Matchmaking and Love On The Spectrum

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You may be aware there are some TV shows about matchmaking. There's Indian Matchmaking and Jewish Matchmaking. I don't know how popular these are. Matchmaking is considered "old-fashioned" but still modern-day people participate.

I think Love On The Spectrum is at least as much of a matchmaking show as a dating show. The success of the relationships seems to depend on how well they matched the two people. Those people wouldn't have otherwise met. I am thinking particularly of Connor and Georgie, Madison and Tyler, and Pari and Tina. To me, this seems to work best with people whose autism is evident on meeting them. Others who may just come across as "quirky" like Dani and James (or Sharnae on the Australian show)* may not be candidates.

My point is that somebody should set up a matchmaking service like this for people on the spectrum in real life (instead of TV).

*not saying they're less autistic but their personalities are less likely to turn people off.

The town Senior Center has a matchmaking service for groups for small groups of women who travel together on outings. Especially women who aren't retired, but have to take care of someone and can't get out like a normal person.

Sorry if this makes me look needy, but I am genuinely astounded that almost nobody has an opinion on this, considering how lonely most people here are.

Bumping this again. Maybe now somebody has an opinion, or some kind soul could explain why nobody cares.

I wish I had that option when I was single. I had tried asking my cousins & friends to set me up but nobody tried. My autism & other various issues makes it a lot harder for me to meet people & makes LOTS of women warry about dating me. I had tried LOTS of dating sites & didn't get more than a couple messages from various women. I met the three girlfriends I had on online forums & they weren't NT.

I am not interested in a matchmaking service for those of us on the Spectrum. I would rather be part of a Church of Christ matchmaking service.

I think that, if it was an option, I wouldn't mind being a professional matchmaker. I bet that would be an interesting job.

Of course, I'm in no way qualified.

Need they be exclusionary?

even before I was as aware of what all this toss was all about I observed couples with close relationships that seemed to shared a sense of oddness/many-other-things-ness, including but not limited to what I'd now recognised as possibly being to some degree ND. I think many of lifes outliers are empowered by such a relationship; I think I am, and like probably many, neither of us were that aware of the spectrum thing when we met. Some still might not be.

I would sign up for an aspie dating service. My only concern would be that men would outnumber women by quite a large percentage because males get diagnosed more. Otherwise I'm all for it, I mean gay people have bars, clubs and dating sites, so why can't we have the same?

I think it's necessary that people who are in the minority like gays and aspies have a way to find each other and network, especially since many of us aren't out of the closet in public. Otherwise we might never find each other, there's just too many people to wade through when you make up less then 5% of the population.

FYI I'm not gay, I'm just making an analogy.

CFL

I would require it to be exclusionary because i am only interested in dating and marrying other people who are Church of Christ.

If such a matchmaking service existed, it shouldn't be limited to matching people on the spectrum with other people on the spectrum. I can't say exactly how it would work. I wouldn’t even assume it would be specifically for people on the autism spectrum but would merely include such people.

EDIT I guess I may have contradicted myself a little. Maybe I'll revise my premise to say that matchmaking might be a good approach for people on the spectrum to find mates, but not to call for the creation of a service expressly for people in the spectrum, but possibly a service that could successfully match people on the spectrum but not limited to clients on the spectrum.

^ Yeah, I don't see why not. I know three autistic people in my peer group whom are dating people without autism.

One is an autistic guy who's quite nerdy and serious. I don't particularly like him because we've argued a lot in the past. However, I know that my friend (his girlfriend) is happy with him so I'm happy.

Then my other friend, let's call her Sophie, she's dating this woman who happens to be autistic. As far as I know, Sophie is neurotypical. I don't know a lot about Sophie's girlfriend as it's quite a new relationship.

Then finally, I know this autistic guy, let's call him Andrew, who's dating this non-binary person, Nyx, who has ADHD. I quite like Andrew, he's easy to get along with and so is his partner, Nyx.

This reminds me of the old ad for Aspie Affection that used to be advertised on this site. I think it's very possible for people on the spectrum to find love. I was in love for a brief period. It was the best feeling of my life. Too bad the person that I was infatuated with didn't feel the same way at the time.

I could date an autistic man if he's the non-stereotypical type, as in just socially awkward but not socially clueless, doesn't really fixate on nerdy interests, is rather well-respected by his peers, has a big sense of humour and laughs at almost everything, doesn't get into angry meltdowns, doesn't desperately need time alone, that sort of thing. That's a bit like how my AS is; not stereotypical at all. I'm just quirky, but I have very obvious ADHD that seems to cover up the AS. I have an anxiety disorder, although some say AS is basically an anxiety disorder, but that is another thread, but even if it was it still looks like general anxiety disorder from other people's perspectives, as I naturally express my anxiety in non-autistic ways. That means I don't flap my hands or do other sorts of odd movements when in distress. I've always expressed my feelings more verbally, and via facial expressions too, not via stimming.

The only thing that might give my AS away is the way I can be actively avoidant of sudden loud noises. But I don't think people have really pinned that down to possible autism as such, as I just explain that I'm a "bag of nerves", which is actually the truth and is why I dislike sudden loud noises, because I startle very easily and it seems to shake me up, like where I can still feel the physical affects of the sudden noise like 15 minutes after its occurrence, all in my nerves around my body, particularly my heart (but I don't have a heart condition).

I haven't seen the Jewish version, but I'm familiar with the other 2 shows.

so in my city I've tried kin.connect and DinnerMatch.

DinnerMatch turned out, actually great. Only to be ousted by the group. It was so strange, that after everyone said their warm goodbyes, by hugging. To be reviewed as someone who is :

- loud,
- interruptive,
- arrived drunk
- I brought a guest (because I thought it was okay, since I bought two tickets)

This was absurd and hurtful.

Guess I'll never fit in.

Ok, hear me out for a sec. Yes, but... the algorithms never work right on any dating website because they are way too simple. I've got these skills, these analytical skills. Others have tech skills. Others are good at psychology. I think we've got the brain pool to create a dating website for everyone, including ND/NT characteristics, LGBTQ, life philosophy, age, level of maturity (age-related or not), etc, etc, that would be so accurate, we would be the new standard for dating websites.

I mean, somebody's gotta fix the problem. Dating/friendship websites are crap.