What do you need to do for an ADHD diagnosis in the UK?

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Do you need to prepare notes on why you think you might be ADHD? What's the best way to get a referral? Would you just go to your GP and say hey I think I'm ADHD? Do you get put on a waitlist? How long are the waitlists?

It's clear to me that I need some kind of help. I need to talk to an expert because I'm exhausted by how much effort I have to put in to function normally. I thought I could hack it without a diagnosis but I just need answers at this point.

Go to your GP and ask to be diagnosed by a psychiatrist, since you probably will want to try some medication. I understand that it doesn't cost much in the UK to be assessed under the right circumstances.

Yes, talk to your GP first. It might even be an online consultation and they will ask to send some forms. They will then refer you to the appropriate assessment centre. Waitlists for NHS are really long and depend on your local area, but they can be 5 years or more.