On being an elder

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Now that we’ve racked up some experience in navigating planet Earth, how do we show our empathy with the rest of the inmates?

I design learning environments for people who don’t thrive in conventional classrooms. What do you do?

Wow, I would have loved that when I was a kid. That sounds really awesome.

I'm still in recovery from all the ways I was trounced on for being kind, soooo... my contribution is keeping good boundaries. I'm very much a supporter of safe space in social situations, and learning environments. I haven't really found that to be a popular idea in this world, but it's a big world and there are lots of people I haven't met yet.

I used to write software. Interminably. I didn’t know anything about autism back then of course. Back in the seventies, being paid good money to be left alone to sit in a corner cutting code seemed like what god intended. Interpersonal relationships were an unexplored mystery.

Now, a quarter century on from discovering the missing pieces and a decade into retirement I helps old folks get comfortable with their devices, make cats happy, and play on the fringes of technology puzzling over whether there’s any point.

I think the things people have posted here so far are really awesome.

I am currently writing software. Unfortunately my employers seem to think we should all work together in open plan offices, which I do not thrive in very much. They let us work from home 2 days and 3 half days per week, which helps. My ideal life is to be left alone working patiently in a corner somewhere Americans seem to have this idea that coworkers are supposed to bully one another to increase productivity. (Sorry, critiquing that view is my personal hobby horse.)

I try to set a good example for my younger colleagues by being honest and transparent about things, and admitting my mistakes with humility and then fixing them when they happen. A lot of young people are very intensely competitive and perfectionistic these days, so I think that's setting a good example for them.

I have considered doing something else that's more directly centered around being helpful, but I don't know what that would be yet. There used to be a lot of opportunities for that in government employment in the U.S. Maybe they'll come back eventually.

Due to my lack of sovial skills overall, and still seemingly able to get on with a very few individuals . And getting screwed over by people whom I thought might be at least indifferent to my offerings of ideas or thoughts ,that might affect them in a positive way, and having those same people ,consider it as a weakness in me. And go a long ways to take advantage of that same situation and even them expressing a need for alittle money ( my naivete).And of course my helping anyhow. Put me off to helping people as a elder, and conversely ,that great once in a while,where I have helped a individual to realize their potential. It has been very rewarding to me . Giving me a sense thst I have contributed back to someone somewhere at sometimes. The rest of the interactions I try to chalk up to experience?
So in my giving back it has been a case by case situation with certsin individuals these days ,if the advise or help is allowed or even dedired by them. Otherwise just try to show people different possibilties and possible outcomes by example. Am careful how I may offer help , often it can be unwelcome as well.

I think you are very wise, Jakki.

I'm not sure if I am old enough to partake of elderhood at a mere 41. I'm starting to get the aches and pains though, so I think there should be some compensation

But I do really value the wisdom that age gives to people. My grandparents were very important to me growing up. It sounds cliche maybe but I think it's true that our elders are a treasure of experience and deserve our respect. Even if it can be challenging to handle it gracefully when they are skeptical of your "new" ideas (which may or may not be really new or useful).

I'm 58 so probably in this bracket.

As I've gotten older there's 10 x things I know now which I wish I could have told my 20 yr old self.
1. Don't be anxious about what other people think of you, when you peel away the BS they are just as lost as you are
2. Don't be perturbed when people ignore you, you have the same right to be in the space they think they deserve to occupy.
3. All religion and philosophy is a bunch of made up stuff
4. Follow your own path. Don't listen to others. Do your own research and work out what's best for you.
5. All relationships are ultimately transactional, find your own meaning in a relationship that makes sense to you, socially and/or emotionally
6. Close friends are over-rated, networking is for career progression
7. the best fun and most profound experiences you are going to have is with people you cross paths with and never see again
8. when you look back on your life, don't carry any regrets, what's done is done.
9. Don't be anxious about where you are heading in the future. we are all going to the same place
10. Live in the present.

'Now that we’ve racked up some experience in navigating planet Earth, how do we show our empathy with the rest of the inmates'? - That's brilliant