx 2x, trader joe's, ranch 99, walgreens
internet
emotional overeating
four naps
library 2x
jogging


laundry
garbage
Litterboxing
dishes


my seventh grade teacher said, write a two page essay about what you accomplished in "life". a student said, "what if you didn't accomplish two pages of things?". teacher said "then write two pages about how you got to seventh grade without accomplishing two pages of things."

42 nothing accomplished. how is that even possible? been keeping a journal since 18 or so.... still, examined or not, that question remains unanswered.

four days off work this week. nothing accomplished.

jogging 2x
library, books, computer

ranch 99, safeway, trader joe's, food maxx

slept, napped, ate, dishes, laundry, garbage

internet

below salvage value

42 nothing accomplished

exhausted all the time

four days off work this week again.

feel like i've been decomposing/rotting in my pigpen

san francisco half marathon (personal best time)
sleep deprivation, tried and failed to sleep, slept, napped
jogging one time
library, computer

ranch 99, safeway, trader joe's, food maxx

internet

my sister came over on monday and thursday. home depot Delivery Associates came with the $600 stove my sister bought. she tipped him. (tips not allowed, but home depot could not legally videotape someone else's house). i work @home depot too. the two delivery associates carrying the stove, did not wear gloves. gloves required while loading (or "Safety Violation"; final warning).

my sister was telling me off "if you want to continue living here, live like a human being". (rolls eyes) (puke). she acted like she was being so "reasonable" but she kept telling me off. she had the nerve to tell me to scrub the mess hall floor and the Litterbox. then she gave me a cell phone.

my sister said that right now is a really hard time for everyone to find jobs, not just me. she said that if/when home depot has the nerve to make my worthless corpse redundant, don't look for a job. she said i should be working on "life skills". she said the "life coaching" costs $145 an hour and she is looking for other options.

feel like i'm decomposing/rotting in my Pigpen

nothing accomplished lately

@ work or outside work

exception: half marathon

I think it's great you did the half marathon.

Lower your expectations and standards

This week:

Flu shot
Jogging twice
Food Maxx, whole foods, trader Joe's, ranch 99, (city) bowl
Library, books, printing and videos
Naps

Read book
Litterbox


______________________

Bus schedule recently got a lot more inconvenient lately. Hate it. Not having a car makes it hard to go anywhere or do anything.

The only things I've done this year 2025

Sleep
Eat
Ludderbux

Work
Internet
Jogging
__________


On days off work

Grocery shopping and things like that
Library

Once visited sister

Half marathon
Two job interviews



Exhausted all the time and have to be close to ludderbux at all times

(Shrug)

Health rapidly getting much worse and pretty soon homebound

Terrified and horrified

"Not the end of the world"

last week, four days off work:

(city name) bowl supermarket
ranch 99
trader joe's
food maxx

library: books and internet
jogging
sister
scrubbed Pigpen

tuesday after work, ted and angela HS drove me to food maxx

wed no work

thurs no work

wed and thurs, library. books, computer

food maxx and smart and final

laundry, garbage, dishes

wrote six page letter to my sister about the angelas

in other words.... nothing accomplished

not keeping up with "life"

good thing i'm already 42 years old

exhausted all the time

every bone in my worthless corpse

should not be wasting $$$ and whenever i go out i end up wasting $$$, even if it's just bus fare.

no car.

exhausted all the time.

don't feel like talking to anyone. did not talk to anyone today.

have to be close to a litterbox @ all times.

kind of enjoy sitting in front of my computer and listening to youtube.

expand comfort zone

feel guilty/lazy for not applying for jobs, but "chase two birds and both escape".

besides, my sister said that when home depot has the nerve to make my worthelss cor[se redundant, i should not apply for jobs. i should just work on "life skills".

there's something wrong with everythng

"logic could be used to justify anything."

rotting, decomposing, deteriorating in my pigpen