Someplace Else

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I was wondering this really hit me today, is it a Aspergers trait to feel ''out of it'' or ''someplace else''? I ask because at times if my father and I argue, he will say I am on another planet or not same place as the other guys, also years ago the doctor said oh he's lost on another planet. I sort of agree because I don't feel connected to what others are doing, sort of focused on my dog and my ''schedule'' or what I am doing. I don't know if we do have a disconnect or sort of ''brain malfunction''. I know what's going on but often not important to me, but I am hard on myself because I never yet reached the ways other guys in my family did. I never reached or ''couldn't take on a lot'' such as how they are cops, lawyers, doctors, fireman and so on, they seemed to reach it much easier or didn't get aggressive or emotionally unstable socially. I never really fit in growing up, my senior year was a blur.

This forum is named "Wrong Planet" for a reason It's very common for us autistics to have problems connecting & relating to others & feeling like we don't belong in this normal world. I don't really have any advice or suggestions here except to say that I relate. I guess I deal with this by daydreaming a lot & focusing on my own stuff or my girlfriend who's also on the spectrum & feels the same way except she's a lot more depressed & angry about it than me.

I've heard it said that we notice what others don't notice, and I think it works the other way round. So people who don't think very much might disdainfully conclude that we're "somewhere else," "behind the door," or "lacking in common sense." We just tend to have a different idea of what's important, and we don't necessarily follow conventions.

Everything's relative. It's just as valid to say that they're somewhere else, only there are more of them. But being in the majority doesn't make people smart. My own solution is not to expect to particularly fit into mainstream society, and to look elsewhere for acceptance and friendship, though I'd give a mainstreamer a fair chance. I think it's to my credit that I don't see them as inferior, just different.

Sometimes it feels okay to be somewhere else ...cause ,where I grew up it is better than being "in There" where ever that was suppose to be. ......

I see Aspergers as an infrequent but normal neurological variant perhaps involving a more complex, more sensitive, or faster neurology that results in a cascade of sensory and cognitive information that can be burdensome to process.

One result of this is a lower ability to switch to a sort of "automatic pilot". If most people are able to integrate socially at a reflexive level, those of us trying to approximate that intentionally will seldom fit in smoothly.