bored and lonely

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lately scheduled for fewer work hours.

no "friends", "family", $$$, or car.

exhausted all the time.

have to be close to litterbox @ all times.

sick and tired of everyone and everything, especially myself.

zero hobbies.

not good @ anything.

don't like anything or anyone.

just kind of numb.

"thin line between love and hate"

could be applying for jobs. but the current dumpster fire "job" has not yet had the nerve to make my worthless corpse redundant.

"chase two birds and both escape".

You are good at running and at highly evocative prose.

I don't know anything about the former but I honestly think the latter is quite remarkable.

Many people covet these skills.

It is clear to any reader that you are exhausted, shortfatbalduglyman. It is an entirely understandable response to the stressors you've described.

I am very sorry you are bored and lonely.

it's just your opinion that it's "highly evocative prose".

"highly evocative prose" is not necessarily a good thing. and certainly not good enough to earn me minimum wage.

"Many people covet these skills". "highly evocative prose" is not a skill. eight billion precious lil "people" in the solar system. even if precious lil "people" "covet" something, doesn't mean that what they "covet" is a positive or marketable thing.

Oh yes, that's true.

I have thought about this and it was a self-indulgent thing for me to say, really.

There are things I admire about you, but it doesn't make your life any easier or better.

I am very sorry that there isn't anything in your life that feels simply good. I think that in itself can be an exhausting thing to experience. Everything takes energy, nothing gives anything back. (That was my experience of burn-out, anyway. Profoundly unpleasant.)

it's like i have nothing better to do than just sit around waiting to drop dead.

but only 42 years old.

whatever. autistic, transsexual, and litterboxing extreme difficulty. old man dropped dead 71 and old woman 66. so there is no way that i could continue living much longer, even under ideal circumstances. but, circumstances are not ideal in my "life". but no situation is perfect. and even if it were, then what? "whooptie do".

my worthless corpse has rapidly been on the decline for a long time.

so whatever.

I am very sorry you are experiencing that.

I know how useless it is to say this when it is so rarely an option, but it truly sounds like you need a break, mate. At least a month or two (preferably a year or two) with nothing to do and nothing to think about.

The worst part of burn-out, for me, was the fatigue. Debilitating, absolutely crushing, mentally and physically. I do genuinely sympathise.

You're just in a really crappy situation, and I'm sorry.

I hope the next place is a bit saner.

kuen

especially lately, most people could use a break.

but a "break" is just way too expensive financially and just not happening.

besides, even if i took a "break", sooner or later i would have to come back to the original situation.

sometimes i feel like i'm on a treadmill and about to fall off.

That is it we could all use a break and the world just keeps happening at us.



This is the bit that makes perfect sense to me.

I have fallen off a couple of times.

It is not fun.

You are much tougher than me, shortfatbalduglyman, but I'm sorry you have had to be. You are well past the point at which I've crumbled. It is one of the things that I admire about you. But it's awful to be stuck for so long at your limit.

I really hope the next Home Depot is better and that you start to feel some improvements.

The title of this thread immediately made me think of this (replace "scared" with "bored"):

I've felt bored and lonely since Barb moved into a rest home. Dean lives with his dad and Barb lives in a home. When I go for a walk, I'm by myself. I'm not much for small talk, so I keep to myself. I hardly know anyone who lives in my apartment building. I'm working on some hobbies right now, so I won't feel so bored.

Sorry you feel lonely SFBUM and CR

i'm sure mister redelings and kayla f are having the time of their lives and plenty of "friends", fambly and servants.

i feel like i got the short end of the stick.

those lil rodents did not get "held accountable"

they owe me an apology. but "actions speak louder than words". there is nothing they could do to make up for the damage they had the nerve to cause me. however, $$$ is better than nothing.

I'm afraid of interacting with anyone because some of the most trustworthy appearing "people" I have ever interacted with, ended up not as great as they appeared

today, not scheduled to work monday through friday.

no car, no "friends," no $$$, nothing to do

bored with everyone and everything, especially myself

not good at anything

don't like or enjoy anything or anyone. exception: emotional overeating

every day, do the same thing. every day, think the same thoughts.

wanna do something different, but $$, exhausted, lazy, apathetic, and

Want to do something new, different and fun

But don't want peer pressure or bad influence

Not worth the effort it takes

Some days don't even want to talk at all

today was new years day

did nothing today

no work

sprinkled lightly but continuously all day long. didn't go out b/c didn't want shoes to get wet. only have 3 more pairs of shoes that are dry and they take a couple days to dry.

library closed

didn't even go grocery shopping

applied for some jobs

nap

wanna talk to someone. but not someone that says "huh" and "what" instead of "excuse me". and not someone judgmental, and compliments are just as judgmental as criticism. and not someone manipulative and that thinks they have great advice to give me. which pretty much eliminates everyone.