Do you think my mom's comments were insensitive?

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When I was 22 I remember I used to style my hair in middle parting/floppy style like the curtains look. I was having a walk with my mom one day and I compared my look/hairstyle to a 90s david beckham. My mom then commented in a negative/disagreeing way towards me "David Beckham is considered to be good looking by the masses" and also "He is known for his looks"

Do you think my mothers comments were a little insensitive towards me or not?

To me it sounds like she was focused on "the masses" and the public image more than a comparison with you. However, you would have heard the tone and any gestures she may have made.

Speaking as one who experienced childhood abuse, holding on to past resentments only harms yourself. It can be better to look at people who have wronged you as simply limited in their ability to live life and thus not capable of being better.

No, it's really not that insensitive to comment that someone isn't as attractive as a well-known beauty/sex icon. It's just the way things go.

That comment wasn’t helpful at all because it had nothing to do with the hairstyle itself. She could have said something like, "That particular style doesn’t suit you," or, "It’s not quite the same." That would’ve been a more helpful comment because it gives you something actionable: you could choose a different style.

Parents and family members do that from time to time. After all, they’re human, and sometimes they miss the mark.

I think it was insensitive. I can only imagine being supportive & loving in comments with a son or daughter. Confidence in the “sense of self” is one of the biggest issues in someone on the spectrum, so I’m sorry you didn’t receive a more supportive, caring response. I’m all for honesty, but my honest response, is that a Mother who loves & cares for her son or daughter, no matter his or her age, will be supportive. Even if the style genuinely doesn’t support someone’s thought of what is attractiveon you, specifically, or not, there are far better, positive ways to encourage you. This goes with all things …

I think that was a stupid thing for your mother to say to her son. It reflects badly on her. That said, it was 14 years ago, right? Time to move on!

You classify a wrinkly balding man as a beauty/sex icon then?:|

I mean the guy spends thousands of dollars on his looks with botox fake tans and countless hair transplants/wiga ffs. Sorry but it just makes my blood boil when people go on about him bring the best cause he is all fake



A picture of beauty really????
https://tinyurl.com/2ta5c6ta

I don't even disagree, but some people buy into image easily. If your mom is one of them, you're unlikely to convince her he isn't all she imagines him to be. If you know she puts him on a pedestal, accept that's the lens she's gonna see things though.

It's certainly an odd comment to make

If my daughter asked me that I don't think my mind would automatically switch David Beckham or whatever the equivalent

Yes. Yes they were. My read is "How could you think you're good looking like he is"

Fake beard fake eyebrows fake hair and loads of Botox

Everything about that man is phoney. Anyone really could look like that if they invested millions of dollars on there looks

You sound a bit jealous that your mom fancies him.

But, that's the nature of crushes (celebrity or otherwise), other people don't always rate the target of one's affections the same way the fancier does.

To be fair I always had a crush on Princess Diana even though (before she died) she was probably all fake and done up too with fake tans and hair extensions etc….

Now I'm picturing Princess Diana as a chavette.

It's kinda insensitive for her to follow though with the comparison, but it would be much more so if you hadn't brought the comparison up in the first place.

If you can imagine her attempting to emulate Princess Di's style and then bringing it up with you, you might respond with a similar observation about how she's not Diana/Diana was known for her grace/etc before having the chance to consider how her feelings might be impacted simply because it's awkward to compare a relative to someone you think is hot.

I think this was just a misunderstanding. It sounds to me like your mom fancies David Beckham a little, and was startled to consider that her own son may look like him. Maybe your dad looked like David Beckham when he was younger, which would make sense if she fancies Beckham and your hair works in a similar hairstyle.

Do you think you could have another conversation with her, and ask something like, "Hey, I wanted your opinion on something. If you had to compare my 'look' to a celebrity, which one would it be?" If she asks why, you could just say that you were thinking about haircuts or wondering what was in style or something like that.

Then whoever she names would give you an idea of how she considers you in her mind. If she's like, "Well, I would say you are a Mr. Bean sort of character..." then you can be offended.