I must be a failure according to some

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I remember listening to an interview last night about toxic masculinity and male loneliness and this guy was explaining that according to statistics he was quoting from 1 in 3 men who haven't had a relationship or cohabiting with a woman by the age of 30 will "become a substance-abuser". Well, so far I haven't abused any substances and nor do I want to either. He also mentioned how more people between 20 and 30 spend "less time outside than prison inmates" and that the number of men in their 30s with kids in the home was 60% 40 years ago and now it's 27%. He's probably right there on that last point but I still find it hard to not feel like the only one despite that percentage.

I guess we don't all fit those statistics.

I have ADHD and anxiety disorder, so statistically I'm supposed to be prone to alcoholism or drug abuse, and people with anxiety usually turn to those too to numb their pain or whatever, but I don't do either. Emetophobia might have something to do with it with me though, because I avoid anything that even has the slightest chance of making me vomit.

I don't understand why we make arbitrary dates as to when we want to achieve something by like for example, 13 things to do before 30 because I seem to think that if you get past that age, it's as though you have "failed" and there is no point anymore? Since my early 20s I have perhaps thought about being a writer but I haven't published anything by now as I still have only ideas on documents. I have written by pen, a few chapters for a book as a side project but it's been a while since I've been back to it.

I want to be a writer as well but I can only write lengthy novels by hand. My attention span seems shorter on a keyboard or screen.