What brings you joy today?

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Hello from the wilds of Montana, or more accurately, from the wildling in the woods. I am here because the name of the group drew me. I am an outcast by necessity. I have always loved people but have lost the ability to walk among them undetected. My innate ability to mingle dwindled with the realization that my physiology was suffering from the stress of competitive neurotypical behavior, and what I thought was just social clumsiness and a delicate nervous system turned into full-on cataplexy. Sadly, I have lost my tolerance for neurotypical interaction and spend most of my time in the safety of solitude. And yet I long for the sharing of creative energy and ideas as well as unsolicites philosophical observations. I am the queen of outbursts of joyous nonsense and I welcome your nonsense here, too. And so I ask you, what brings you joy today?

Hi, welcome!
I also have trouble not being noticed.
In short: they understand something but don't know exactly what.
Interactions with neurotypicals are stressful.

I like people too.

Except that I pay the price in interactional stress afterwards.
You're not absurd

I don't understand some feelings: hate, love, happiness... I'm alexithymic.

If I understand rationally (there are two types of empathy: one is instinctive, the other is rational), then I can be seen as empathetic.

Some here have compared me to a sort of AI.

In school, I reasoned with ironclad logic.

I tend to be cold sometimes.

But I only know a few things; I generally don't know many other important things and things about the past.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Hi Finn! I like to think and your words make me think. My father used to say that I was empathic. But now that I'm older I understand that what he thought was empathy in me was hypervigilance. I grew up in a prison town so I had to mask my differences to survive. That's how I learned empathy for others. I spent so much time observing people I started to figure them out. I guess that would be rational empathy, yes? I am very curious about alexithymia. It sounds really interesting. I'd love to hear about it from your perspective. (Also I say love a lot. It means I'm curious and excited to learn. Language frustrates me when there isn't a word for what I want to say.)

Thanks!

Anytime!

Hey, Welcome to WP!

Hi!
Sorry for the delay.
I understand: the city and the masking condition.
Affective Empathy
: is the ability to share another person's emotions, experiencing a similar feeling.

Somatic Empathy
: is a physical reaction to the emotions of others, such as the feeling of sadness or anxiety when observing someone in pain.
At the Pre-Reflective Level
: these forms of empathy are not the result of logical analysis, but manifest instinctively, almost like a direct emotional resonance.
You may experience:
Empathic overload
: excessively absorbing the emotions of others can lead to a state of emotional exhaustion, anxiety, and difficulty distinguishing one's self from that of others.
Empathic burnout
: those who constantly care for others can develop mental and physical exhaustion, an emotional breakdown, and a loss of sense of self when they allow themselves to be overwhelmed by the emotions of others.
Difficulty helping
: feeling the emotions of others does not necessarily mean knowing how to help them.

Irrational empathy can lead to helplessness or a sense of frustration if experiences are not translated into concrete actions.

What can be done?
Set boundaries
: Learn to recognize when you are absorbing too much of others' emotions and set limits to protect your own energies.

Distinguish empathy from compassion
: Empathy focuses on "feeling" with the other, while compassion is a desire to alleviate suffering.

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I'll provide you with excerpts, a summary of published articles.

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Physiological and neurobiological characteristics
In general, alexithymics show reduced affective engagement with both facial expressions and emotional language and appear to be less accurate in recognizing the emotional facial expressions of others (Cecchetto C. et al., 2017).
Alexithymic individuals also exhibit reduced physiological reactivity, particularly during stressful situations (Wehmer F. et al., 1995).

At the neurobiological level, alexithymia has been associated with reduced activation of brain areas responsible for processing emotions:

the amygdala, involved in the evaluation of emotional stimuli;
the brain regions related to the mirror neuron system, responsible for the ability to feel empathy;
the dorsomedial prefrontal cortex, connected to the emotional aspects of decision-making;
the insula, involved in the recognition and expression of emotions (Kinnaird et al., 2019).
Psychological Characteristics
It is possible to identify the psychological alterations that typically occur in an alexithymic individual (Cantelmi T., 1999):

1. Alterations in the cognitive sphere
The alexithymic cognitive style is characterized by the presence of concrete, practical, externally oriented rather than introspective thinking.
Dialogue lacks emotional intensity, lacking references to internal experiences, desires, fears, and feelings.
Alexithymic individuals tend to describe events in rich detail, yet their communication is "flat," lacking in fantasy and imagination.

2. Alterations in the affective sphere
People with alexithymia exhibit difficulty evaluating and interpreting emotions, recognizing the underlying cause of their emotional feelings, and distinguishing between emotional states and bodily sensations.
Selective attention to physiological aspects could lead to somatization or pathological situations focused on "physical sensations," such as hypochondria.

3. Altered interaction with the environment
Despite enjoying good social adaptation, alexithymic individuals may develop difficulties in relationships.
The inability to recognize certain emotions could frustrate both their relationships with their partner and their relationships with others. Very often, alexithymics oscillate between loving behaviors and sudden, unmotivated detachments.
Furthermore, the lack of emotional exchange and effective communication could lead to constant arguments with their partner, who may become convinced that they are not interested in their emotional states.

4. Altered body expression
Postural rigidity and a lack of expressive facial movements, typical of alexithymic individuals, create a barrier that makes it difficult for others to get to know each other.
A mask that prevents us from being seen, recognized, and from connecting with our deepest and most intimate selves.
A glass dome surrounds our emotions, preventing us from defining them, organizing them, naming them, and experiencing them.
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Your questions are interesting.
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Some phases described here refer to theories by Giacomo Rizzolatti and others.
Moreover, by referring to mirror neurons, we can also outline other aspects, such as the neotenic aspects of some of us here.
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Alexithymia is currently recognized as a transnosographic construct, meaning it is associated with a spectrum of clinical conditions that encompass the broader concept of emotional dysregulation (Epifanio M.S. et al., 2014).
Therefore, it is not a specific risk factor for a specific pathology but rather a deficit in affective regulation.

This concept refers to the ability to regulate one's internal states, tolerate negative emotions by compensating them with positive ones without resorting to external stimuli (familiar people, places, or objects) or dysfunctional behaviors (eating, taking substances, self-harm).

We all experience primary emotions, even those with autism.
Many experience them very intensely and are aware of it.
Others, like me, should fit into my first statement in this section.
However, I noticed that some are not only indescribable in words, but I perceive (perceiving an awareness) that I don't feel them at all. Like love and hate, for example, I understand them because I have examples, but for me, it's as if they never take hold, as if they don't exist.

Wishing someone good, yes.
But love, at least as an essential feeling, is something well-defined, pure, that goes far beyond simply wanting someone good.

Hating is more than being severely annoyed by one or more people.
By the way, I noticed that, at least in me, some unpleasant feelings pass over time, flow away, and then, when it comes down to it, they're like snow in the sun, which melts it.

And the water that remains dries up.

I also don't get noticed as much, especially at school by other students, I have one friend, shes a sweetheart, I never understand why no one else enjoys my company as much as she does.

Welcome!
Why you seem different from the average girl there?
So, you don't fit those standards of "beauty" that others use to make you look interesting?

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Something similar happened to me.
In reality, I was the one who didn't understand anything.
A very pretty classmate of mine liked me.

I didn't realize it.
She had to tell me!
Explicitly.



p.s.sorry for my english i hope you understand

Amongst them but not of them? Byron but also subtitle of a scary (rather old but still often selectively quoted in recent papers) autism book and something she might have gotten right.

Not so philosophical but quite good at outbursts of random comments, weird connotations(uh... thanks google for making me sound classy but if weird it is by definition not a connotation... 'different word' associations... sounds corporate but that's the one) and strange brainfarts (spelling suggestion: brain arts... if you say so...). We will encounter each other more. (not after your queen crown... princess gets the benefits without responsibilities)

I know that despite my social isolation that it's not my fault. It's my autism that makes me that way. I am a good person who cares about the world and the people in it. The world also has other good people in it. Plenty of them.

The thread is very rich in ideas.

I noticed that phrase, also because it concerns me.
Walking among them without being noticed.

Aside from the sensory issues: which I defined as "like walking on the keys of an out-of-tune piano."
There were and are a lot of details that autistic people have sensory issues (I don't think others do, also because the spectrum is varied, and even if I applied mathematical laws related to logic, I would find hypotheses of great numerical variety; mathematics and the schematisms that represent it are applicable. Mathematics was a special interest of mine in school, and numbers still are).

In addition to not having great motor coordination (which I now mostly hide, except for falling objects or a sort of difficult control of things, even if I know their exact position), I walked on tiptoe.

Until not so many years ago.

I corrected this with motor strategies, dance, and therefore physical preparation for the movement to be performed.

Changing the way you walk is not at all usual. I'd say that since it's instinctive, it involves not only the brain (I won't write what happens because I'd be explaining things that might be difficult to understand, technical/medical, and not useful here), but also the body posture. Therefore, in the first entry, using the masculine noun, the definition encompasses it entirely: the static, dynamic, and facial posture of the body, which is difficult to correct.

Sometimes I'm not good at understanding people's faces.
Even if I memorize them precisely, even after seeing them only once.
I can't find or immediately find a correlation with a known person if they're in a different environment than usual.

You can recognize people by walking.
For example, in a film with Keanu Reeves (Siddharta), he was even unrecognizable.
What struck me most was that I recognized him by the way he walked; he was facing away, so I couldn't even see his face.

This passage may be a bit off topic, but here in Milan, for example, and elsewhere, Body Guards are hired in luxury stores; they're of African ethnicity.

I remember (those who know Milan may understand how popular that street is) that on Corso Buenos Aires, one of them looked at me.
What amazed me was that at that moment there were hundreds of people, passersby and cars.
I wondered what had struck him about me.

He smiled at me when he realized I'd reached into my pocket to get my wallet!
He captured details in a sea of ​​ultra-complex details. I wrote "African" because they have retained a special ability to immediately understand the movements of even a single person in a crowd of people.

In fact, they're always the ones hired in personnel selections.
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Walking among people: after a couple of years of physical exercise (dancers have considerable physical preparation), I've changed the way I place my feet and my posture.

One foot is imperceptibly crooked, and my left shoulder is too, but it's not noticeable.
Some people (a few) notice how I place my right foot.

I also notice details, even if I hide this attitude.
And I noticed this.
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One of the most beautiful things I've solved is walking among people without being noticed as different.

It only happens to me when people are sitting and observing whoever passes by them on the street.
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My father was also a model, so he knew how to walk exemplarily.
I don't.
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Another thing people notice is that autistic people look differently than neurotypicals.

Either too much, or not with enough intensity, or they avoid eye contact.

Or he can't figure out when to do it.
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I haven't read that story you're describing.
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I honestly got lost in the final part of the post above mine: it's difficult for me to use that form of linguistic interaction.
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Sometimes, I use it empirically, like I study people.
An acquaintance of mine, some time ago, pretended not to see me pass by.
It was impossible not to see me because I passed in front of him by 50 cm, and I was the only one there.
He looked as if through me.
Sometimes I catalog things, in a functional way.
Among these: people's glances.

Also because I can't decipher them.

I don't know if something similar to what I wrote happens to you too...

The next time I did was exactly what he did to me: ignore him.

The third time: he was the one who greeted me.

I found it a bit surreal

Last edited by Huckleberry Finn on 24 Sep 2025, 4:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I didn't mean to make you get lost. I mainly keep my communications short. My brain exhausts me.

I was very skilled at Mathematics as a young boy. But I didn't get to carry that skill into adulthood unfortunately. I became very troubled as a teenager and have never recovered from that.

But this is the joy thread...

I also sometimes find myself keeping communications extremely brief.
a) It's often useless
b) Always: it's very stressful

Regarding mathematics, the human mind usually specializes in something else.
So it's normal to lose skills that aren't used continuously.
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A researcher friend of mine often said: there are no wrong answers, only wrong questions.
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You have to try to understand what your mind has specialized in.

Not what you've lost over time.

But what you've gained over time, if anything.
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I know what social isolation is.
I was a hikikomori.
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In any case, your experience is normal for most of us with autism.
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Autism affects the neurodevelopmental sphere that involves language, social interaction, and communication. People on the autism spectrum may experience difficulties with social interaction, restricted interests, repetitive behaviors, and impaired sensory perception, including hypersensitivity to light, sounds, or physical contact.

At least 78 million people worldwide live on the spectrum. The majority lack access to appropriate care (healthcare, education, and social assistance) based on personalized assessments and evidence-based support. This makes it essential to have multimodal (approaches that combine different strategies, therapies, or modalities to address a complex problem) and personalized interventions, including educational, therapeutic, and family support.

In Italy, according to the National Institute of Health, one in 77 children between the ages of 7 and 9 is diagnosed with autism, equivalent to approximately 1.3%. Overall, it is estimated that between 500,000 and 600,000 Italians live on the autism spectrum, with a clear prevalence in males over females.

*Anthony Attwood explains that there isn't actually a 1:4 ratio in autism between males and females.
But rather, a 1:1 ratio.
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Autism Etymology: The term autism derives from the Ancient Greek "autós" (αὖτός), meaning "oneself," and "ismos" (ισμός), indicating a state or condition.

The term autism was coined by Swiss psychiatrist Eugen Bleuler in 1911 to describe one of the symptoms of schizophrenia. However, the term was later used to indicate a separate disorder, characterized by difficulties in communication and social interaction.

The first historical use of the concept of autism dates back to the 17th century, when English philosopher John Locke used "idiotism" to indicate a condition of mental isolation and inability to learn. However, it was only in the 20th century that autism was recognized as a specific neurodevelopmental disorder.

The etymology of autism helps us better understand the meaning of this term and its evolution over time. In particular, the Greek root "autós" reminds us that autism is a condition that affects relationships with oneself and others, and requires special attention and adequate support.

In conclusion, autism is a neurodevelopmental disorder that affects communication and social interaction, interests, and activities. Its definition and meaning may vary depending on the context in which it is used.

Research published to date suggests that approximately 83% of all cases are attributable to genetic causes.

The remaining 17% remains an unknown (in mathematics, you'd use the letter "X" to define it).

After Bleuler in 1911, there was a Russian neurologist in 1924. A twelve-year-old boy, by all accounts very different from his peers, was brought to the Moscow Clinic for evaluation. He preferred the company of adults to that of children, and books to toys. He read everything he could. The movements of his lanky body were slow and somewhat clumsy. At the clinic, a talented doctor carefully followed the boy's case. She noted that he was inclined to philosophical discussion and that he was gifted with exceptional intelligence. Her diagnosis defined him as "an introverted type, with an autistic propensity toward himself." Grunya Efimovna Sukhareva: the child neuropsychiatrist who provided the first definition of the autism spectrum, which has long been relegated to unjustifiable oblivion.

Of Jewish origin, Sukhareva was born in Kiev in 1891 into a wealthy and progressive family that allowed her to pursue her interests and choose her studies. In 1915, she graduated from the Women's Medical Institute in the Ukrainian capital and soon after found work in the Institute's hospital, in the Department of Epidemiology.

Oh this I very much like. I have a feeling if we ever got together, we would be so chatty. It doesn't matter if we understood, it's just good to let out the words that are so meaningful to us. In fact, I think we should create a book of neurodivergent poetry. That would be so fascinating!