The past four consecutive days, no work.
The only things I did:
gastroenterologist
pharmacist
safeway twice
trader joe's twice
cvs
library 3x
pulled weeds on three days
two naps
a lot of time on the internet
emotional overeating
Sick, tired, and bored, of myself, everyone else, and everything else. For many years, I had no job (just a couple volunteer jobs). Long gaps in work history, make it really hard to get a job. Also, zero job skills, autism, and weirdfuck personality.
exhausted all the time
have to be close to a litterbox @ all time
wasting a lot of time in the litterbox
zero goals, hobbies, "friends". pretty soon, home depot might have the nerve to make my worthless corpse redundant. really do not wanna panhandle (social anxiety). but i've been applying for jobs for a longfuck time. plenty of jobs. restaurant, retail sales. minimum wage. unskilled labor. going nowhere. i would loiter outside home depot with the day laborers, but they keep screaming "Chino!" @ me, like that's my name or something. if i had the nerve to scream "mexican", "latino", "chicano", or "hispanic" @ them, i could get made redundant. ("at will" employer). home depot takes "unity and diversity" very seriously. (even though plenty of employees have the nerve to mispronounce my non-English name, and a manager had the nerve to tell an employee to throw away her fish b/c it "stinks"). racial diversity, yes. not Myers Briggs Personality Type diversity, no.
no $$$ or energy to do s**t with.
bored when i do nothing.
ahedonia
masochism
dissociated
detached