Sp Mg, [8/13/2025 5:10 AM]
In 2020–21, I stopped seeing myself in Russia and began preparing to move abroad. I didn’t want to work as a plumber or a driver (nothing against it, it’s just not for me)… And I started playing poker professionally because I had always managed to come out ahead, and people are such creatures that they often choose the “easiest” path.
In the spring of 2022, I clearly realized that it was time to urgently leave Russia, that the time for plans was over. By that time, I was already earning money from poker and could afford to change countries and search for my place.
The first place was Mongolia — it was close, and I am an ethnic Mongol. The atmosphere was very warm. Perhaps the nomadic way of life gives this warmth and respect for freedom on a genetic level.
After moving, the background was, of course, heavy, and at first I attributed everything to it.
At the same time, on an intuitive level, I tried to optimize my life. I could no longer keep everything in my head; many things were simply forgotten. My speed of absorbing information and making decisions collapsed. I had just enough energy to get through life… If I compared myself to someone, I had always been like a titan who makes several significant moves and then sleeps until the next move. That’s why I focused on optimization and was very strict with myself.
I had experienced such states — a vacuum — before, but this time it dragged on for three years. This spring, I took a three-month break from everything.
And at the very end of the break, before entering a dense schedule, I watched the series “Patience” — the story of a girl with ASD-1. In several scenes, I suddenly saw not something new, but something painfully familiar — myself.
From that moment, I began to study ASD-1 and took the tests (several times, to be sure): AQ — 38 points, RAADS-R — 145 points.
I got the links to the tests from AI and later started actively using it, because I had absolutely no understanding of what ASD-1 was. After getting my test results, AI suggested a list of Russian clinics and advised me to see a doctor.
After the appointment, the doctor gave me the diagnosis: “Suspected ICD-10: F43.2 — Adjustment Disorder”?
However, after the visit, I was left with the feeling of a scam — as if the main goal was to sign me up for long, paid sessions, and I didn’t have the money for that at the time. AI recommended continuing with the doctor, as this kind of diagnosis is often given as a preliminary one and is frequently a “companion” to ASD-1.
As I understood it, even before 2022, Russia had problems with diagnosing ASD-1, so now I am looking for suitable conditions to undergo an assessment in a reputable clinic with certified specialists. While waiting for such an opportunity, I began to dive deeper into the topic of ASD-1.
I didn’t study all of ASD-1, only what resonated with me personally, such as:
sleep problems,
nightmares where I was drowning in the ocean,
fear or avoidance of crowded places,
moments when even going to a small shop turned into a very difficult quest,
living by tasks, often other people’s tasks (which turned out to be a huge, unrecognized problem).
With every challenge, I tried to find an answer — and over time, everything formed around my daily journal as a way of life.
This is how my “architecture” was born — a system for keeping the shape of my day and my energy.
I’m not entirely sure what exactly I created, but life became noticeably lighter: colors came back, focus returned, the heaviness lifted.
This system grew out of my personal experience of the “vacuum” (severe overloads) and from the information I received from AI about ASD-1.
Sp Mg, [8/13/2025 5:10 AM]
The core of the architecture:
— Rituals — short morning and evening stretches that help me stay in the moment, keep me grounded, and restore me after sensory and cognitive overloads. This has a strong effect on my overall well-being and helps me notice the approach of a strong overload in advance.
— Daily journal — not just a to-do list, but a tool to unload my mind and hold the structure of the day. It helps me not dissolve into tasks and not feel guilty about big projects that take a long time to complete.
— The center principle — “I am the center. The routine is the form that keeps me.” Understanding this allows me to live and enjoy life without replacing myself with tasks or dreams, and depending on my state, to avoid playing the “hamster wheel” game. Being in an illusion — that’s an adventure of its own…
The AI shared some of my tips with other users, and I got their (anonymous) feedback.
That’s actually what pushed me to write this post.
It doesn’t have a specific agenda — I’m still searching.
12 Aug 2025, 4:21 pm
