Why is moving so difficult?

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I have moved offices and home in one year. It is incredibly stressful. Is it because of a change in routine? I've always had difficulty moving since I was a kid. It's overwhelming for me. What's making it more difficult is my mom passed away and she was a hoarder, so I'm cleaning out her stuff as well. Any advice, I'd really appreciate.

Thank you!
Sara

It's really hard to move when you've lost someone.

Question: When you think about getting up and moving, do you feel physically weak? Like you almost want to lie down and take a nap instead?

its a lot to process, constant decision making (as in sorting your moms stuff) and some of it to most of it done under pressure to perform NOW. On top of that the loss on a personal level of mom and all the details around that, emotional homework being done... tons of stuff to process that you would not ordinarily have to deal with all packed into a short time frame demanding immediate attention. Yes, absolutely overwhelming!! !! Sending best wishes for a peaceful transition, comfort over your losses (not just mom but the changes you are dealing with associated with moving as well) and urging you to do your best self care. get the rest, hydration, breaks, food, etc that you need as you go through this. You are carrying a lot, and dealing with loads of stuff mentally and emotionally as well as physically, all at once. Don't forget to take care of yourself.

I offer my condolences on the loss of your Mom. That would be horrible.

And, I think any change that affected everything I did and saw would be distressing.

Regarding the new home...I gather part of the difficulty is the remains of your Mom's hoard. I don't know but I suspect that if you somehow manage to break the getting-rid-of task into smaller, more manageable chunks so you can track your progress, that might help.

A few of suggestions to share...

1. It doesn't matter (to me at least), why moving is so difficult. I hear you asking for support for something that is difficult for you. Knowing why is likely to be less important when you have the empathy and help you crave. Do you agree?

2. Moving is difficult for us all - both NTs and NDs. Being ND makes it harder as does the sheer complexity of the tasks in front of you. No need to apologize or let the simple fact that it's difficult add to your burden. Yes, moving is difficult, so is the death of a parent and an embarrassing hoard to deal with. Virtual hugs on you. Breath deeply. I'm shedding a tear in sympathy. Sorry you can't see it.

3. As NDs, most of us were not taught adequate self-soothing skills. And, our bodies do not recover from stresses as fast as most NTs. So plan extra time to chill out and let the flood of hormones that push you off balance clear out whenever you need to.

4. We live in a culture where we are supposed to be independent and self-sufficient. What a crock! We all need help and companionship some of the time. Have you tried asking a friend of neighbor to come and hang out with you while you're sorting out you mother's stuff? The friend doesn't have to pay any attention to what you are doing, just be there reading a book, answering emails, or something else. One of my friends and I sometimes start a Zoom session while we're working in our separate homes. Most of the time we don't communicate - we're just virtually present. Every once in a while one of us looks up and says something like "Hey, how's it going?" The other may say, "Fine," and we go back to what we were doing. Or, we may take a break and chat for a while. Just a thought...

Good luck, Sara, and congratulations for sharing what you need. Some of us really get off on offering our ideas and, if we're lucky, really helping.

Cheers, Liza

I moved cross-country last year and despite how much I hated where I formerly lived, doing that move made me feel like grieving the loss of someone.

I do believe that change hits us particularly hard. But to have this huge change happening on top of grieving the loss of a family member is something I can't even fathom. I am so sorry that you are going through this.

According to some books, autistics have more difficulty coping with change than neurotypicals.

But moving takes a lot of time money and energy

You have to do a lot of things . Some of them are tedious, or difficult

Failure to adapt

Change in routine

Neuroplasticity

when you move, you have to make a lot of changes. drastic, permanent, immediate. and if you fail to adapt to change, then significant consequences result.

changes:
work
transportation
living situation
neighborhood/grocery, routine, things like that
social

Neuroplasticity

I just moved not too long ago and it is one of the hardest things I have done for so many different reasons. I used to want to move every year but this move cured me of that.

"Moving" covers a wide range of scenarios.

When I was in college, or in an apartment near a work-location I would only be using for a few years, or in an apartment which I was using to buy time until I could do something more permanent moving was trivial. My stuff could fit in a couple of suitcases and a few boxes here's the key for the place I'm leaving, where's the key for the new place?

But...I bought this townhouse in 1986 and my bride moved in when we married in 2000. Psychologically, I could move easily. Logistically, it would take a lot of work!
^{By they way, most of the stuff is hers!}

Speaking as one who has lived in 6 countries, my advice is just to plod on without giving it too much thought! Then one day, wonder of wonders; it’s finished!