Have you confronted someone over "looking at you funny"?

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Jayo
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19 Aug 2025, 6:55 pm

Or, "giving me that look"? Something of the sort??
I know this is typically a behaviour from NTs towards others (including us neurodivergent folk), but not so much vice-versa, if we take our free-range, unmasked form.

But even with my socio-emotional impairments, I can recall quite a few times when someone was looking at me funny, like in a mocking way, or a smirk, or a "what's up with him?" kind of look. On at least a couple of those occasions, I confronted the couple of people exchanging those looks and asked "what's so funny?" and the predictable reply: "Oh, nothing." :x :roll:

I can recall getting confronted with this accusation a couple of times in my younger adult days, and as we know that whole 18-24 period can be a volatile one among young men in certain settings...but I never intended any ridicule, it was just a moment when I "spaced out", which I learned to control later as part of my diagnosis and masking efforts.

But, yeah, I think we feel a certain sense of dignity to almost the same degree that NTs would... which could impel us to make those "why are you looking at me that way?" challenges....the difference is, NTs tend to jump to the conclusion that we must be lacking in self-respect b/c of some of our behaviours, when we have no such intent to debase ourselves. We're not even aware of those behaviours being self-sabotaging, in most cases.



Tamaya
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19 Aug 2025, 8:20 pm

No, but I've been confronted for staring at someone. I don't normally stare at people but I only did with him because I didn't trust him because he'd been bullying me. So, like an animal needing to be on my guard, I found myself staring at him as he passed me, which made him yell "the f**k are you staring at me for?" And stupid weak little me went into the bathroom and cried myself dry.


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nick007
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20 Aug 2025, 6:04 pm

I'm too oblivious to ever notice how others look at me. However I've been on the receiving end of this confrontation a bit as a kid & I was almost always barely even noticed the person. I zone out & daydream a lot. It's also partly due to having a rare low vision disorder & not being a very visual person who tends to listen a lot more than he looks.


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CockneyRebel
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21 Aug 2025, 11:21 pm

I tell the person. "Take a picture, it lasts longer!" or . "Wow....you must really like Germany!"


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nick007
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22 Aug 2025, 7:33 am

^I like your responses :mrgreen: That's nicer than a bit of the ones I received.


After making my previous post I remembered that a couple of the times I actually was paying attention to the person/people because they were acting rowdy. They should not be causing a scene if they don't want others watching them. Plus them confronting the person watching causes even more of a scene which can cause even more people to watch & stare. It seems like the younger generation these days is more likely to record videos of others causing a scene which can lead to to a confrontation over being recorded instead of just being stared at.


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Edna3362
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22 Aug 2025, 7:52 am

I'm the one confronting. But that's just me several years ago, being a kid/teen.

Thus...

... If anyone tries to confront me, I'd know there are signs about them.
I could just use their assumptions or conclusions against them so easily...


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Elgee
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24 Aug 2025, 12:55 am

I have the most incredible response to someone who's been staring at you. It sets them up for a sizzling zinger.

You to starer: "Is there something on your mind??"

The starer will predictably answer: "No," and kind of sound defensive.

You: "That's what I thought."

(If you don't get this, read it all again.)