Getting Worse with Age?

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My social skills are definitely deteriorating as I head towards 60. Anyone else notice this?

New fear unlocked! I thought it was just me.

But yeah, I don't have the time or patience anymore to waste energy playing social games anymore. Especially as I've learned over the decades that I don't actually do it well enough anyway.

Burnout is unfortunately very common in autistic adults. We can mask, push
through, grit-our-teeth-and-bear-it so
much until we can't. Thus, we seem "more
autistic."

It is not just autistic people, I think all people feel more isolated the older they get. It is because the main reason people get together with others is due to physical attraction. As we age, that factor diminishes, hence isolation results as people drift away and new ones do not enter our orbit. The lack of friends means social skills diminish, because friends exercise the social skills like a gym. One way to counter this trend is through work, that is one of the reasons I am still working, because I know I get social exercise from work. People will be around you due to compulsion in the work environment, they need you for various things work-related.

I'm not sure if my 'skills' are worse, but my tolerance is much worse. I was hoping that, as the chaos of children's schedule changes receded because they can drive themselves and go off to college, I would be less exhausted. But my advancing age has reduced my ability to do intense exercise, which was how I was managing stress. Visiting with people is getting harder and harder and parties have become nearly impossible. It's very hard for my partner, who needs social interaction and wants me to join in the 'fun.'

I've gone through 2 episodes of burnout in the past decade, and my functionality has declined after both. Also, I'm just less inclined to care what people think about me, so I'm not masking much anymore--which others might consider as less functional, but I just don't have the energy for it.

I think this is, in part, how my late diagnosis started. I was not maintaining my masks well.. or my social /com strategies were failing? I do think part of it is a normal aging process, but tweaks our autistic buttons in a way that makes it harder to cope and mask.

Often have repeated to take three day breaks from dealing with people or even physical chores ......
burn out can be quite common, and makes it more important to engage your hobbies/ perseverations ( hopefully not harmful ones)...In order for ones brain to recover better. . Even on good days found a manditory 20 min. horizontal lay down .Actually helped me get through a more normal version of days. Observing what and when you eat, ( should be a standard thing for Aspies ,imho) . but admit to using a second cup of coffee in the afternoon occassionally. But a eye towards a balance blood sugar also. Am trying hard to mitigate this situation using supplements, and the odd use of low level Nootropics. Seems to help, if "not " under direct stressors. But has improved my Stamina to short term stress.
Using all above techniques.

Everyone has deteriorating social skills now. I watch people interact when I’m out and about in life and they seem socially awkward, distant or afraid too. Or they show artificial enthusiasm as if they are performing. It isn’t just people on the autism spectrum. People seem on edge these days.

Yes! All of that helps.

I'm 45 and I am definitely getting worse, Years of masking, stress, bullying, idiot co workers, bosses, and pressure from family, I need to retire from the world or in part.

On the one hand things are getting easier as I learn more about myself, my limits, as I manage more and more to take a break before melt-down. On the other hand I feel that I have less energy than 20 years ago. I'm 40 now, so there's still a way to go. Luckily I did my travelling when I was 20, couldn't do it anymore.

I'm in my mid-40s. I think my entire schema of socialization crashed with my recent autism diagnosis. I have trouble differentiating between social skills, masking, enduring over-stimulation, or tolerating mean people. I might be able to figure something out after an event, but I seriously have no idea what the differences are in real time.

I've been wondering this myself, just turned 37 and leading up to a diagnosis this past december, I was feeling extremely anxious and having a lot of physical pain due to stress. Feel like I'm woring my way through a multi year burnout.

@wandermom

Thank you for this threat!
(I typed, hiding a sigh of recognition)
Indeed As a late diagnosed (t1) ASD male, active in local selfhelp-groups, I confirm it's a common experience.

My take is perhaps a bit of the standard I'm reading here as I see this more as a logical consequence of lifting the curtain, seeing the magic trick revealed and losing the wonder initially felt.
The comparison for me goes as follows:
studies have shown (https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4141622/) that humans (neurotypical or other) reach peak pattern recognition efficiency later in life. I.e. when we've seen more experienced more and are thus able to 'look behind the curtain'. We've seen and experienced more of the results of social interactions and also see more clearly the futility at the end of most... so for pragmatical minds such as ours (ASD). We often focus "10 miles down the road" and as we get more 'experienced' to me it is no surprise that burnout, faltering motivation and or discipline take hold in my already prone mind...

but hey, that's just my 2 cents

I've been struggling more since my diagnosis, and also since 2020 happened. Feels like my confidnce was shaken b the knowledge that things weren't going to improve as I got less anxious - my social skills were always going to be set on "manual." And in the last few years, the middle-aged decline in chances to actually met people in person has been turbocharged by the aftermath of covid.