New diagnosis - really struggling

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Hi I have recently been diagnosed autistic at 21. For years I have struggled with my relationship with food and exercise. I was anorexic when I was 14 and then developed binge eating disorder after that which is still ongoing now. I work full time in a primary school as a cover teacher. I suppose some would say I am very high functioning in terms of my outward experiences. But I struggle a lot. I have zero friends, completely no one to message or see, the only people I talk to is my family and people I work with, but only at work. I want a hobby but not one where I need to be part of a team because I suck at being social. I want to lose some weight to feel better in myself and to feel better sensory wise. But I struggle to stick to things, isn't it so weird how an autistic person who craves routine, can't even go to the gym twice a week? Or eat a healthy meal without it becoming obsessive and then falling off into a binge again. I just need some support, maybe just a friend to speak to who can relate or who could motivate me and me motivate someone else. My life feels very lonely, I feel like I perform for everyone else but fail to show up for myself.
Thanks

How about being a volunteer gardening at a public garden? They often have chores where you can be alone, like weeding a flower bed.

I took a lot of work, but I learned to play golf. Surprisingly enough I play better when playing as a threesome or foursome. I find it easier use the pacing of the group as I have issues with playing too fast as a solo golfer.

Cooking is a very inexpensive hobby where I live. I can make a nice steak dinner for less than what it costs to get a fast food burger! I hear it is much different in Japan, where prepared food is very cheap to buy.

I like to make things with my hands. I built a model sailboat that should be pond worthy, finished in epoxy resin!
I'm very small and petite, so I can't use standard golf clubs off the rack at Dick's. Instead I'll buy parts on eBay and assemble my own custom clubs! I can build clubs to very high level of quality by spending the time to carefully weigh and measure all the parts. I have a little machine shop.

Welcome to the group. It sounds a lot like a confidence and self esteem issue to me. I know all of us are different but even with confidence it would be an impossibility for me to be a primary school teacher. Do you find it okay or difficult to talk to other staff? Do you get nervous or struggle around other staff or parents ?

You might feel low about yourself but I can almost 100% guarantee that others arent thinking bad about you as you are feeling about yourself.

Welcome to WP! You've just joined a group that you should fit into just fine.

As far as doing things that you already know you want to do...

- I find visible cues useful. I set my pill bottles (I'm old) in one spot at night and the next morning I move the pill bottles to a different spot when I take the pills. I can look at that spot to see if I've taken my pills.

Putting the out-going mail in the same spot by the front door makes it easy for me to check when I go out the door for things to mail.

A prominent white board of things-to-do could remind you of things you "have" to do.

- I find routines useful. I do my laundry Thursday mornings and move the clothes systematically to show where I am in that process...all of the way through folding them and putting them away. (OK, there are visual cues in this process, too.)


Good Luck!

I try to do my physical exercise at the same time

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

I think you'll find a lot of people here who understand your struggles

Welcome yo Wrong Planet . Think maybe as you wonder about through forums and threads here . You may find others whom have suffered with some similiar things similiar to what you have written about . Best Wishes for you .

I very much understand your struggle. I was also recently diagnosed this year, at 36.

I, too, struggled with weight for many years. I also worked stressful jobs with lots of people and rules to keep track of. I lived with lots of clutter in my personal living space and struggled to keep track of everything. I also had almost no friends outside of work acquaintances and family.

What I found to work is to indulge in therapeutic behavior and find what I call "helper tools." And I also am switching jobs. I'm not sure on your skills or full situation on whether you can or want to switch careers, but Temple Grandin has a great list of jobs that are autism-friendly of you ever think about that.

Schedules are key to me, but with room for downtime and flexibility. However, I am a dependent who only has ever worked part-time and lives with my family. I am not sure how you may be able to schedule. But I have a beauty routine and diet I stick to. Having all of your stuff in the same place and lined up in order of use is very helpful. Having an orderly living space in general is a must. I have a calorie-counting charts on my fridge door and I have a Calendar in my bedroom for dates. I maintain inventory for the kitchen like a restaurant. There are probably online apps that do those things for you, too, but I'm old school. There is also a helpful app that lets you know when you should drink water if you don't have a solid mind-body connection or are easily distracted, though I don't use it and don't know what it's called (a friend used it and showed it to me on their smartwatch once). I save workout and shower for the end of the night. I use MS Excel to keep track of finances.

I do yoga, donate to charities, play RPG games, and am fairly religious. I do these things at home by myself. Yet I could easily find communities of like-minded people by going to a yoga studio, doing volunteer work, going to a game store, or joining a church. I just... haven't managed to do so yet. But I plan on it. There are many communities online as well. I like AO3 for Fanfiction and Letterboxd for movies. I like Reddit and Bluesky for general social media. But you will have different and interests and hobbies, so I'd recommend hopping on whatever web browser you use and see what's available. That's how I found this site!

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Hi!
I'm sorry: the problem is serious.
First of all: welcome here.
You know, I've been battling food allergies for 18 months.
Practically everything I eat, or almost everything I eat, gives me severe abdominal cramps and diarrhea after digestion.
I've eliminated almost all foods.
Two days ago, a doctor told me to reintroduce one.
Bad idea.

Contact a center specifically for people with your eating disorders.

They can help you.

You know the paradox?
I'm about 180 cm, and I was down to 58 kilos.
Now I'm back on track.

About ten kilos.
It wasn't easy.
It took months.

Hi