Dating Sites

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Do you guys go on OkCupid?

I've avoided attempting to go on dating sites so far. I'm probably just being a coward about it but I've heard enough bitching and moaning about it from neurotypical people that I just never believed I'd be cut out in that world.

Like if anything it should be easier for me. I grew up on forums and know how to interact virtually way better than in person. But something about staring down my judgment on a screen versus being out in the world and having the option to hide... Maybe I'm just more confident in my chances to spot opportunity in person even in spite of having, let's say, lower than average emotional awareness.

Hiki seemed promising but seems like a bunch of it got paywalled which is unfortunate.

I used to love OKC back in the day, but I was checking it out not long ago, and it is WEIRD now.
Much more like Hot or Not, where it just pops up a bunch of mini profiles and you choose "yes" or "no".

10 - 15 years ago I tried on line dating.

It seemed like a really effective tool for shady characters to form a connection with me in order to manipulate and exploit. A little like everyday life but 'supercharged'.

Others will probably have had much better experiences of course.

I would advise any Autistic person trying this to take things very slowly and proceed with extreme caution.

No my mom wont let me sign up for dating sites.

It's interesting how many dating sites retain and use your image after profile deletion.

I have tried OK Cupid and I keep getting tons of likes from overseas women (those from Africa and Southeast Asia) despite setting my geographical limitations. It is mind-blogging. I have a gotten fewer likes from local women. I deleted my OK Cupid profile.

Yeah, it was bought out by a big conglomerate, and they've been systemically dismantling everything that made it unique and useful as a dating site, just turning it into Tinder with longer profiles. Still useful for looking for non-standard arrangements, lots of poly and such, but nothing like it used to be. I've still had some luck with it.

I bought a membership to OKCupid about three years ago. It is OK, I did get one date out of it. There are a ton of time-wasters that just like to drop you one-line replies every couple of weeks for no apparent reason other than they are bored and want attention.

Yep, before they got bought out it wasn't a bad site as far as dating sites go. They regularly posted interesting statistical analysis of what was going on on their site and I had the best response rate of any site I was on. But, they got bought out, they stopped posting the articles and eventually, they made it impossible to send messages to people unless both sides already liked each other. Which made my response rate go from something north of 50% to something on the order of 0% in no time.

At this point, the only thing I could recommend would be an actual matchmaker for folks that aren't able to meet people on their own.

Like I said, I still get some traction with it, but I put a goodly amount of time into writing an interesting profile and (ahem) I photograph well, so I've usually done at leas OK on the sites, I think OKC still has some utility just because you can write a longer profile and answer some questions to get a better filter. I've also had luck with Bumble and Feeld, though the later is more of a hookup/swinger app, if you're into that sort of thing. Bumble cracked me up because it destroyed the myth that men were uniquely bad at the apps, the sheer number of "hey" messages from women I got on that thing was kinda hilarious. I can't complain though, I met my current GF on Bumble, going to be 2 years next February.

It's been a few years, but I think that OK Cupid is probably still one of the best. A major issue with all of the dating sites is that they make more money the longer people are on the site and they need a certain number of people to be perpetually subscribed in order to remain in business. I remember trying Plenty of Fish and giving up pretty much immediately because I couldn't craft a profile that wouldn't get taken down immediately.

For those that can afford it, it makes far more sense to pay a service specifically to deliver acceptable matches and dates, as there's at least an alignment of the customer's and business' interests.

Even before they dismantled it, the last time I was actively using it (2018 I think? Maybe it was before then...) it was heavily populated by "non-standard" sorts of people. Lots of trans and poly and etc. Was also hard to find girls in my age range, but that's probably not the website's fault, just the way life goes.

Ended up finding my current ex on Plenty of Fish, which was a site I had never tried before. Too bad they delete your profile if you're inactive for too long (not that I had much on it, I don't think I even had a profile pic!).

I guess maybe because I always in medium to small sized cities, OKC and PoF had like 99.9% of the same users on it, except PoF seemed to have even more dead/abandoned/forgotten accounts on it. So I just ended up staying mainly on OKC.