Hate being touched

Post Reply New Topic

Too intimate

And often scares me

There is no way to distinguish between "good" and "bad" touching, so I just don't touch precious lil "people" altogether

Might be common...
Working in Brussels for third time, bxl people like to touch people more... (french thing? or our dutch side too distant...)

Made it clear when I had interview I don't like being touched. Most coworkers do pay attention to it. Mostly some handshaking but several even stick to waving. (I know some of the wavers know why and are also aliens visiting)

Perhaps now I could stand it better but don't know how to respond to it... Not exactly from a hugging family.

"knucklebumping"
handshaking
hugging

startles me
some cultures do physical contact more than Chinese
chinese don't really do that much physical contact

coronavirus, less physical contact

I'm one of the rare Aspies who like being touched. It makes me feel connected, which is what those of us with ADHD and RSD love.

it confuses me why strangers go and touch other people, and people randomly hug others its confusing I only don't mind being touched when I trust someone.

About all I feel comfortable with nowadays is a fist bump ... about it for me.

I find it overwhelming.

I learnt to hug in my 20s. I appreciate the gesture but in general I have to have a lot of forewarning or my capacity to process just shuts down. There are very occasional exceptions, one or two people over the course of my life to date, people I could happily cuddle with all day.

Do you touch animals, shortfatbalduglyman? Dogs or cats, for example? Is it just human touch you don't like?

yeah it's difficult, some ways i like some i dont. people seem to assume i don't like being touched (or that i hate being touched) but it's not that simple. probably though fairly safe to say for most people it would be a "don't touch me!" response. handshakes okay. fitsbumps if i remember what to do. it's complex probably stuff i should untangle up here knock-knock [taps head].

I don't like being touched from behind because I can't see the person coming. I like getting hugs because they're more predictable and I can see the person coming up to me.

I've never been a hugger. But I'm mellowing. We went to see a woman about a dog. After an hour, we took the dog in our car, gave her a check, and then she and my wife hugged. Then she looked at me and asked "Do you hug?", like she knew I might not. After sitting with her for an hour, I felt she was no threat, a 3 second hug (it's only a dog-deal, not a romantic encounter) was quite tolerable, and it's good to have a moment with "dog mom" for future harmony. But that was the first time I've been offered a choice.

^Her assumption might of been due to guys tending to be less into hugging than women are, especially since your partner was with you.

This is a slightly different type of situation but there were a couple times when my girlfriend hugged a woman while I was with her when I kind of wanted to hug the other woman too but I didn't make a move. I'm pretty sure my girlfriend would have been fine with it but I didn't want to risk creeping the other woman out. The women were acquaintances who were sweet & cute One was going through a hard time & I felt bad for her.

I like being touched by my friends and getting hugs. I'm a bit hesitant to initiate sometimes because I can't tell how receptive they are but if they initiate first I'm happy to follow. I started to enjoy platonic touch more over time, I noticed my old posts here from my teen years spoke of more hug aversion. But that was mostly because I had a "friend" who had no boundaries with me and took advantage. And my mother used to treat affection as an obligation despite being very verbally abusive and physically aggressive. So that marred my view of what true affection really looks and feels like.

The only time I hate being touched is if I'm feeling angry or flustered/confused. If I'm particularly joyful or on the flipside, very sad or afraid then affection is actively encouraged.

Edit: I'm not touchy feely with family unless it's an "emergency" when comfort is needed. Most of the time I find touching family a bit overwhelming. I only enjoy it with friends most of the time.

I am particularly sensitive to being touched from the neck up. People have gotten insulted when I noticeably tense up.

As far as hugs go I have never felt comforted by them. It varies a lot in how annoying they feel.

I loved being touched as a child too. Like I'd enjoy having headlice because I relaxed when the school nurse went through my hair, and I enjoyed having my hair combed for ages by my mother. So relaxing.

I also loved it in class when we sat on the floor and a girl sitting behind me would make plaits in my hair. That actually helped me to relax and pay attention to the teacher, so it was disappointing when the teacher would see someone playing with my hair and demand "stop that please, this isn't a barber's!"

And when playing a 'doctors and nurses' game with other kids at home they'd ask me where I wanted surgery and I always said my back, because it gave me the chance to lie on my front and have them touch my back using random toys and other objects from around the room. Pure bliss.

In fact, I've always hated not being touched! While I have pain sensitivity, I'm not sensitive to being touched.