Looking for alternative perspectives on marriage!! !

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I wanted to ask if anyone on WP who was (or is) married actually hated marriage and thought of it as imprisonment?

The reason I ask this is because it seems like every married couple who I have talked to has said they enjoy being married which I believe has to do with God/religion dictating that you enjoy marriage so I wanted a different perspective!

Thanks in advance!! !

There's some members on this forum who like being married or are happyish living with long-term relationship partners & are not religious. I'm one of them; I'm agnostic about god & tend to look down on religion due to seeing it as controlling herd mentality.

That said I know there are also members on this forum who hated being married & felt trapped due to abuse but I'm not gonna single anyone out & mention who.

^the thing is, with marriage it's dynamic and always-changing meaning that even if it starts out without the intent of imprisonment it can eventually turn into that! !!

People change over the course of their relationship

Sometimes for the better & sometimes for the worse which is what I believe that part of the wedding vows ("for better or for worse") actually refers to!

I think marriage is kinda stupid because it's built around the idea that humans mate for life, which we don't. We don't have yearly mating seasons like some animals do, but we still fall in and out of love all the time. I remember seeing a figure that said three years is about the maximum amount of time for the cycle to happen. After that, you may still love each other, but you're not "in love" anymore. Then you get the seven year itch as they say, and people start cheating on each other.

I was married for a year, then watched the movie Adam 2009. Then realised that's me.

I married because I was forced to by my parents. They were basically bullies. And gave me no choice. Either I get thrown out (which has happened several times) so I couldn't break up with her and then just thought the only way out was to get married to get them off my back. Nothing changed for me after getting married. I absolutely resented her.

My mother and my ex manipulated me. And was convinced that whatever I said, is wrong and they were the only ones who were in the right.

Got divorced and joined wrong planet. Been in some sort of relationships. But it has all come to an end. I am unable to find a match and I have been weighed and measured. Even my posts gets deleted here on wrong planet.

I'll never be enough.

Happiness has nothing to do with religion. Unhappiness, however, can come from religion.
It's not a "one or the other" thing though. There's good religion and bad religion. Good religion "allows" you the freedom you already are entitled to. Bad religion is controlling and judgmental.

And enjoying marriage because your religion tells you to is not enjoying anything at all.

People who enjoy being married are just enjoying each other.

I'm an atheist. I'm married (to an NT man). I don't feel it's an imprisonment. However I have noticed guys at work not flirting with me any more since being married.

I haven't flirted with any men (apart from my husband) since I first met him, but sometimes I do miss flirting. But I cannot do it, because I'd just feel too guilty and disloyal to my husband. I feel guilty enough for being deeply in love with Stephen Foster, but my husband has truthfully said several times that he is not offended. I still like to ask every now and then though, just to make sure. But really he doesn't mind. He's even bought me a personalised cushion with a photo of Foster on of his own accord, because he knows how much I love him.

I think Mikurotoro ought to read Heinlein's "Stranger in a strange land"

I don't think you "have" to get married in order to raise a family. Weddings are pretty much expensive, anyway.

Heck, considering how bad my father was, I wouldn't mind being raised as a bastard child if I could rewind time. *SMH*