Is THIS something an NT would've known right away??

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I came across this recent article on "Simply Psychology", snippet pasted below; it concerns a female autistic who took a subtle prompt very literally... but I would dispute whether an NT would've picked up on the hidden message...that is IF the annoyance of the loud TV to her neighbour wasn't in "real time", happening right at the moment that said neighbour made the dog comment/hint.

I mean, if this neighbour had knocked on the autistic woman's door (during the loud TV) and made that hinted statement, then it'd be a lot more obvious what the nuisance was, as opposed to telling her an hour or a day later.

Literal Interpretations of Implied Messages

A woman shared that her upstairs neighbor would ask, “I hope I’m not too loud with my dog?” She always reassured him it wasn’t a problem.

Much later, she realized he was likely hinting that her TV was too loud. “I wish people would just say what they mean,” she reflected.

It wasn’t unwillingness to change—just a missed cue in an indirect message.

No, I don't think so. An inability to say things like this directly or a reliance on passive hints is a sign of social immaturity (or perhaps social anxiety). I believe it is frustrating to nearly everybody.

Ah, thank you for the vote of confidence!! Yes, I'd think this is a personality thing - some folks are just timid or non-assertive communicators - like the opposite of a Type-A personality. In fact, before my diagnosis with ASD in 2001, I'd often thought that instances of indirect communication were more strongly linked to personality, rather than any overarching social protocol. I wasn't totally wrong, but I wasn't totally right either (another adaptation, avoiding black-and-white thinking LOL!! )

Oh looking back I phrased that harshly.

It is common to struggle to say things like this directly, but courteous to try, because there are no mind-readers.

Passive hinting can sometimes be interpreted as disrespectful of people's time and attention, especially in the workplace.

I agree about personality types. I think often it happens when people are conflict-averse or conflict-sensitive. Also different cultures experience this differently. My Japanese teacher used to drill me on the art of polite ambiguity, which (like frankness) is another way of showing consideration. But still that is not passive hinting at something you want, it is... leaving space for other perspectives

That is a big one, well done

I would opine as well that this fellow with the dog surely must've noticed that the autistic woman's TV volume would only go up whenever his dog loudly barked, and put two and two together. HE was in the wrong to drop a non-assertive hint like this, rather than disciplining his damn dog as the cause

I don't get it. I'm not really a literal-minded person, but I don't see how a dog (imaginary or not?) could have anything to do with a TV being on loud. Maybe I might understand if I had more context of the situation.

^I wonder if perhaps her loud TV triggered the dog into barking There's not enough info for me to know how his comment about his dog would be related to her TV being loud. I'm guessig that the autistic woman with the loud TV in that situation might know more about the context if she were NT. It's also pissible that the comment about the dog barking was completely unrelated to her TV but she later assumed it was due to being aware that us autistics have problems with indirect communication; basically she read too much into it due to worrying that she could have missed something.

My downstairs neighbour used to always asked me a similar thing about if she's too noisy for us

My immediate knee jerk reaction was always to wonder if she is saying such a thing to make me aware of my noise

If it was because of this then the hint worked because it did make me think more about the level of my noise

I don't know if this is an NT thing to do or say or think or if it's just a personality thing

I have to admit that I wouldn't stop to these tactics myself
I can't be bothered

However my daughter would have taken it literally but she wasn't brought up having to second guess what people actually mean when they say things to you

I think I would have gotten a clue from the way they say it, as I'm very sensitive to picking up tone of voice and facial expressions.

But NTs can miss social cues too sometimes. Last week at work there were extra orders at work all because the person in charge of the ordering (definitely an NT) took a joke literally.

It was actually quite funny.

Yeah it does depend on the person

My downstairs neighbour is very nice and there was no tone in her voice. It's just me and my cryptic mind

I would actually think it's more autistic to look for cryptic clues in things
I never fully understand why they say we're literal because I never have been, not even as a child

I do pick up in subtleties very quickly but I'm inclined to keep my thoughts as to myself a lot because it can freak people out when they think you're "on to them" and they're just being normal and doing no actual harm

But for me it can cause me anxiety when I can hear what someone is saying but I can see that they actually mean something else

It all depends on trust with me. I'm cryptic around people I don't really trust, but if I trust someone enough then I'm not looking for anything sinister in their words or actions, as instinctively I feel safe with them. I feel safe with everyone on this site, for example, so it's not very easy to upset me here.
But if people have a history of causing upset for me, even if it's subtle, then I can become paranoid and anxious whenever I'm around them, and I start imagining them plotting against me. But fortunately I trust more people than not, as there has to be a proven reason as to why I don't trust them. On the very rare occasion I have made mistakes with being too cryptic about the wrong person, but misunderstandings do happen. We're only human. NTs can get it wrong too, like sometimes they can mistake a shy person (not necessarily an Aspie) for being peculiar or unfriendly.

I made a mistake today, a friend at work pointed to a pack of biscuits and said that he'd got them for me and another friend. I thought he'd meant he'd got a pack of biscuits each for us and that maybe the other friend had taken her's, so I said "thank you" and without thinking I slipped the remaining packet of biscuits into my bag, as I know it can be rude to reject a gift. But later my friend asked where the biscuits were, and luckily my social instinct kicked in as I suddenly figured out that the one pack of biscuits were for me and the other friend to share, so I said "oh, I took them into the office, for safekeeping", then I said, "shall I bring them back in here?" And I went to get them from my bag without anyone seeing. I'm glad I got away with that little error lol, because I hate coming across as greedy, as greed was not the intention.

I'm kind of a literal thinker but it used to be a bit worse. I'm kind of guarded & withdrawn with others & do not fully trust most anyone. However I tend to not dwell on what others might mean or what they're doing. I'm kind of in my own world when around others with the exception of my girlfriend. I feel for others who are going through difficult & hard times but I tend to not dwell on it a lot. If I know a way I can easily help without it costing me or majorly inconveniencing me, I usually will.

That's a nice way to be really

I think ex was a bit like that. He had a lot of good qualities

I'm not so sure the neighbor commenting really was a hint about the TV. It's quite possible that the person was just concerned that his dog was too loud.

Yeah, in the end, I've got to say that's an ambiguous one...I think it would've had NTs wondering too.
That's one of the things that comes with the territory of being on the spectrum - we often second-guess ourselves or overthink things because of past regrettable or embarrassing experiences.