Any recommended calming/coping strageties? :<

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for some reason, i keep getting meltdowns, crying a lot, and arguments with my parents almost every day. I dont know much coping skills besides from deep pressure therapy n taking deep breaths.

btw i have been diagnosed w/ aspergers and my therapist speculates me to have depression, and anxiety.

so, can anyone help? pls?

thx..

So you may want to check out some skills called Dialectical Behavior Therapy, or DBT. I've found it really helpful for when the BIG feelings take over.

There are some books especially for teens. For example, "The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Teens".

One skill I learned is called "opposite action." So if I am feeling really angry, but I know I'm kinda overdoing it, I'll do some things to defuse it, like list things I'm grateful for. Or if I'm feeling sad, my inclination is to isolate myself (which doesn't help), so I'll do the opposite and engage with this message board.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog ... tic-people
It may work if you can find the right therapist knowledgeable in helping someone with autism.

I find it helpful to spend time with a special interest to get my mind off issues.

Playing golf is what I do now.

I used to assemble puzzles. Or make model rockets.

You are too young to drink. But I think it's OK to have herbal teas (no caffeine)? Chamomile, lavender and passionflower are calming. You can also find pre-blended tea bags. Just look for words like calm, relax, or maybe even nighttime. Just the ritual of making steaming hot tea can be calming. Maybe offer to make everyone a cup of relaxing tea, too so they're less likely to argue with you. I offer my mom some every time she visited us.

I start the day by making tea. I buy my favorite teas in one pound bags.
I put a couple ounces of looseleaf tea into small metal tins on the kitchen counter.
An electric kettle heats the water to 205* for black tea and I seep the tea for 4 minutes.

Having a cup of tea
Listening to music
Meditation
Pepto Bismol

Some young Aspies use hand flapping. This tends to alarm others. As one gets older more subtle methods of tactile stimulation can be useful. Greeks were ablr to use worry beads and be culturally acceptable,

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Worry_beads

A similar effect can be achieved by rubbing your index finger across the thumb nail and hardly be noticeable to others.

Most anti-anxiety strategies involve finding a time or place where one can have a sense of control. Many younger people (still living at home) come to rely on escaping into reading books.

If you start with the assumption that Aspergers is a neurological variant that presents with a faster, more complex, or more sensitive neurology, you can see where having to process what can seem like an avalanche of sensory information can be taxing.

Sometimes people will get irritated if you take time to respond to questions or otherwise process that with which you are presented. Coming up with statements such as, "I am thinking about it", "can I have a few minutes", or "can I get back to you" can be ways of letting people know you are not ignoring them.

Nice your post!

§

In the emergency room 47 days ago, they gave me immunoglobulins.
The doctor had Asperger's.
We even talked (we understood each other immediately).

He mistook it for an Asperger's gesture, a problem I had with blood circulation in my hands.

My blood wasn't circulating well, and I even felt cold; my hands and fingers were white.

He told me it was a good way to relax.

Actually, my blood circulation wasn't working at all at first!

It took me 15 minutes, but I did it.

I'm not mentioning a book I just remembered!

Funny!

HF

Social skills can be addressed.

So, you can be sure you'll benefit from it psychologically.

As for the rest, your doctor, if he's not a psychiatrist or neurologist, should ask you to collaborate.

The rest is clearly related to your psychological distress:
So, carefully evaluate with precision medicine whether and if targeted medications are needed; only very few, and those should be used immediately (it can be done).

Social skills can be addressed.

So, you can be sure you'll benefit from it psychologically.

As for the rest, your doctor, if he's not a psychiatrist or neurologist, should ask you to collaborate.

The rest is clearly related to your psychological distress:
So, carefully evaluate with precision medicine whether and if targeted medications are needed; only very few, and those should be used immediately (it can be done).
Social skills can be addressed.

So, you can be sure you'll benefit from it psychologically.

As for the rest, your doctor, if he's not a psychiatrist or neurologist, should ask you to collaborate.

The rest is clearly related to your psychological distress:
So, carefully evaluate with precision medicine whether and if targeted medications are needed; only very few, and those should be used immediately (it can be done).

Axiety and depression, if not pathological, are perfectly normal, so doctors will know what and how to decide based on your specific case.
If they cause concomitant pathologies with autism, they absolutely must be treated.

Because otherwise, they become chronic.

From what you describe, it's important to immediately evaluate and obtain a psychologically based therapy and (perhaps not necessarily essential) a pharmacologic therapy for anxiety and depression.

*Trust only doctors; our opinions here on the forum are merely indicative. Don't get psychologically discouraged.

Of course; we understand every detail of what you're going through.

§
Meanwhile, if you have any problems, write here; you'll certainly find people who will guide you in the right direction.
§
It's normal for you to have interactions of that kind with your parents.
They absolutely must be involved in therapy to support and understand you. They can't help you because it's their duty, and I'm sure they will!
They don't know what you're going through.
And of which you are a part.

I think that intelligent people who love you, if adequately informed, will certainly be able to understand and help you.

Please, I'm so sorry I didn't read your age: you're 13!

Medications: let's avoid them, then.

Only therapies in specialized autism centers.

It's absolutely normal for any teenager to have even a parent help in these situations: it's completely normal for them.

It's normal for you to have this happen.

Write down everything you do here, absolutely involving your parents, and don't read potentially flawed advice online.

Here you'll find support and advice appropriate to your young age.

Forum members will take care of it, I'm sure.

If you need appropriate advice, write to the moderators: Cornflake and others.

We're all willing to help.

So always remember one thing: you'll never be alone.

Stay here. Sorry, I didn't read your age. You have enormous possibilty to overcome any difficulty, okay?

Write to the moderators if you have immediate difficulties.

They'll be ready to give you the most sensible help there is.

Remember: you're not alone here.and depression, if not pathological, are perfectly normal, so doctors will know what and how to decide based on your specific case.
If they cause concomitant pathologies with autism, they absolutely must be treated.

Because otherwise, they become chronic.

From what you describe, it's important to immediately evaluate and obtain a psychologically based therapy and (perhaps not necessarily essential) a pharmacologic therapy for anxiety and depression.

*Trust only doctors; our opinions here on the forum are merely indicative. Don't get psychologically discouraged.

Of course; we understand every detail of what you're going through.

§
Meanwhile, if you have any problems, write here; you'll certainly find people who will guide you in the right direction.
§
It's normal for you to have interactions of that kind with your parents.
They absolutely must be involved in therapy to support and understand you. They can't help you because it's their duty, and I'm sure they will!
They don't know what you're going through.
And of which you are a part.

I think that intelligent people who love you, if adequately informed, will certainly be able to understand and help you.

Please, I'm so sorry I didn't read your age: you're 13!

Medications: let's avoid them, then.

Only therapies in specialized autism centers.

It's absolutely normal for any teenager to have even aparent help in these situations: it's completely normal for them.

It's normal for you to have this happen.

Write down everything you do here, absolutely involving your parents, and don't read potentially flawed advice online.

Here you'll find support and advice appropriate to your young age.

If not, it'll be me; forum members will take care of it, I'm sure.

If you need appropriate advice, write to the moderators: Cornflake and others.

We're all willing to help.

So always remember one thing: you'll never be alone.

Stay here. Sorry, I didn't read your age. You have enormous limits to overcome any difficulty, okay?

Write to the moderators if you have immediate difficulties.

They'll be ready to give you the most sensible help there is.

Remember: you're not alone here. and depression, if not pathological, are perfectly normal, so doctors will know what and how to decide based on your specific case.
If they cause concomitant pathologies with autism, they absolutely must be treated.

Because otherwise, they become chronic.

From what you describe, it's important to immediately evaluate and obtain a psychologically based therapy and (perhaps not necessarily essential) a pharmacologic therapy for anxiety and depression.

*Trust only doctors; our opinions here on the forum are merely indicative. Don't get psychologically discouraged.

Of course; we understand every detail of what you're going through.

§
Meanwhile, if you have any problems, write here; you'll certainly find people who will guide you in the right direction.
§
It's normal for you to have interactions of that kind with your parents.
They absolutely must be involved in therapy to support and understand you. They can't help you because it's their duty, and I'm sure they will!
They don't know what you're going through.
And of which you are a part.

I think that intelligent people who love you, if adequately informed, will certainly be able to understand and help you.

Please, I'm so sorry I didn't read your age: you're 13!

Medications: let's avoid them, then.

Only therapies in specialized autism centers.

It's absolutely normal for any teenager to have even a grandparent help in these situations: it's completely normal for them.

It's normal for you to have this happen.

Write down everything you do here, absolutely involving your parents, and don't read potentially flawed advice online.

Here you'll find support and advice appropriate to your young age.

If not, it'll be me; forum members will take care of it, I'm sure.

If you need appropriate advice, write to the moderators: Cornflake and others.

We're all willing to help.

So always remember one thing: you'll never be alone.

Stay here. Sorry, I didn't read your age.

Write to the moderators if you have immediate difficulties.

They'll be ready to give you the most sensible help there is.

Remember: you're not alone here.

tbh its gonna probably be different for a lot of people {except for meds} me personaliy i just chew on clothing like a goat to relax, been doing it since i was 6 lol but i recommend just fidgeting or smth imagine drawing on the roof of your mouth or smth. anything to ignore everything else or smth

I find it helps to listen to the same song over and over again.
YouTube lets you "loop" a song by clicking and bringing up a hidden menu.

I like to take a baseball bat into the forest far enough in that I can't be heard. Then I start beating up a tree with the bat and yelling about what ever has me worked up. I only do this when I get stuck in a rage that I can't release. Only happens once every few years that I get that bad.

aww, thank you! <3

also u lowkey kinda repeated urself, but its fine! (sorry hehe..)

and i agree here.. i know that i def need 2 target social skills n stuff but i also alr know that i shouldnt trust online schmuts all the time cuz they can be misinformation.... and its true that my parents dont know what im going through. flashbacks to a slap that made me bleed once (ty, mother. /sarc), school stress, and idk what else but some pretty heavy things i guess.. but my mum signed me up for therapy in a place that isint specifically 4 autism but thankfully, it does have support for autism but not therapies thats completely related 2 it, yk?

so thank u, once again...

seems alright! although, i must admit, i kinda do the same chewing thing but with my md plushies hehe..

Welcome to Wrong Planet

As discussed above, any stimming that is natural for you helps.

It would help to know the reasons your meltdowns happen so you are not constantly melting down or on the brink of a meltdown. There are usually a number of reasons they happen, and they have to do with constantly having to do things that are not natural for you. For autistics, common reasons are sensory overload, constant uncomfortable social situations, and having to multitask.