Is your writing self perpetuating, it feeds back into itself to churn out more material? I find that idea quite interesting for myself, and sometimes, I'll read something which unlocks it in my written response - but then, if the space in which I respond is not intentionally meant for that type of writing, I'll obviously hold it in check. But I don't want to. I want to let it go free sometimes.
Maybe it goes back to when I read about surrealist automatic writing. Or it's just too many late nights recently tipping me toward a more creative but not quite 100% awake state. I'm out of my usual routine and sleep pattern. Brain feels a little foggy.
I was dreaming last night. But right now sat in t-shirt/shorts although it's not warm enough. I'm chilly but not doing anything about it. Sat here, reading, writing. The theme from recurring dreams several years ago or more: haunted houses, creepy corridors, stairways that twist round in odd ways, landings at the wrong level, doors I shouldn't go through. The chilly feeling right now reminds me, I woke up with my top cold through lack of duvet cover, from one of those dreams.
A self perpetuating logic. What I read is scattered across the internet and social media.
A self perpetuating logic, a programming language rewriting its own programming; computes the manifestation of stairs in the dream, right before the dreamer's eyes. Appear out of nothing. [a related dream from an unspecified number of years ago].
If brave I'll climb up and ascend to some weird corner of the universe dream where I don't know if I'll continue to exist or not, or find the real me or not, or be diffused into madness, or complete obliteration of my self.
The door I shouldn't go through.
Is there actually a door I shouldn't go through in my mind?
Or was the thing I read/watched/listened to, suggesting such doors exist in the mind, an allegory I've taken too literally.
Or do such doors only exist for altered states.
The door is ajar.
I might close it. Things to do.
22 Sep 2025, 3:28 pm
