I am pro Self-Natural selection or Self-Eugenics

Post Reply New Topic

There's constant pronatalist messaging in society everywhere:

"You’ll change your mind"
"You’ll regret not having kids"
"You’re not complete without a family"
"You'll die sad and alone"

But I am a firm believer that one has to be healthy/mature enough to have children; like I really believe that people should question themselves whether they are worthy genetically and mentally for that.

Self-questions that come to mind:

- Am I unblessed genetically? Is there a high chance to pass on my sh***y genes to my kid?
- Did/do I have health/mental conditions that made my life at school hard? Was I so bullied because of it? Was my childhood shity and so there's a high chance my kid will have the same fate?
- Is my age approriate for it? Am I too young or too old, if too old, will I have the energy toward my kid for her/his first 20 years or so of life?
- Am I financially capable for it?
- Do I have enough life experiences?

If the answers are No to most of these questions, then one has to admit that they are NOT worthy to have children.

I admit: Because of my age, Autism , childhood history and other weird health/mental conditons running in my family, I have long taken the decision NEVER to have children. I am in a long term relationship, but not planning to have any children.

I really wish more people had this kind of mentality and very high self-awarness about it; I think humanity would have been in better place if this was our instinct, but nope....apparently our instinct is to try hard to reproduce like viruses without giving much thought to it even when it's very unwise to do so.

I've never quite liked the word worthy. However, I agree that it should be up to the individual and there should be no shame imposed on someone if they decide they don't want children.

Unfortunately, there are definitely people who judge others for not having children. I know my distant family ostracised my aunt for her decision to remain childless and single. They considered it a moral failing of sorts. I think that's a daft reason to cast judgement.

In a way it's baffling because there are two contradicting narratives in society. If you fall pregnant, suddenly it's oh no, think of your employer! How could you be so selfish? but if you decide not to have children then you're failing society, don't you care about humanity?

Very much a damned if you do, damned if you don't.

I know I've had interviewers try to ask if I have plans to have children. Which yes, is very illegal, but yes it still happens! They try to be sneaky about it because they know they can't ask that question. Usually they preface it with "Just off the record" or "To speak casually for a moment" as if they're making chit-chat.

That part worries me. Society seems to stigmatise pregnancy and parental leave yet guilts those who do not want children.

Sorry, I know that's not what this thread is about but it makes me angry. I know I want systemic change but I don't even know where I'd start.

^^ The typical employers' minds prefer their male employees to be already married and their female employees to be forever single.
They don't admit that outright but they give very obvious signs about it.

I like your mindset Boo. I wish more people thought like that. It seems society in general looks down on others not being self-sufficient & independent with life. When adults with kids are struggling to get by they get looked down on for needing assistance & some struggling parents even face judgement for having kids in order to get free money & benefits. Yet at the same time there's more & more restrictions on birth control & family planning services. It's completely asinine to expect people to have kids when the people may not be able to afford to financially or mentally. I have so many of my own issues that I never wanted kids & my problems are so obvious to others that nobody has ever expected or encouraged me to have kids. Yet I know lots of other adults receive that even if those adults would likely never be in a good position to have kids.

Boo - Your mindset is correct. The world would be a better place if others thought out their lives much more, rather than just going with the flow of society. My extended relatives (one set of grandparents, uncles/aunts, cousins) tried to push me towards what they thought was ideal, not what was best for me. These were the same people who told me to my face that "you should not exist" and "you were a mistake" when I was very young. Their only thought was to add more branches to the family tree. Funny thing about trees, they often need pruning more than anyone realizes...

Much like you, I faced tremendous bullying in my youth. It caused me to "live within myself" during my existence in school. But there is a cost for that. I have found that I cannot effectively communicate with those in my age group out in a social setting. We live such drastically different lives. It is like a fish trying to talk to a hungry bear. I have little true social skills out in the real-world environment, so there was almost a zero chance that their "plan" for me would have borne fruit. My world revolves around science, where few choose to be most of the time.

The world we live in is not ideal. Personally, I did not want to bring a child into the world if it had to have the same difficulties that I had to go thru growing up. I would never wish that fate on anyone.