The greatest struggle of my life has been always being single. This has impacted me in a great number of both obvious and hidden ways. I certainly have dealt with the struggle of loneliness as profoundly as I think anyone has. My struggle is my biggest (and really only goal in life) is to be in a romantic relationship someday. Despite this I am 38 and have still never been close to a relationship before. I have been on six first dates, two second dates and zero third dates. Hell my last date was in 2017. It has been awhile.
That said I keep trying to put myself out there online. But it is tough to ask women out in person without me really knowing them. I am a homebody and do not really have a social life. So if I am going to be asking women out in person, it is basically going to be a 'cold approach.' Look I have been rejected a ton. In the future I am sure I am going to be rejected a ton more. Being rejected does not bother me. But I need to at least have a chance.
I guess the older I get the more I have come to realize that I am simply not what most women are looking for. I do not have a job right now, I live with my parents, I am autistic. I do not think I am a bad person, I certainly think I can be a great boyfriend someday. But I do know that I am just not what most women are looking for.
I guess I just have a hard time asking women out in person because of that lack of confidence. I feel so much better asking women out online or on dating apps because I can be 100% open and honest about who I am. I am upfront about having autism. I am upfront about living with my parents. You get the idea. But it seems impossible to do that in person.
All I know is I need to keep putting myself out there (both online and in person) in order to achieve my biggest goal in life. But keeping confidence up is tough for me.
15 Dec 2025, 6:09 pm
