Coping with being undateable.

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Hello everyone. I was wondering if anybody could tell me what are some ways to cope with me being forever single. Now before anyone says I won’t be, let me tell you about me. I’m 30, man, autistic, universally ugly to women, women repellent, never been flirted with, never been on a date, still a KHHV. With all of this, I’m also a pessimistic, overthinker, negative Nancy, Debbie downer, etc.

I had followed the dating advice and became the best version of myself from a dating standpoint. It didn’t matter. Women were repulsed by me and I’ve even creeped out some by accident. After all of that, I relaized that I’m just undateable to women.

Respectfully please don’t tell me to be happy or go to therapy. I’m not happy that I’m being forced this life. I didn’t sign up for this. I wanted to experience the same things that everybody else around me was/has experienced. Yep every other man around has experienced stuff like this but me. I’m the only one man in my circle to never experience it. This whole thing has left me very very bitter. Something that therapy can not fix.


So what are the best ways.

Sidenote: If this needs to go to Haven, please do so Mods

Women experience this all the time too. You are not the only one.

And yes, it is possible to learn and make changes that others will appreciate so that it doesn't have to be a lifetime situation.

Finally, developing friendships -- real friendships, not looking for anything romantic or physical -- is a wonderful thing.

The simplest observation I can offer is as follows: Life doesn't care. Specifically, it doesn't care about our perspectives of ourselves and what we deem to possible or impossible. You could well be right about being undateable, or life hasn't proven you wrong yet. I never expected to find someone and was resigned to being alone, but someone found me. I may be back in that lonesome place because of life, but life is what departed me from it to begin with.

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. When I was your age I was in the same situation, and I remember how terrible it felt. I know you don't really want any positive messages, but life isn't static. It won't always feel this way. You're also not alone. There are a lot of people here who understand how you're feeling, because we were there once or still are.

I 100% agree with Cyberdora. Redirection is going to be the best method to try and get your mind off of it. That's what I used to do when I was 30 and felt like nobody would ever want me: I'd distract myself from it. Picking up hobbies, or projects is an excellent idea. I used to volunteer at a foodbank (technically I still do, but we're talking about then). The good thing about volunteering is that it can make you feel good as well as distract you. Volunteering or joining a hobby group can also help you make new friends.

I hope things work out for you better than you ever expected

30 years old is still young. There is hope for you yet.