Sudden reservations and doubts about marriage

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Joined: 30 Aug 2022
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22 Oct 2025, 7:16 pm

I want to know how to stop obsessing over being married!! !

This awful obsession has hijacked my mind and I want to get rid of it!

David is a truly good guy but...imprisonment!!

PLEASE help

Thanks in advance!! !

Texasmoneyman300
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23 Oct 2025, 12:53 am

Why do you want to get married if you think its imprisonment? I would not go through with the wedding if you are having serious doubts about it.

Mikurotoro92
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23 Oct 2025, 1:18 am

Texasmoneyman300 wrote:

Why do you want to get married if you think its imprisonment? I would not go through with the wedding if you are having serious doubts about it.

For the experience mostly

Now that marriage is actually close to happening I am beginning to panic!! !

Seeing the bad side of marital life (a.k.a imprisonment) has caused me to hit the brakes on the whole thing...

Texasmoneyman300
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23 Oct 2025, 1:45 am

Well I dont think that getting married just so you can have a big wedding is a good idea. Divorce is a very hard thing to go through.

Mikurotoro92
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23 Oct 2025, 1:58 am

Texasmoneyman300 wrote:

Well I dont think that getting married just so you can have a big wedding is a good idea. Divorce is a very hard thing to go through.

I know, it's a petty and shallow reason to get married but I also DO truly love David

MartineRomy
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23 Oct 2025, 4:01 am

Mikurotoro92 wrote:

I also DO truly love David

That is the most important :heart:

Important step, feeling anxious is normal.

Bataar
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23 Oct 2025, 10:47 am

Why do you think of it as imprisonment?

Mikurotoro92
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23 Oct 2025, 4:50 pm

Bataar wrote:

Why do you think of it as imprisonment?

Because to me...it IS!! !

When you decide to get married you basically sign a contract stating that you belong to the other person until death or divorce

That means you sign yourself up to be voluntarily imprisoned in the relationship which is 100% BAD! !! !! !

I'm just being smart and self-aware about all of this which is a good thing!

Marriage is overrated IMHO

Mikurotoro92
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24 Oct 2025, 12:29 am

Mikurotoro92 wrote:

Bataar wrote:

Why do you think of it as imprisonment?

Because to me...it IS!! !

When you decide to get married you basically sign a contract stating that you belong to the other person until death or divorce

That means you sign yourself up to be voluntarily imprisoned in the relationship which is 100% BAD! ! ! ! ! !

I'm just being smart and self-aware about all of this which is a good thing!

Marriage is overrated IMHO

The only reason I ever wanted it was to say I had the experience like everyone else!! !

Bataar
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24 Oct 2025, 9:46 am

Mikurotoro92 wrote:

Bataar wrote:

Why do you think of it as imprisonment?

Because to me...it IS!! !

When you decide to get married you basically sign a contract stating that you belong to the other person until death or divorce

That means you sign yourself up to be voluntarily imprisoned in the relationship which is 100% BAD! ! ! ! ! !

I'm just being smart and self-aware about all of this which is a good thing!

Marriage is overrated IMHO

If you don't want to get married, then for God's sake, break up with the man. Don't lead him on or go go through with the marriage only to ruin his life later on with a divorce.

Jakki
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24 Oct 2025, 10:04 am

Agrees with above. Marriage is a commitment . If your not personally ready ? Do not damage another persons life .
For the experience . Personally added a year of living together first , To see if I could hack it. Having to be responsible for anothers life . Can be quite Daunting ? . But in exchange , there are the deep feelings of Love . And having someone
else that is willing to be responsible for your life Aswell. You will face each others disappointments in life.Aswell as the joys. Sit down with your intended and make a list of ? What each of you are willing to be for the other . Or where each others limits might be ?. If having someone,you love and care for ? to go through the Part of : Until "Death do us part",
Then sign up for the experience/ Job. If not , Do Not.(( Best Wishes Either Way.))

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enz
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24 Oct 2025, 4:50 pm

Mikurotoro92 wrote:

The only reason I ever wanted it was to say I had the experience like everyone else!! !

I think you've got your answer

Bataar wrote:

If you don't want to get married, then for God's sake, break up with the man. Don't lead him on or go go through with the marriage only to ruin his life later on with a divorce.

Or just not get married so OP can keep her freedom

Texasmoneyman300
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24 Oct 2025, 5:23 pm

I think yall should not get married since you dont like the idea of marriage and also because divorce could really harm yall.

cyberdora
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24 Oct 2025, 5:53 pm

I don't know the OP from a can of paint.

But so long as you have lived with David for at least several years and you both know each other inside and you are comfortable with each other's company. then it's hardly imprisonment is it.

On the other hand if you have never lived with David before and your only interaction is texting/phones, or in coffee shops or bars, then getting married is like playing Russian roulette. In the latter scenario you may not like David as much as you thought and then worst case your options will be a) divorce or b) being trapped (some men are highly manipulative and wont let you leave a marriage).

If on reflection you don't know David well enough then a sensible course of action is try living with him for a while before walking down the aisle. I wish you the best and hope you have made the right choice.

Mikurotoro92
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24 Oct 2025, 8:09 pm

cyberdora wrote:

What you said about men being highly manipulative and not allowing you to leave a marriage is EXACTLY what I am referring to with imprisonment!! !

That's what I'm talking about!

Jakki
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24 Oct 2025, 8:30 pm

Make him put it in the marriage agreement . but usually , marriage doesnt equal complete freedom . It may mean you may have to show up . For divorce court . But it , does sound like you have enough going on with you to know your own mind. But let your needs be known.. in writing then . Kinda like an escape clause in a business contract .

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